Should I feel guilty about not going sailing?

[bif]

Here's the deal. My son-in-law's dad owns a sailboat and invited us out for a sail tomorrow night. There will only be six of us but I've told my wife I might pass. Two reasons: The whole Covid thing is my main excuse. He's been on several trips lately, and while he's a very cautious person, he has been on several planes. So I can say that's why I'm not going.

The real reason is the drinking. They don't get carried away, but in the past, I used to drink on the sail. Now that I've been sober for over a year and a half, I try to avoid some situations. It's not that I'll sneak a drink, but I just will feel a bit uncomfortable the whole time. My wife still drinks, and when we have my daughters over for dinner, everyone drinks. I'm okay with that. I've learned a lot from SMART meetings, which I attend regularly.

So I'm probably going to play the Covid card as my excuse for not going. Any thoughts?

[enough]

1. No need to feel guilty for not participating in any social event that you don't want to do.

What’s to feel guilty about? It’s not an obligation.

[Squinch]

2. Recovery aside, I think it would be foolish to get on a boat with 6 other people unless it has

seating space for 36 feet.

(I grew up on sailboats. A 36 foot boat has reasonably about 10 linear feet of cockpit space, if that. Two people can distance. Not more.)

I wouldn't do it. And if it will make you uncomfortable, all the more reason.

[Ferrets are Cool]

3. The covid excuse is more than enough. nt

[c-rational]

4. You have a good tack (pun intended), and don't feel guilty or have regrets. They just drain positive

energy away.

[progree]

5. Daily new Covid infections is going up and up. A couple days ago U.S. was 2.11 times

what it was 3 weeks before, and 45% above the first wave peak in April.

Where I live, Minnesota, the latest number is up 36% from the recent low.

That INCREASING and ACCELERATING infection rate has made me shut myself back in. I was going to get out a little more but I look at the Minnesota curves and decide nah. It's perfectly OK to be a poop-dee-poo during a raging pandemic.

Instead, send him some horror links of what it's like to be a Covid patient on a ventilator. Or say someone you are taking care of or live with or whatever is a very vulnerable person and you don't want to risk infecting him/her/them. If that person is a RWer, ask why people in the White House West Wing (except Trump) are required to wear masks, per a May 11 White House management office memo. If its such a hoax or for wimps or whatever.

[Rhiannon12866]

6. Anything that keeps you safe - and sober - is more than good enough.

And for some reason, folks on boats tend to drink. I remember at an early AA meeting, a woman was talking about getting together with some friends on a boat, think it may have been some sort of reunion. I was pretty new, but lots of people warned her not to go since she was putting herself in a situation where she couldn't just walk away if she needed to. But she went anyway and it turned out that she relapsed. I saw her after that so she did start all over again, but the guilt and shame she felt was hardly worth it. I always try to err on the side of caution and I remember that it's important to always have an escape route. You're doing the right thing.

[bif]

10. Funny you mention that.

The first word out of a boater's mouth when you meet him/her is "Wannabeer?"

[Midnight Writer]

7. You need to take care of yourself first. Not catching Covid and not relapsing are top priorities.

Sailing is fun, but it is not a priority.

[Ampulae]

8. No Guilt

I'll be 28yrs sober in 3 weeks and I believe your thinking is exactly right. Feeling ok and comfy yourself is all the excuse you need not to go. It's why if I'm invited to an event where there will be drinking I always drive so I can leave if I get uncomfortable. In this case I wouldn't be able to do that, so I'd think long and hard about it. It's not that I'll drink or wish to. I just don't sit in uncomfortable situations. Easy Does It.

[bif]

11. When you're out in the middle of a lake...

There is no escape route. Like you, it's not that I'll drink, it's just that I won't be totally comfortable the whole time. My wife' is pretty understanding.

[flotsam]

9. Tell your wife it is a recovery thing...

plus all the rest. For all of your life you will be balancing decisions-that's the thing a lot of us could not do in the past. And look closely into yourself-realize that to do your best you must send her off to the boat with gratitude in your heart that she will enjoy it. They said sobriety is good-they never said it was easy.

[bif]

12. I ended up not going

Worked out just fine. I just have to set boundaries and stick to my guns. She had a good time, and I had a relaxing evening.

[Stuart G]

13. Great News....BOUNDRIES.. great word...They are not easy to set.

..Thanks for your courage and resilience...