"It's not the meetings you make, it's the Steps you take"

[NMDemDist2]

I had the honor of speaking to a group of newcomers Friday night, and I used that phrase a few times. My experience is that it's the actions I've taken in the Program that have allowed me years of sobriety and this life I am grateful for daily. While my meeting attendance has varied a lot based on what was going on the 'real world' I have consistently worked the steps on a daily basis.

so.... is it the meetings you make or the steps you take??

Discuss

[Old Codger]

1. Originally

when I first got sober, they told me to make 100 meetings in 100 days, since I was actually unemployable at the time anyways I went to more like 150 0r more in that time frame and it definitely was the meetings at that time because that is what I needed most. I was not in any condition to really take many of the steps. Since those days I have found that working your program at all times is what is important whether it be steps or meetings you do whatever you need to do to maintain your sobriety. For the last few years it has been mainly steps for me, not a lot of meetings but do make them when necessary, sometimes when I feel a need but mostly I try to go before I feel the need for one, by doing so I rarely feel the need for one.
So the best answer I can come up with to the question it is really both acts used in a balance that works for your program

[tavalon]

3. Working the program is a better answer for me and more complete

I'm reading about recovery, I'm meditating about recovery, journaling, going to meetings, helping others, taking my own inventory, doing the steps...... I suppose each could find it's subcategory under those two but that would take time for me to figure out, time I could be using to work my program.

[tavalon]

2. It's both for me

I need the meetings to help me refocus, not as much about the drug addict anymore, but about the codependent way I interact with those I am in relationship with. Doing the steps, deliberately and in the moment, are the things that keep me "sober" between the booster shots of the meetings.

[tavalon]

8. Yep, still the same answer

I catch myself quite a few times a day starting to do Codie behaviors and I choose otherwise. It's hard, because it isn't second nature. Hopefully, one day it will be.

[care4sober]

4. Meetings and steps go hand in hand

I think it is both. The meetings you take will show your decisiveness to recover and the steps you take reveal your seriousness in putting your knowledge into actions.

[Rhiannon12866]

5. Agreed, care4sober!

Welcome to DU! We're glad to have you with us!

[demosincebirth]

6. I was told, 90 meeting in 90days, no excuses. Just go and listen. If you're still sober after that

you can start on the steps. Hopefully your mind will be a little clearer and have sense of direction. I was told years ago "take the cotton out of you ears and put it in you mouth." That was what I needed to hear.

[Rhiannon12866]

7. I did that, too

Took me that long and lots of different meetings to learn what it was all about. It was when I finally got "One Day at a Time," that I learned how to stay sober.

And the woman who said the same thing to me, early on, hurt my feelings. However, we're celebrating together next month. I'll have three years and she'll have 39!

[tavalon]

9. Next month is this month!

Congratulations!

[Rhiannon12866]

10. Thank you so much!

I believe we'll be celebrating on the 26th and my date is the 30th, but if I can't make it through four more days, then I haven't learned much, LOL.

[JayhawkSD]

11. A guy I sponsored years ago went to meeting every single day.

Sometimes twice a day. I could not get him to do a fourth step. He died drunk in a car crash.

How many times does the Big Book talk about "going to meetings?" How much does it talk about the steps?

My first sponsor said to me, "I don't want you to learn how to handle your drinking problem. I want you to become a person who does not have a drinking problem." Recovery is about becoming a different person, and going to meetings will not do that. The steps will do that.

Meetings are good. They are a huge help in performing the steps. It may even not be possible, for some people, to perform the steps at any meaningful level without going to meetings. But meetings, purely for the sake of meetings are totally insufficient.

[tavalon]

12. I just wanted you to know that I read this, a couple months after you wrote it

but it's powerful and I didn't want you to feel it went into the great void. I'm sorry your sponsee chose as he did. You added to this conversation. Thank you.

[monkeyofstick]

13. meetings and steps

With me it is a combination.
I have done the steps over and over,but truly,if no one can see the improvement in me,then it is normally time for a surrender.
I know that I am lucky enough to live in an area with lots of NA meetings,besides the ones that I make online.
But I do sponsor folks that live in countries were NA is new and they can't make many.
So I do try to get them to stay clean and watch how they live.