Irrational thoughts

[Tab]

• Is this going to kill me? A: I believe the answer is yes.
• Okay, when? Soon? A: I don't know.
• Well, do you get to live a few years? A: I don't know.
• Can you get a more specific date for planning purposes? A: My oncologist refuses to give an expiration date.
• Doesn't that mess with your head? A: In theory yes, but without cancer I felt I'd live to late 70s or 80s anyway, although in reality I could die on the Interstate or in the local rotary, or hit by a meteorite, whatever, but those are all maybes whereas I know the cancer is a definite taker-down, just don't know when.
• Are you special? A: Apparently not.

[Hoppy]

1. When Joyce was diagonsed, we were given a projection of a couple of month to 2 years.

It ended up being two months.

I guess the takeaway is, make plans for the shortest time and do the best to get the most out of any time beyond that.

Sorry for your diagnosis.

[Ruby the Liberal]

2. Mental processes

I went through this when my Dad was Dx with cancer. What is easier - getting the knock on the door/phone call telling us that there has been an accident, or having a doctor tell us "he has a year".

In his case, I definitely appreciated the heads up. He had an untreatable cancer and indeed lived 1 year and 10 days from his Dx. We had that time with him, and were able to plan to his wishes.

When it is your own Dx, its different.

Not sure how I feel on that whole "knowing" (or "this will likely kill me, but when&quot thing - but I completely get what you posted. Its a Catch-22 without any answers.

[onethatcares]

3. Tab, I see nothing

irrational about those thoughts.

[wordpix]

4. We are programmed to destruct

Call it DNA or just life/death, we'll all expire one way or another. Now that I'm 63 and a cancer patient, I can honestly say that living into my 80's or 90's isn't such a great goal. I saw my mother through 7 yrs. of Alzheimer's in her 80's - that's not for me. And my dad was sick the last two years of his life and died an awful death in the hosp. Stepfather was a paraplegic for his last 3 years. Stepmom can now barely walk at 90 and has no friends since they've all died. Uncle at age 94 is going deaf and blind. A long life isn't all it's cracked up to be.