Damn it all to hell!
I just found out that my niece, 5 1/2 months pregnant, has been doing
cocaine and drinking hard alcohol during her pregnancy.
WTF????????? Is wrong with people?
My sister ran into her in a shit hole scum bar, HIGH as a kite.
Her new husband confessed to my sister what had been going on.
In them mean time, my parents, 82 yo, have been paying for her OB/GYN
bills, while she KILLS her baby.
My dad just lost his brother-
They are so naive and trusting...
I told my Mom tonight- "If her lips are moving, she is LYING"
because that has been my experience with addicts.
She told my parents, after all this came out on Sunday,
that she had met with a "counselor" from her husband's insurance
plan who told her, ""Not a problem, the cocaine and alcohol use..."
Who wants to bet who the LIAR is here?
I told my parents, who are taking her to the doctor tomorrow that
they need to tell him EVERYTHiNG, in case there is something he can do
to help the baby for the remainder of the pregnancy...
Your thoughts and suggestions are appreciated...
BHN
= new reply since forum marked as read
Short of going with your parents and niece to the doctor to make sure he knows her situation. My heart is breaking for you. Is her husband using as well? I hate to say it but it might be time to bring in social services if that is the case. That's a tough spot to be in. I hope your niece is able to recover and deliver a healthy baby. 
While I was in the hospital there was a baby crying and screaming, the likes I'd never heard. It was horrid.
I asked what was wrong with the baby (2 weeks old). I was told it was a "failure to thrive baby". I didn't quite understand what that meant.
What it meant it the child was suffering from withdrawals as the mother of the child had been using methamphetamine (a "tweaker" as they are called).
Sad reality there.
My advice to you is to stay away from these people. They are what I call users and that is all they know how to do -- use others to support their habits whatever they may be.
You are right to not be an enabler. That only assists in the process of hitting rock bottom IMO.
Take care of yourself in the meantime please and don't let these foolish people ruin your life. They are ruining their own lives and you can just sit back and watch the show I suppose or simply divorce the lot of them (something I strongly suggest).
My parents are the ones I am concerned about, and the baby of course.
My parents are both 82- NO experience with this at all.
Paying all her doctor bills and thinking some how she is telling them the truth.
We all know that is highly unlikely-
I'm really pissed at my sister, who lives there, and is failing to protect them (my parents) from these
nit wits.
I told my mom last night that if the doctor was to be able to help the
unborn child at this point in the pregnancy, then he needed to know EVERYTHING.
I talked to my other niece, her sister, and we both agreed to call the doctor
and tell him what we know- as I think my parents are afraid to.
I think they are just hoping that now that she has been found out-
she will stop doing the drugs and stop drinking.
My poor parents- they have no idea what they have stepped in.
And that poor baby...
I guess my other niece and I are thinking if
we contact the doctor with the truth, maybe he can intervene.
Any one know the law on that?
If we contact the doctor, is he legally responsible to do
what he can to stop her from harming the baby further?
Like call the DCS or police?
I think she should spend the rest of her pregnancy locked up,
for the safety of the child.
BHN
Regardless of what your parents may think, you know you did the right thing.
Let them live on in their fantasy worlds.
It is so common with the old generation -- don't talk about it, pretend everything is JUST FINE DAMINIT.
Keep us posted!!
for you and may your family be blessed.
If they don't, where have they been for the last 80+ years?
They are in denial, that is where they are.
That is part of the whole thing right there.
Back to Step One for them.
As I read through this thread, It truly upsets me, to here how most of you talk about this girl. I agree, she CANNOT be using while she is pregnant. However, if any of you really knew of addiction, the tone of this thread would be very different.
Reading this thread, I had to look at which web site I was on? I thought that somehow I got switched to a different web site. Like Sean Hannity, or that Glen Beck was back on the airwaves again?????? 
5 1/2 months along, and the doctor hasn't figured out that something might be going on? With the blood work that they do? Granted, it can happen, but I would doubt that she is the low bottom scum bag that you describe. And if it is happening, you want to lock her up???? Why? What is that going to do? Other than put a smile on your face? It is obvious that you are very ignorant with it comes to alcoholism and drug addiction. You make your conclusion off of ??? Because it is not an educated response.
If this girl is truly doing what you say? And if you care about the baby, because it is obvious that you don't care about the niece, sounds like you will just throw her to the curb, she needs an intervention, and be sent to treatment. But no, you want to make sure she has charges that will follow her for life? And it sounds like you would be happy about that? 
And your family?
People don't grow up and say, "hum, what do I want to do in life?? Oh, I know, I want to be a junkie, and an alcoholic so I can slowly destroy myself, all those around me, and ooh, and a baby in the womb" Really.........
I know that ACTIVE alcoholics and addicts are a pain in the you know what to deal with. But do you truly know how much pain they are in? And if they are that, then addiction is addiction. A person CAN NOT STOP WITHOUT HELP. Thank goodness that your parents don't have the same attitude as you.
And Ala-non...... that would be a good place to start, although you will be in a big surprise when you learn that Ala-non has nothing to do with the alcoholic in your life. And no, you won't learn new ways of becoming Judge, Jury and Executioner.
And to the response from the NICU nurse...... you know damn well that there are protocols in place with a addicted infant, to allow for the infant to receive medications that won't let them go through all those withdrawals.
So, if you are truly open to suggestions, and not just niece bashing, then here:
Reach out to her, quit being so judgmental, although you may have already ruined any ability you had at getting a connection with your niece, you may have to allow someone else to do this. Do an intervention on her. Get her into treatment.
Boy what a surprise it would be to look into the future and see that you niece and her child are well adjusted, productive citizens in the community. Thanks to a loving family who did a intervention. Lets hope the current charges that you are gleaming at doing will be dropped, if she goes to treatment now.
If you wonder how I can say all this...... your niece...... that was me in my late teens, early 20's. Since, I have had a very successful 22 year career as a critical care nurse, and ALL my children are doing super! Thank you to my family, whom truly loved me and knew that I had potential. That took the risk of making me mad, and feared that I would run, I say, thank you for being there. After all isn't that what family is all about? 
“Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover.”
― Craig Ferguson, American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot
She was born about a month ago- severely under weight and addicted to methadone.
The DCS had taken over at this point and discovered she had been doing MASSIVE
quantities of cocaine, among other opiate drugs a week up until the baby was born.
My niece just missed going straight to jail because the methadone was the only drug that showed up
in the babies blood, and it had been physician ordered.
She has screamed in agony from the withdrawal medically supervised and DCS set up
a wonderful family meeting that included call in lines for out of state family members
to join in the intervention discussion- the lady handling the case is a whiz- truly.
Well after about two hours, the father said, I want to go to rehab- right now!
Everyone was thrilled...after a few of the usual excuses as to why my niece couldn't go,
she too, agreed to go.
The case worker immediately began setting up intakes for both of them that and it
appeared to be a done deal.
It was explained to my niece that this move was the BEST way to assure she could
get custody of the baby later, when she was well enough to take care of the child.
Well, every one went out to the parking lot, ready to help the couple get over to
the rehabs that had agreed to take them. The young father got in the car with my niece
who promptly raced out of the parking lot leaving everyone standing there with their jaws
on the ground. The couple returned to their apartment, turned off their phones and
refused to answer the door.
At this point, the DCS case manager started the legal motion for my sister to
be given custody.
She signed the papers Thursday and we are all thrilled.
I don't think my niece actually wants the baby; she would interfere with her lifestyle.
So my sister and everyone else is THRILLED that it worked out this way.
My sister never married, always wanted a child, has a good job, a beautiful home
and an amazing support system of friends and family, myself included.
The baby is still hospitalized and will remain so for at least three more weeks.
In the meantime, there is a beautiful nursery being put together at my sister's house,
I just bought a ton of BEAUTIFUL, like new, clothes and shoes etc at a local consignment shop...that I will be mailing tomorrow.
I have talked to my niece and told her I pray she doesn't wake up in ten years and realize what
she lost, but maybe that will be the very thing that provides her "moment of clarity" and sets her
on a road to recovery.
The couple will be allowed 1 hour visits, once a week, supervised and that is all until a
judge says otherwise.
I am so happy for my sister, and weep for my niece.
You see she lost another child ten years ago to the system; at least this one
will be staying in our family in a loving home.
My sister is SO in love with the baby, who she rocks for hours and hours, even after
working 10 hour days.
The baby recognizes her voice and they have bonded.
I can't wait to go out and help!
I miss having a baby since mine is all grown up.
Just wanted to update every one and thank you again for helping me walk this
journey. I know I was never alone and that is why I love my DU family too.
BHN
