24 hours after diagnosis

[Wiscodoug]

Yesterday I went to see a urologist. He suggested that I might have prostate cancer. I am scared, confused, angry etc. I have very few close friends and am mostly estranged from my blood relatives. Seeing tears in the eyes of my wife of ten years was disturbing. I don't know who to turn to. Thats why I am posting this as I do the required research. Perhaps some of you here could point me in the right direction so I may learn and plot my next steps. I feel alone in the dark.

[Drum]

1. I don't know anything that would really help, but I am sending HOPE

[mobeau69]

2. Wow. Hard to imagine a doctor telling you that without definitive lab results.

[nocoincidences]

3. prostate cancer is highly treatable if caught early.

Don't freak out, yet.

Start educating yourself so that you can ask good questions that get you the info you need at each step.

Mayo Clinic is a good place to start learning:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/prostate-cancer/symptoms-causes/syc-20353087

[Wiscodoug]

8. Thank you.

Being educated is my first step. My journey begins now.

[virgdem]

12. You might also google Proton Therapy

The Mayo Clinic, Johns Hopkins and Hampton Virginia are some places that option is available. According to what info the website had, Proton therapy is very effective in treating prostate cancer. Good luck and keep us posted.

[elleng]

4. Be calm,

there is a lot that can be done.

I am in the DC area, and a good friend had the diagnosis (several years ago,) was able to get into a program @ National Institutes of Health. He thereafter had radiation therapy, and has been cancer-free ever since then; they check him regularly.

I have learned there are several approaches to treat this cancer; it is VERY common.

Find out what does it mean you 'might have prostate cancer?' What next steps does he suggest? Are you comfortable with this Doc? Are there others near you?

Take follow up steps quickly; do SOMETHING to relieve your anxiety.

Best wishes.

[barbtries]

5. Check out this board:

https://csn.cancer.org/categories/prostate

it's a message board hosted by the American Cancer Society.

best wishes for a speedy, positive outcome. Breathe.

Also! Check the Support Forums right here on DU. I am nearly certain that you will find a Cancer Support forum there. 2nd edit: lol, that's where you posted this. duh

[Botany]

6. Stuff:

Talk to your Drs, the American Cancer Society has excellent information on line as does the Mayo
clinic, and just remember that it dark because there is no light so it is up to you to be the light for
yourself, friends, family, and what or whomever else that need some illumination. No simple answers.

[Freethinker65]

7. Prostate cancer is very common, especially as men age.

There is lots of information readily available. As always, make sure the information comes from a reliable source and listen to your doctors and yourself about treatment options. Get a second or third opinion if you feel uneasy.

I know you said your immediate support is small, but if you open up to a few people, you might be surprised to find others around you are having, or have had, experience with the same diagnosis.

I am currently having a really bad chronic GI condition flare up. I finally, sheepishly, mentioned it to coworkers and was surprised how many had experience with similar diagnoses. I learned a lot of valuable info, including names of a few local specialist recommendations, and really felt less alone as I deal with my symptoms and treatment.

[mopinko]

9. i'm in a similar sitch, only a few wks ahead of u.

similar cancer- melanoma caught in situ. removed. cancer free for now, but will have a full body exam every 3 mos for the foreseeable future. unlike u, there’s 1 prostate but yards of skin. this 1 is gone, but the chance of recurrence is 90%. at least it’s easy to detect.

but yeah, the word cancer is rattling around in my brain. now every time i fill out a health screening, i have to check the box that says cancer. that bothers me greatly. not sure y.
i have a pic a chunk of my shoulder in a plastic jar. i have a 3” scar. surgery was minor, but in a bad spot. i’m weight limited for 2 wks. no strenuous activity. no walking my problem dog. no yoga. no hot sex, which is not a problem, but…

even if u have a ‘good kind’, cancer is cancer and cancer sucks golf balls through garden hoses.

best of luck. this is a great group.

[woodsprite]

10. We're here for you

My onco encouraged me to read/research all I could as long as it was from reputable sources (NIH, Mayo, MD Anderson, etc) then bring my questions to our next appointment. He also drove home the point that I was not a number or statistic, and the numbers in the reports were working with data that was at least a year old. Also, in going through the reports, I noticed a huge difference in European vs American reports. American reports are drug centered whereas European reports seem to be patient/outcome centered.

I wish you the best.

[Wiscodoug]

11. Yep

I am relatively new here at D.U. yet I am here reading daily. I am a pretty private person as well and do not want my social media peeps in the loop. Yet I am not afraid to reach out here. The responses I have received in a short period of time have been informative and kind. I just knew I could reach out here at D.U. I feel a big hug from you, my human family.

[al_liberal]

13. Don't put the cart ahead of the horse just yet.

Believe me, I’ve been there. I was diagnosed via biopsy almost 4 years ago. As I understand things you don’t know for certain you have cancer yet. Yes, it hits you hard, just the thought that it might be real. Makes your neck hair stand up and your blood run cold. Take a few deep breaths and then learn as much as you can as you await your next steps. It’s slow growing so you have time. Here’s a board that was quite helpful to me

https://healthunlocked.com/prostate-cancer-community

Hug your wife, be thankful shes there and that you have each other. Don’t let the fear and worry take hold, it’s rarely as bad as our minds lead us to believe.

Good luck!

[XanaDUer2]

14. You're in my thoughts

Don't freak out yet.

[Daylily]

15. Find support

Get on Facebook or whatever social media you want and find support groups. I have myeloma and I greatly appreciate the groups that understand my situation. So sorry for your diagnosis, but it may not be as bad as you think.
In the four years I’ve had myeloma they have developed new therapies. The one I’m on now is so new they don’t even know what it’s totally capable of. I’m currently cancer free after 40 days of treatment. They don’t know if it will last or if I’m cured. But it’s a hope anyway. Good luck.

[TNNurse]

16. Try not to freak out until you know more.

If you do get that diagnosis (my husband has been recently treated and I am a cancer survivor as well) Here are two suggestions.

Do not go to an appointment alone (yes, your wife needs to hear what you hear) and ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS. They have the responsibility to answer them. If you do not get enough info, seek another source.

We were both hospital RNs for many years and still struggled with all of it.

Ask about a support group. We avoided the internet for medical info (American Cancer Society is good), but there is a lot of bad info online.

[Lifeafter70]

17. My brother was dxed with it years ago

Had radiation and is still cancer free today. Sending calming and healing vibes your way.

[Nac Mac Feegle]

18. Been there too

My PSA was a bit high, 4.2, so my GP sent me to the urologist. He says that I have a job that involves a lot of driving, so we'll just keep an eye on it. I tell him that I had an Uncle that died from it, and he immediately says "OK, we're scheduling a biopsy".

I came back with a Gleason 2B score.

Referred to a Prostate Cancer specialist clinic, and went through 9 weeks of radiation treatment 5 days a week.

My PSA is now down to 0.1

There are a lot of variables. Your age, your PSA, your family history, and sadly, your insurance. I was lucky. I said the right thing to the right guy at the right time while I was at a 'young' enough age and had good enough insurance.

PC is very common. One guy I was talking with said that if a man lives long enough, he will get it.

That it's so common means that there is a lot of experience in dealing with it. But there are a lot of variables, again. You might want to get a second opinion if the present Dr. makes you uncomfortable, just to be sure.

If they've done the Lab tests and gotten the Core Samples, then you'll have a proper diagnosis. After that, you can determine and start a course of treatment. Check out the options. But one thing I have to underline is that the "Woo" isn't really a treatment. It may have some psychological benefits, but it's not a replacement for real science based treatment. That just delays things until it's too late. And that can turn a successful treatment into a really bad death. I won't recount what I know about that here.

Remember: Science is not a religion. It is a process for understanding a phenomenon, and dealing with it if necessary.

In the names of Bea, Jean, Joan, Steve, Marilyn, Paul, Ed, and most recently, Brent: FUCK CANCER