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[Grasswire2]

This message was self-deleted by its author (Grasswire2) on Fri Aug 25, 2023, 12:31 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[onecaliberal]

1. Hugs. I have an adult disabled son. I really feel for you.

So cruel.

[MutantAndProud]

2. Sounds highly inappropriate and possibly illegal

Also, I’m hoping you can get more than digital hugs (not that I wouldn’t offer one as well, but generally, I’ve found DU to be far far less helpful than it used to be years ago… almost like it’s a subset of its former self being run by a much more limited community)

[Grasswire2]

4. thank you

I was kinda hoping that someone here might work in that kind of environment and provide some insight before I start taking some action.

Adult protective services will allow me to file a complaint against older daughter, if I really want to go there. It would destroy her career. I don't want to damage her. I just want my disabled daughter to be happy, safe, and IN CONTACT with me.

[MutantAndProud]

9. She made her choice

My sister has tried something like that recently, I think my whole family has been in on it and keeping a lid on the fact that they’ve been profiting off of a conservatorship

[elleng]

3. Sounds like a few violations of something(s) occurred,

none of which should be shared.

SO SORRY.

[Grasswire2]

5. thanks Ellen. nt

[hedda_foil]

6. Something is very wrong. Get an attorney TOMORROW MORNING!

I hate to even think it but your daughter may somehow have managed to have you declared incompetent, when you are very obviously anything but. All these discussions should have been with you, not your kids alone. Please find a good attorney right away to advise you, GW.

[rubbersole]

16. Great advice.

If you can afford a reputable elderly law attorney please don't hesitate. It might take weeks to get an appointment. Bless you and good luck.

[Grasswire2]

17. can't afford an attorney

But I do have a plan. I am not powerless. I don't want to go into too much detail, but my neighbor, a very good person, is an attorney and also the mayor of the city. She is not officially advising me, that would be wrong. But we are talking. And she knows us as neighbors and is fond of my dd daughter.

I appreciate the validation of DU people here.

Being quiet and letting this go would be morally wrong.

[MLAA]

7. I'm so sorry to hear this.

Are you your disabled daughter’s legal guardian? If you can manage it, it sounds like it is time to hire a lawyer even if just for reliable advice on next steps for you. 💗💕

Another thought: If you have any way of getting in touch with the daughter that took your disabled daughter away I’d pass the word that you are changing your will until your disabled daughter is returned. Then your decision if you ever change it back if your daughter is returned. Sorry if this thought is too extreme for you. But sounds like your kidnapping daughter is motivated by $$ since she wants her sister for free housekeeping etc.

[Grasswire2]

8. You know, it NEVER crossed my mind in our lives together...

...to become her legal guardian.

Yeah, I'm thinking that now. But who would ever have thought that my older daughter would lose her stability in terms of mental health and do any such thing? She is an ordained minister. She is also an authoritarian, and there is a pattern of this kind of cutting people out and emotional abuse. Very sad to see this.

As you can see, if I were to file a complaint against her action with Protective Services, it could destroy her career.

[MutantAndProud]

10. Don't accept the abuse, she forfeited her career already

[Grasswire2]

13. well, this is nuts...

She was just celebrated by her denomination for publishing of a sermon on resisting the coming fascism in America. Just at the same time!

Her theme in the sermon, about our resistance to fascism: "The cruelty is the point."

Unreal. When I told a few friends about what had happened, they were shocked -- said it was just breath-takingly cruel. Absolutely cruel.

I've shed a million tears. Not just because I miss my dd daughter and worry about her, but also because the older daughter's treatment of us has revealed someone I feel I don't know, and who I should fear.

[MutantAndProud]

15. Sounds like she repurposed that phrase quite deftly

That’s corruption plain and simple

[MLAA]

11. Sounds like you have some leverage by letting her know that if your daughter isn't returned asap

you will be calling her employer. I think it’s time to worry more about your disabled daughter being misused than you other daughter’s career.

💕💗💕💗

[Grasswire2]

12. THANK YOU for using the word "kidnapping"

That's de facto what it was.

As I was coming home from the facility, the two daughters were here in the apartment, ransacking the bedroom for stuff they wanted. Oddly, they left all her best clothes, winter coats, Calvin Klein shoes, etc., and took my piano keyboard and other odd things. Very peculiar, as if the older daughter just sort of lost her senses. They left a mess. I took pictures.

I do not have contact with the older daughter either. Everything shut down in terms of communication.

I sent the dd daughter a box of good chocolates for her birthday a month later. It was refused delivery. Crazy.

[people]

19. Call CANHR

I do not know what state you are in but in CA there is a non-profit call California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform. They have a lawyer referral service at this phone no.: 415-974-5171. They may be able to connect you with a similar service in your state. Good luck. This all sounds very bad.

[diva77]

20. I know that mediation is less costly than going through the legal system.

I have never used it, so I am not recommending it . Maybe someone else can weigh in on this approach to finding a solution.

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/mediation-six-stages-30252.html

So very sorry about your situation. Sending good vibes your way.

[marble falls]

21. What does your lawyer say?