Straw poll about unwanted advances in public places

[Starry Messenger]

This thread has me curious now about the prevalence of unsought public contact that can turn into unwanted sexual harassment. http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021503167 I'm looking for a survey of experiences here.

7 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	I am female and I have experienced public sexual harrassment one or more times by a stranger (male)
	6 (86%)
	I am male and I have experienced public sexual harrassment one or more times by a stranger (male)
	0 (0%)
	I am female and I have experienced public sexual harrassment one or more times by a stranger (female)
	0 (0%)
	I am male and I have experienced public sexual harrassment one or more times by a stranger (female)
	1 (14%)
	Other, please explain in the thread if you can.
	0 (0%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[obamanut2012]

1. I can say that sometimes it has been just unwanted attention, period

Creepy, sexual, or whatever. I have been propositioned crudely quite a few times, and guess what? rarely in a club or bar.

[Starry Messenger]

2. I've had several really disgusting experiences out in public.

Stuff I'm not even comfortable discussing on DU. I'm curious to see what other people's experiences have been too, thank you! Rarely out in a bar or club for me too.

[Jamastiene]

11. For me, it was mostly in clubs and bars here in town.

I used to play in bands a lot here in town. Before shows, we really didn't have dressing rooms, so we were out in the crowd. There was always some sweaty guy with a comb-over and a used-to-be-white undershirt that had turned yellow (and brown in some places too) who would hold his beer glass over his head yell, "Play some Skynyrd!" He'd spill beer everywhere and fall toward me and make some crude sexual comment, as if that would win me over even if I was a straight woman. It just gagged me. I thought about quitting music, at least in public, over it. I think my eventual decision to quit playing in bands was at least partly because of that.

The only time I ever really felt respected in a bar was when I went to a bar in upstate NY to see the producer of my band's demo's band play. Those guys were great and their fans were great. There were just as many women at the club as men and the men there respected women and you could tell it. Down here where I live, though? Pfft. I'd rather get a tooth pulled with no numbing agent than set foot in another bar here.

There have been other experiences outside bars and clubs too, but I did have trouble in the bars and clubs more just because I was in them back then so much. Nowadays, I hardly ever go to a bar unless it is a gay friendly or gay bar.

[Starry Messenger]

16. :(

Going to shows should be the place where you don't have to feel like you need to keep your shields up.

[rrneck]

3. Other.

I am male and could vote for all options that would apply. I have also been sexually harassed at work by both women and men.

[Starry Messenger]

9. Good use of the the Other option, thanks for the response inthread too.

[FloridaJudy]

4. I alerted on one post in that thread.

Jury left it 3-3. I still think it's uber-creepy.

[GObamaGO]

5. A few people in that thread

need to grow a little compassion and consideration for their fellow travelers and realize that there truly is such a thing as male privilege.

[Starry Messenger]

17. Lots of posts in that thread make me glad none of those posters live near me.

I never hear stuff in real life that I hear on DU.

[obamanut2012]

19. This

[Gormy Cuss]

6. That anecdote sounds like my own reaction to similar casual contact.

On the surface it's an utterly benign greeting but the follow up question is a tip-off. The person wants something. I've lived in big cities long enough to have experienced this more times than I can count. Still, I always say hi to people who greet me. Most people are just being friendly. The ones who aren't however get an appropriate response -- usually a glare.

[obamanut2012]

7. I always just give a nod

[Neoma]

8. I usually just get comments about the color of my hair, and the shape of my glasses.

I also walk around with headphones on, so I end up ignoring a lot of people while listening to 60s French pop music. I'm not going out of my way to listen to jerks in other words. There's other perfectly valid ways to waste my time.

[obamanut2012]

12. I walk around with earbuds in a lot, too

And always have the music low enough to hear people talking to me, but they don't know that.

[Neoma]

14. Ear buds get on my nerves.

I went for the ones that'll keep my ears from freezing in the winter. Plus the knob to control the volume is on the side of my head, which is pretty cool in my book.

My husband says I talk a lot louder with them on. Which I think is a good thing considering how soft I usually speak. And I kind of hate that I speak so low. I mean, I've been in support groups before and every time there is someone hard of hearing, they drop out. You can't ask a bunch of depressed people with low self esteem to talk louder.

[Jamastiene]

10. A ridiculous amount of times.

And it is always the most disgusting acting creep imaginable...like that "French model" in that commercial where the guy says bawn jure, instead of bon jour...

[LaurenG]

15. Yes it used to happen all the time and it scared me a lot.

Over the last 10 years it has become less problematic.

[Starry Messenger]

18. I was late getting a driver's license.

Public transit for everything. After I started driving it stopped almost immediately.

[Catherina]

20. Other: There must be something wrong with me

There must really be something wrong with me because I've never experienced it but I've had to deal, in a supportive way, with many friends who were, including a sister who went through something dreadful.

Talking about harassment, I have a post that's going to enrage everyone here and have you in tears. I cried for hours after learning about this.

[Iris]

21. Shouldn't you be allowed to vote twice in this one?

Being sexually harassed in public by a man doesn't preclude also having been harassed by a woman.

[Starry Messenger]

22. I included "Other" to try to cover different situations.

I don't think I said one precluded the other.

[stevenleser]

23. Both.

I've had unwanted advances by men and women.

[TBF]

24. When I was younger definitely - the whistling and propositions

that kind of thing. I'd be out running and guys would yell out of their windows or whatever. Totally inappropriate.

Now I'm older, with kids, and it's completely different when you are in your 40s and obviously a little heavier, not as young looking. I am in Texas so the men will run ahead to open doors etc. It is not ideal that women are viewed as something to be taken care of - but I've got to say it is better to be viewed as a "mom" than as the object of their immediate lust.

[Starry Messenger]

25. I'm enjoying growing older too.

I feel like I can be friendly but not have to worry as much about boundary-slaying personal crap that just seems to pop out of some guys like sex-Tourettes.

[Batman bin Suparman]

26. 81% of women have experienced sexual harassment?

No wonder the Dworkin-types flock to DU

[Starry Messenger]

27. Thank you MIRT.