I've been diagnosed with stage four terminal cancer
On March 31’st my dog tripped me out in the driveway, my back started hurting but I’ve had ablation done on my lower back twice already and thought it was wearing off again
I started going into urgent cares and the pain got worse, they shot me up with four shots of morphine and four of Dilaudid and some toradol with no success
I was told by the doctors that with all that I should be dead, I didn’t lose an eyelash much less any other problems
A legal pain clinic had taken over my pain from a shattered right leg, a replaced left knee and the afor mentioned spinal pain nerve ablation in 2009, I was under their pain management until 2018 when I decided to get off the 180 mgs of Morphine PER DAY for 9 years solid
It seems my body has built up a resistance to opiates, my painkillers today are at: 90 mgs a day of oral extended release of morphine in a pill form
6 mg of oral Dilaudid every 3 hours, i injection of Dilaudid every 2 hours
And I’m still in pain, the cancer had eaten into my L-4 vertebra and had fractured it
The day I was admitted into the hospital I could walk with two canes, I can no longer get up or sit upright due to the pain
The cancer is in my liver, kidneys?, spine, shoulders, lungs etc, not sure where else yet
I’ve had scans and radiation treatments every day of the week now and it’s agony to lay on a table when your back is screaming the entire time, every time I leave my room it’s pain city at at least 7 on the ten scale
I sure hope the fentanyl patches work
They say without medical help I will last three more months, but I have ten more days of radiation treatment and that drops the pain level down I think
When I can go home in ten days ( cross my fingers) i will then start chemotherapy and go on from there, I may last until the end of the year
Peace to all, live, laugh and love ❤️
= new reply since forum marked as read
And also hugs. 
Lost a friend to bone cancer in the back, same sort of thing. He made it a couple years after diagnosis but he was only 28 y.o.
Again so very sorry to hear this. We're here for you.
And yes, tolerance to opioids is semi-permanent in the sense that, while it doesn't return immediately if you've been off them for some time (which actually causes a lot of OD's), but it returns much quicker (than it developed initially) once you return to taking them.
So will their physical withdrawal effects.
I hope the radiation and chemo will help.
sending you all the best vibes!
Will keep you in my prayers. 
You should have no trouble finding the RSO. Just be sure to read up on how to use it first, because it’s potent… start with a 1/2 grain of rice-sized drop of it. And also read about how to bring down a high in case you get too much in you as you progress. (There’s some research suggesting cannabis actually fights cancer, as well, but it’s not robust enough to be a sure thing.). Best of luck, and let me/us know how you’re doing. 
aches for you. I have sadly become familiar with this story; twin sis diagnosed with metastatic bone cancer after stage 4 breast cancer. She refused chemo fearing that would really mess with her remaining quality of life, but did get mammoth amounts of radiation to supposedly shrink the tumors, to no avail. Her biggest complaint is pain, and the pros seem to be having a tough time hitting on the right combo of drugs to make her comfortable. I do hope your pros keep addressing the drugs; seems to me no one should suffer in this day and age, though finding some of the drugs is challenging as pharmacists are reluctant to issue 'the good stuff' for fear of...what? She's a 67 year old woman dying of cancer, not a junkie.
Anyway, I will be thinking of you.
let us help you keep your spirits up!!!!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:hug
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
You should absolutely do as you wish and feel is best for you and your Mom. Wishing you all the comfort and peace possible right now. 
We'll be here. You are loved here.
Healing thoughts and peaceful vibes on their way! Concentrate on bringing as much peace into your life as possible. Time spent with the natural world works wonders.
Praying that fentanyl and radiation works well for you. Keep us updated, and take care!
Most of us can not imagine dealing with this much pain. May your optimistic nature and the loving care you are receiving bring you some measure of pain relief. You have many friends here that care. Sending our best wishes to you, friend.
Last month I had a fall and have 3 compressed fractures on my spine. It was such severe pain .still is. . I know how much pain you are feeling. I send you hugs and encouragement in your fight for life. it's good you have help from friends.
For your sake I hope the fentanyl patches work and you will be able to get through the treatment. You may last longer than the end of the year, and may all the days you have left be filled with "peace..., laugh and love" with a whole lot of life.
words fail. Please keep us posted and I wish you little pain and much peace.
It sounds horrible. hoping they help you get through the pain.
I hope you have made peace with your friends and family and that the rest of your life was one of joy.
My best to you.
Far too many Americans suffer from work-related injuries and just disappear from view with no word of thanks for their service and skills, and little sympathy for their long-term suffering that follows. They should all be celebrated as heroes.
I worked in hazardous industry for many years but came out relatively lucky. At 75, I only suffer from relatively minor back issues, although Mr. Arth Ritis is with me each day, mostly in my hands. In other words, I'm just plum wore out.
I hope you can find ways to discover tidbits of joy around you each day for the rest of your life, perhaps with nature or music and other forms of art. Please post a sample for us when you do discover something that brings you joy.
Thank you so much for sharing some of the details of your life with DU. You have inspired many of us today.
May peace be with you, SonofDonald............
We send life, laughter, and love right back to you!
As well as hugs
Wishing you luck & sending hugs 🤗
I'm so glad there are so many caring people here to share in your troubles. Sending love and positive healing vibes your way. I hope they find a good cocktail to make you feel comfortable. Keep that great attitude. It makes all the difference. 
I hope all of your days are filled with love
I'm sending you good vibes, prayers and a big hug. Stay positive, life can be so unpredictable. I hope that you have a support system of family and friends around you.
I hope you won't mind my using your first name. I've been using search to look at a lot of your old messages, and I noticed you signed your name to a beautiful and very touching reply you posted for The_jackalope in 2017: https://www.democraticunderground.com/1285294#post2 .
I wish so much you weren't in so much pain, and I hope the radiation treatments that are scheduled will bring it under control.
I hate cancer. I've lost relatives (including both my grandmothers) and other loved ones to cancer, but I've also had other relatives and loved ones recover from it. The treatments are so much better now than they used to be, and they're constantly finding new ones. It's good that you haven't given up hope.
That pain, though...
I've had some pain at least part of every day for 40 years, due to a bad fall on an icy sidewalk. Even at its worst it was trivial compared to what you're going through now, but I couldn't take prescription painkillers because my brain seems to check out when I do (and I'd only realize later that I'd screwed something up), so it was still enough to make my existence a living hell for a while, especially with the disability that went along with it for a while (couldn't climb stairs, couldn't sit at a desk, had to use an overbed table as a desk). I got terribly depressed and had to learn a lot of coping skills I'd never bothered to learn before, especially using meditation and music to tune out the pain. I noticed quite a few of your old posts were about music. I hope you have the music you love in the hospital. It might not seem like something that could help with such extreme pain now, but it might. My pain level was also trivial compared to what other family members with back problems have had - they've been on prescription painkillers for years, and one has a morphine pump implanted - but it sounds like your pain is worse than theirs.
Reading about what you're going through makes me feel like screaming because we don't have better painkillers for those who truly need them.
I noticed, going through your old messages, that you were raised Catholic (ditto) but left the church long ago (ditto). I don't belong to any religion now, but because of my own experiences and those of so many people I've known who've lost loved ones, I do believe we all have homecomings and reunions with loved ones (including pets) when we finally cross over. I have no idea how it works, but I don't think it has anything to do with our beliefs, or lack of them.
I'm hoping a successful treatment for both the cancer and the pain will be found, and that you'll have more years with your loved ones here, before those reunions on the other side with all your loved ones there (including Kittymonster, whose name I love).
Wishing you peace and healing, happiness and love.
The diagnosis is what it is, but I hope you find plenty of time without pain to live, laugh, and love as much as your heart can take.
You are an inspiration and have helped me to take a more positive view of my health issues. Peace and love to you.
and just a little thought -- something that has comforted me: knowing what my father's favorite song was -- maybe you can share what your favorite tune is with your daughter
prayers and support.
I am so sorry to hear this news. This can be a rough road. I have stood by friends who have gone through this -- some have survived some have not.
Sending hugs and healing thoughts.
hope that you are surrounded by those who may have more options than I have considered and likewise the love of friends and family. I'd love a miracle. I'd love for you to find comfort and peace. You are in my thoughts. We care.
I wish I had words of comfort but here's a virtual hug with caring vibes.
A friend just told me of her stage 4 diagnosis a few weeks ago so your post was hard to read. Last week I read a headline that some company is close to a blood test for cancer. I wonder if we spent even half the pentagon budget on cancer research where we'd be in that fight today? It's hard living in a country with such misplaced priorities. Have you seen Michael Moore's movie "Where to Invade Next?" Highly recommended! It's not about healthcare, it's about priorities. You can rent it on Amazon for $4.
I hope the radiation helped the pain.
