Well, my wife went away for the weekend...

[bif]

And I stayed sober the whole time! In years past, it would have been an excuse to get shitfaced every night. But I didn't have a drop. Ate plenty of good food and sweets. Watched a ton of movies. And kept my mind off booze. It's been almost 4 years and it is truly getting easier.

I also like the fact that I don't have to spend Sunday taking all the empty bottles to various public trash cans. Sheesh, the sneaking aspect of drinking really got to me after a while!

[snowybirdie]

1. Keep on

Keeping on!

[Jade Fox]

2. Blessings on you..

You're worth it!

[CurtEastPoint]

3. well done. COntinue on, my friend!

[badhair77]

4. Excellent.

You should be proud.

[CentralMass]

5. Congratulations.

[enough]

6. This is inspiring -- thanks!

[cksmithy]

7. Good job!

[Joinfortmill]

8. Good for you!

[MLAA]

9. Way to go!

[twodogsbarking]

10. What they all said. Stay well.

[rzemanfl]

11. This Friday will be 37 years for me. K&R. n/t

[Magoo48]

37. Just celebrated 38 years yesterday.

Keep up the good work, bif.

[rurallib]

12. Its a great feeling isn't it? Sounds like you are now in control

of your life!

My heartiest congratulations!

[Walleye]

13. Excellent. 28 years for me. It does get easier. I got so tired of arguing with myself about it

[IbogaProject]

14. On day or weekend at a time

But as you get set into your new habits it becomes easier.

Good effort, solid success, and thanks for sharing.

[Ford_Prefect]

15. Well done you!

[vlyons]

16. Congratulations

Great not to be enslaved to alcohol. I used to drink way too much. 15 yrs ago that little voice in my head told me that I really needed a drink. It's a terrible habit. Ya don't neeeeeed that shit to be happy, content, and have peace of mind.

Stay sober and stay healthy.

[barbtries]

17. I'm happy and proud

for you. You're beating it and I hope your life is so much better in every way.

[soldierant]

18. "The sneaking aspect"

Back in the late sixties and early seventies when I was in the military, there was a Catholiic priest who made some films for the navy on alcoholism. The talks were not religious, but were very down to earth. Father Martin was his name. I'll never forget his illustration of the sneaking aspect involving soeone sneaking into the bathroom, lifting the lid of the toilet tank, all in order to take out some green beans. Yeah, it's the sneaking aspect which is the dead giveaway. So glad you are experiencing freedom from that and all the other aspects.

[Warpy]

19. "Hiding the bottles" was a great article out on the net

My ex was the drinker, and he'd try to hide them from himself, lying to himself about how much he was drinking, really pathetic. When I'd find one, usually poking out of the strapping between floor joists, I'd just take it upstairs and put it with the rest, out in the open. I was not a good enabler, I really sucked at that job, never poured it out or salted it or marked the bottles, it was his problem, not mine.

I'm glad to report he got sober a couple of years after I left and none of his problems went with me. He wasn't a bad guy, just a drunk.

It's good that it's getting easier. It's better that you didn't give in to loneliness and boredom for a few minutes of "whee!" followed by hours of sodden incoherence. Give yourself a well deserved pat on the back, you passed another test.

ETAL found it. My ex probably did a lot of these, but I never went looking for it, just rescued the precarious ones so I wouldn't have to clean up broken glass and spilt cheap booze: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/129489-bottles-how-hide-them.html

[TexasBushwhacker]

22. My dad was in denial about his parents

and, frankly, about himself. When his father died and his mother went to live with my aunt, my dad's job was to clean his parents house out to prepare it to be sold. They were hoarders as well as being drunks. Daddy started finding pint and half pint bottles of liquor here, there and everywhere. Stashed in kitchen and bathroom cabinets, behind and underneath furniture, etc... Daddy started putting them on the kitchen table, just to see how many he found. It ended up being over a hundred. As much as they drank, it would have been more economical to buy gallons, but almost all the bottles were pints and half pints.

[COL Mustard]

26. That's part of the enabling/denial

If you only buy a half pint here and there, it's not a problem. But if you're that person coming out of the likker store with a gallon or two every weekend, you have a problem.

My dad used to "hide" the stuff all over the place and thought he was soooooooo clever. We all knew how much there was, and we all knew why he went outside after supper (and came back in mean and ready to fight 2-3-4 hours later) but he was sooooooo smart. Ah hell, they weren't good times but they were times.

[Warpy]

28. Addicts lie to everybody, but especially to themselves

My extended family were prodigious drinkers on both sides and a lot of them have died from it, also both sides. There was no way for me to be the one in denial, it's how I grew up.

I've always counted myself very lucky that something sneaked in on a stray gene and I can't drink (red face and migraine, no party, just pain). Oh, I had a brief period when I realized beer could be fun, I was 13. I was over it by 15 and couldn't drink at all by my mid 20s.

I posted the article because anyone who's gotten sober or who has lived with an alcoholic will recognize all this stuff.

I loved the sock on the porch roof. I don't think my ex thought of that one. I did see them in trees and under the garden shed but I left those there. Bad enabler!

My dad bought his favorite poison in half gallon bottles. He had about 3/4 left in one plus a full one when he died. He only made it as far as problem drinking. He was just hedging against another batch of hurricanes that closed his local grog shop for weeks.

[Random Boomer]

42. My ex came from a family of alcoholics

My ex hated that her mother was an alcoholic and recognized the incredible stress it placed on the family. As the oldest child, she bore the brunt of dealing with her mother drunk, passed out, and her father's anger at being married to a woman who couldn't meet the social expectations of a corporate executive's wife.

With all this history, my ex vowed she would NEVER become an alcoholic like her mom, that she knew all the danger signs and she'd stop drinking before it was a problem.

Right....

Unfortunately, alcoholism is sneaky. She couldn't admit she had a problem and she didn't stop drinking until she landed in the hospital with liver failure. By the time she dried out and got sober, our relationship was ruined.

I'm glad she was finally able to stop drinking and that she stayed sober until her death a decade later. But she never really recovered emotionally. She was still making excuses for the drunken abuse that destroyed our partnership, still blaming me for leaving her. Somewhere underneath the self-absorbed bluster and arrogance was a warm, funny, loving person -- the person I first met. She lost her way, which still grieves me.

[lark]

20. Keep on trucking down that dry path!

Sounds like you've got a good handle on how to avoid the triggers. Not having to sneak is a major bonus!

[3catwoman3]

21. Bravo!

You have every reason to feel a sense of accomplishment.

[Jack-o-Lantern]

23. Yes, been there done that...fist bump my friend!

[MiHale]

25. It just keeps getting better ... 🤗🥳

[Upthevibe]

27. bif

What a beautiful, wonderful post.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience

I've been in recovery for 32 years. I had my last drink in the last minutes of 1989.

[wendyb-NC]

29. Very good

No more gymnastics to cover your tracks,trying to hide the evidence of several days of excessive drinking. Especially when excruciatingly hung over and ridden by guilt.

Keep on keeping on.

[Permanut]

30. 27 years sober here..

Drinking worked for me until it didn't work any more. Like some other old timers here, been there, done that. We know what a challenge you have faced. Congratulations on some really smart decisions.

[Marthe48]

31. You are doing wonderful!

I had a hard time quitting smoking. It took years for me to kick the habit. Good job on your effort and determination!

[Soph0571]

32. Yay you :-) nt

[CaptainTruth]

33. Excellent! Congratulations!

[Skittles]

34. outstanding

and bif, always remember this: if you think of caving in, just get on DU and tell us your intentions first, give us a chance to talk to you....there's ALWAYS someone here on DU, yes indeed

[ratchiweenie]

35. So proud of you and doesn't it feel good to stay sober and feel good about yourself. Like others

have said, if you find yourself craven, just come to DU and talk about it. So many smart people here who have been through so much and we will help you get through it. Many hands (and heads) make light work.

[calimary]

36. That's TERRIFIC, bif!

A major accomplishment that is!

Congratulations!!! Thanks for letting us know - it’s a real mood booster for everybody. In a way, any win (no matter how seemingly small) for one of us is a win for ALL of us.

[Tikki]

38. I heard a gentleman at the checkout at the grocery store announce he hadn't

had a drink in 20 years. And it reminded me that I haven’t had a drink in 19 years.

YAY for all of us…and it does get easier.

Tikki

[IronLionZion]

39. Good for you

Keep up the good work.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

40. are you involved with a 12 step group?

Or riding it out on your own? I'm almost 19 years w/out a drink but I don't do it alone. Congratulations!

[Random Boomer]

41. What a relief for your wife as well

Now she knows she can leave the house without triggering a drinking binge. That must be very liberating for her. She's not responsible for your sobriety, you are.

Congrats!

[ChazInAz]

43. One day at a time, mate!

After a while that adds up to a lot of "unlost weekends".
Forty-one years for me.

[fierywoman]

44. Yay you! Bravo!

[bif]

45. Thank you all! What a great group here!

My wife actually asked me, in a casual way if I drank over the weekend. She was almost expecting me to fall off the wagon!

I did celebrate yesterday by having an IPA! (NA, of course). It was pretty refreshing. I've had NA Guinness and Heineken as well. Only about once a month.

[Stuart G]

46. Congratulations ..very late, but my hat is off to you