Addiction & Recovery
Related: About this forumUgh! The weekend!
I really hate weekends. They're still a battle to get through and I really look forward to Mondays. The weekends for me was when I cut loose and drank while cooking. Now I sort of dread them. For the most part, I'm doing okay, especially during the week. I rarely think about drinking. So that's good! But sometimes on weekends I can't wait to crawl into bed early and watch a movie and take my mind elsewhere!
RainCaster
(11,545 posts)I really enjoy my Sat morning AA meeting. The people I've come to know are a real treasure in my life. A deep friendship has formed among us and we all look out for each other. This could be an ideal distraction for you. Please consider joining a 12 step program. Or if you are in one and it's not meeting your needs, look into others nearby.
bif
(24,002 posts)I do a SMART meeting every Saturday morning. Sometimes when I hear other people's stories, I think, hey, I wasn't that bad
I don't know what SMART is al about, but I do know that if you are having trouble getting through weekends the suggestion that you use AA as another source is probably the best advice you are going to get.. Use whatever it takes..
Been there,done that!
(On edit) I am not trying to be critical here but I have been around AA tables for over 35 years and that statement "I wasn't that bad" would cause me to worry some ...
bif
(24,002 posts)And like I said, I'm not an AA type person. Turned off by the whole higher power stuff. SMART recovery is working for me. If you're not familiar with it, it's a great organization. SMART stands for Self Management And Recovery Training. It's a science-based recovery system.
I base my faith in AA by 35 years of sobriety and the fact that I have not even thought about taking a drink in at least 30 of those year... BUT what ever works for you is the route to take...
PS ... was not intended to be a lecture just some information based on a years of experience watching success and failure at every level.
bif
(24,002 posts)It's just that I know a few folks who are so arrogant about AA and how they're sober for 20 years, three months and six days, they think they have all the answers. Their superior attitude just turns me off.
RainCaster
(11,545 posts)I have several friends in AA who are agnostics/atheists and they get along just fine with the rest of us. If SMART was working that well for you, weekends would be a welcome time to enjoy life away from work. There is a place for serenity in science, is it being taught in SMART? I'm not being persnickety, I really don't know anything about SMART.
One of my first things in AA was the higher power thingy and trust in "god" but that was,for me at least, a sure path back to the bottle.. I am an avowed atheist but I decided that since I could pick my own "higher power" I could manage ok . Actually was not that hard..Self honesty is the path to take... The other one that applied was "fake it til you make it" Not hard to do since I had been faking a lot of things for a long time already. AA has the best record of all programs so far.
I am in the same boat with little knowledge of SMART so will take time to look into it further..
Rhiannon12866
(222,219 posts)I knew nothing about AA when I started, but I'd tried everything else. So my friend (who is also a DU member now) has family members in AA, so she took me to my first meeting - and suggested a second one which turned out to be a women's meeting - and that's where I met the wonderful woman who reached out to me and became my sponsor. And, as you said, the thing that really worked for me was that I met friends there - and I realized I wasn't alone.
And I'm not religious, either, though I grew up in the Church - and at one of my first meetings there was a guy who seemed to know all about the literature (I bought all the books, treated it like I was back at school) started highlighting passages in my Big Book. And I said to him "I'm not religious" and he answered "Are you open minded?" Well, I did have "the gift of desperation" and that's what worked for me.
That was in 2008 and it did take me awhile, but I continued going to the meetings that my sponsor suggested (or took me to), meeting people and learning. And I've met all sorts of people in AA, some religious, many who are not, but I've always remembered that early advice and know now that everyone's different, but the program can work for any of us no matter what beliefs we have as long as we stick with it and don't drink.
Since then, I've become a long-time GSR for a beginner's group - and when that shut down due to Covid (it was at a treatment center where there are residents), I have friends who have recommended different groups and I step up when asked, was secretary at the women's group (which also shut down *sigh*) and my favorite "service," ordering coins for beginners and long-timers alike. I'm also responsible for a new group that started just a year ago, we get beginners there, too.
I had no idea what AA was like, but in these parts, it's a real community, so I reach out when I can and just "keep coming back." I still may not be religious, but I am open minded and AA has worked for me. And my sobriety date is tomorrow - I will have 13 years. And I consider myself very lucky that I found AA - and "sober support" from more people that I can count - so I will continue to "pay it forward" whenever I can as others did for me.
bif
(24,002 posts)My family did an intervention on me about 3 1/2 years ago. I went into a rehab center. During my stay i attended all sorts of meetings including AA, SMART, and Recovery Dharma. I related to SMART and have been attending their meetings ever since. We have a good bunch of folks here in the Detroit area. Very supportive! I'm also interested in Recovery Dharma since I can relate to the Buddhist philosophy. I may check a local meeting of that out.
One of the things I like about SMART is if you mess up, you don't start over. The analogy they make is if you're driving from NYC to LA and you get a flat in Toledo, you don't go back to NYC and start over. You fix the flat and keep going. If you fall off the wagon, you use tools you've learned and keep on going. There's no shame in failing. We're all humans.
Anyway, enough of my yacking.
Stuart G
(38,726 posts)Whatever way works for you. Please Don't Give Up...Please..