How do you handle this time of year?

[bif]

What do you do to stay clean/sober over the holidays?

[vlyons]

1. Well I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself

I used to be a heavy whiskey drinker. But that habit just fell away from me. Good thing too, because when I stopped heavy drinking, I stopped having grand mal seizures. Yike! I never swant to have one of those again! This morning while out shopping, the thought occurred to get a 5th of bourbon at this great liquor store, but I let the thought pass.

I'm a Buddhist, and I meditate every day. For about 15 years, I worked on my anger, its causes, its harm to others, and how to rise above anger. Now I meditate on emptiness, impermanence, and loving kindness towards others. I'm still an annoying asshole at times, and after 45 years of meditation, I consider myself still a beginner.

I'm not a Christian, I'm a Buddhist, but I can still enjoy the season's traditions without buying into the dogma. Jesus wasn't born in the winter, he was born in the Spring. We know this because the New Testament tells us "There were shepards in the fields, watching their flocks by night." Wrong. Sheep in winter are penned up somewhere eating hay. There's no green grass in the fields in winter. Having been an alpaca rancher with 50 acres of pasture, and I can assure you there's not much to forage in the fields in winter. But You can verify this for yourself by going outside and looking at your front yard. In 325 AD Pope Julius 1st decreed that henceforth, Christmas would be celebrated on Dec 25. This was to undermine the pagan celebrations of winter solstice, especially Roman Saturnalia. But that's OK, winter Christmas is not a problem for me. I mention all this to point out not to take the dogma too seriously. Just enjoy the festivities. Enjoy seeing happy people.

What else I do is tune in my local all classical FM radio station, and listen to great Christmas music. I also bake cookies, and maybe some pies, and sweet rolls.

I can recommend a great non-alcoholic festiive drink, sparking apple cider. Looks like champaign, but it's just bubbly apple cider. It's also a lot cheaper than champaign.

Cheers and Merry Christmas!

I'm 73 and most of my relatives and friends are dead, or holed up at home to avoid getting Covid. But even so, I got a few Christmas cards out. Yesterday, I left a big box of groceries on my cousin's doorstep. She and her partner got Covid, but are recovering. But I really enjoyed getting them a Christmas gift of fruit & veggies, and good bread, kefir, some muffins. I had the pleasure of giving a Christmas gift.

So if you want to be happy, try doing something nice for someone with no expectation of getting anything back.

May all beings know the joy of appreciating the success, happiness, and well-being of others.

[3Hotdogs]

3. Adding to your second paragraph.... emotions that lead to drinking , drugs, gambling....

You mention anger. We need to stop and ask ourselves what/who we are angry about. Just identifying and recognizing that some of it is old and needs to be "put away." Other anger is about something that is still happening. Can we do anything about it? Getting even isn't probably going to get is anywhere.

Example: We are all pissed off at Trump. Carrying it with us doesn't get us anywhere.

Sad: Sad for how our lives turned out? Sad because of loneliness? Take time to think about these things. Think about the... maybe even write about them. What caused them? When do I most experience these feelings? 'm sure we can think of other sub-categories to the theme.


Then, as posted above, take the feelings away from yourself and onto somewhere else.... doing something for someone.

If that doesn't work, volunteer at an animal shelter. There are dogs and cats that need a walk or to be pet. And GUESS WHAT? They will appreciate you for who you are. I met a guy on a hike in the woods. A dog was attached to him and the dog clearly wanted to meet all the people on the trail.

"He's a rescue dog. I take him out every day because he likes to hike and maybe someone on the trail will want to adapt him. "

I hope this helps.

[vlyons]

4. There is such a thing as righteous anger

That is the anger that arises in response to some great injustice. E.G. I got pretty angry, when I learned that Trump was kidnapping little migrant kids and locking them in cages. In Buddhism, we are taught to use the energy of that anger to DO SOMETHING to rectify and improve the situation.

[BlueTexasMan]

2. Stay the path

When the desire to engage with whatever the substance is that is troubling you, turn away from the thought and center yourself on your core of peace. (If you don't have one, imagine you do and fake it!) Rest there and then engage in something else leaving the other thought behind. Rinse and repeat. For me it took about a week before I noticed a difference in my state of mind. This works, it's like pushing a reset button. A wise Apache once told me, "Center yourself on the Great Spirit within yourself." I had no idea where this was, so I just decided it was the place I prayed from. If you don't pray, no matter, just imagine a silent place within yourself and use that. The process is not literal, it's just a method of training that gets easier the more you do it. Good luck to you and be proud you had the courage to reach out! Hippy Holidaze and a great new year!