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kozar

(2,851 posts)
Sat Oct 16, 2021, 01:12 PM Oct 2021

Couple thoughts,

As I pass my year since rehab. 2 thoughts seem to high in my brain a bit lately, and I just wanted to share.

A neighbor ( non rehabbed) said something to me regarding my battle and how he “ might have liked the drunk better, cuz now I seem moody”. I admit, my response was gruff and pointed, and bordered on out of bounds.

He came back bout 45 mins later, and said he was hurt by my reaction and I had no right to react in that manner.

To which I made a point him to him,that I’m wondering if I should have bitten my tongue. I told him there would never been a reaction with out his poorly worded initial action.

My 2nd thought is, I don’t hide my rehab. But I’m wondering if that’s the right move. I feel like all the folks who drink around here( full time in campground in TFG section of Fla) are ready to judge me harsher. Reminds me what one of my old coaches told me a long time ago “ avoid folks who hold you to a higher standard than they do themselves “

Interested in some long timers thoughts. Am I over reacting? Still a lot rawer than I realize?

Thanks for reading
Koz

7 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Couple thoughts, (Original Post) kozar Oct 2021 OP
The neighbor can take a flying leap off a short pier Sherman A1 Oct 2021 #1
Hi K! SheltieLover Oct 2021 #2
This message was self-deleted by its author Irish_Dem Oct 2021 #3
I agree with the others here. My experience is this: Bristlecone Oct 2021 #4
Simply, the guy is an asshole. 3Hotdogs Oct 2021 #5
🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼 irisblue Oct 2021 #6
Thanks for kozar Oct 2021 #7

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
1. The neighbor can take a flying leap off a short pier
Sat Oct 16, 2021, 01:22 PM
Oct 2021

I would not worry one bit about his feelings, he certainly didn’t worry about yours .

SheltieLover

(59,610 posts)
2. Hi K!
Sat Oct 16, 2021, 01:36 PM
Oct 2021

Sounds as if you taking steps to overcome your issue is making your neighbor uncomfortable...with himself!

Keep up the great work!

Response to kozar (Original post)

Bristlecone

(10,489 posts)
4. I agree with the others here. My experience is this:
Sat Oct 16, 2021, 02:41 PM
Oct 2021

Getting sober and eventually clear-headed led me to realize that my behavior was a problem (and sometimes still is even sober). If I am out of line, I try to make it right as soon as possible. I apologize or I try to do something “right” to counter my wrong.

But I also have to realize that people may wrong me, or hurt my feelings. But rather than act out(which puts me into the shit with them and creates a shit circle - just like drinking, drugging, etc), I tell them so and let them clean up their own mess. And not in a condescending or preachy way if I can help it.

I keep my side of the street as clean as possible and encourage and hope others do the same.

Doesn’t always work out, but it does mostly.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your sobriety. If you feel bad about what you said and as you say “ it was out of bounds,” tell your friend so and they will probably respect you for it and see that your sobriety gave you strength. Cause the old you probably would have not had that courage. They also will likely not make you feel that way again around the topic.

My 2 cents. Congrats on a year. It gets better every day

kozar

(2,851 posts)
7. Thanks for
Sun Oct 17, 2021, 06:42 AM
Oct 2021

All the insights. Yes, working on communication skills is a priority. Mrs K and I have been focused on this since rehab. Perhaps I should be more aware as one posted here, and take that effort outside my close support group.
Points are taken. Ty all for sharing.


Koz

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