i posted this on fb today, i thought it might get an amen here.

[mopinko]

got into a fight w my best friend this morning because i woke up w a knife of pain in my back, so i thought i might need to explain to more than just one person.

i feel like i ought to put this out there.
i dont like to bitch about my health, or, frankly, to talk about it.
but i feel like maybe some of my friends are scratching their heads about stuff i am or am not doing, and i think it might help if i explained.

i have had a lot of ups and downs in my health for nearly 20 years now. i got bit by a mosquito, and came down w west nile. i never felt good again. i have fibromyalgia, and some autoimmune irregularities as well as 3 separate autoimmune conditions.

i have had creeping osteoarthritis for the last decade, starting w 2 vertebral disks that fell apart in '08.
2 years ago, i had to have my shoulder reconstructed, and now i have 2 hips and a knee that are a daily drag.
and i cant take most pain meds, as my intestines are sorta falling apart.

the last 2 years have been a steady downward slide.
at this point, i am barely functional.
tho i marvel at the number of seedlings and plants that i was able to produce this year, i also know how many failed, and why, and how much more i could have done w just a little more energy, and how much extra help it took.

i am grateful as all holy hell that i have the kind of support for everyday life functions that i have now, but i think everybody knows that that is a rose w many thorns.

through all this, i have never doubted that there was a fix out there that could at least make things better.
both surgeries were very successful, and made a massive improvement. meds have helped keep the fibro at bay for a long while.

but i turn 65 in a few short weeks, and it feels like there are no more peaks out there for me to climb. just a deeper and deeper valley, w no passes out.

so, if i miss your thing, even tho i said i was gonna be there a couple of hours ago, or it takes me several hours or even days to answer your messages, or it seems like i am always napping, now you know why.

no sorries or prayers or suggestions needed.
i just thought there were more than a couple people on this feed that might read this and go- ooo00ooh.

ps, if you post something that is the kind of thing that makes people w chronic illness groan or cry, imma delete it.
i have heard them all, i know they are well intentioned. but they can make us sickies a little nuts, and i dont want that to happen to any of my sicky friends.
i aint mad at ya. it's ok, but it's my thread here.

[akraven]

1. RE: Fibro (25 year veteran here) -

Have you tried Hemp CBD? It's a cannabinoid derivative; legal in most states. You have to kind of "build it up" in your system but it's sure helped.

In the meantime, I've got your back and am sending big Alaska bear hugs!

[mopinko]

2. oh man, an actual bear hug.

hugs are how i get through life, fersher.

i have an mmj card. cdb helped me sleep, but not much else.
trying to find the right strains, and it has been hit and miss so far.
def have atypical brain chemistry, cuz so far it is all upside down.
have a really good dispensary, tho, and am hopeful.

[akraven]

3. It's about time this nation and it's really backward lawmakers learned.

We don't have to carry cards or anything (Pakalolo's ROCKS - local store owned by a friend) but big Insurance won't let up. Sigh.

[mopinko]

4. yeah, i mostly got the card in the teenie weenie hope

that it might get covered some day.