Gina Barreca: Women can't win by fighting among themselves

[maddezmom]

If you’d told me 30 years ago that women would be arguing over who was a “real feminist,” my response would have been to point and giggle. Until very recently (roughly 11 minutes ago), “feminist” was something no lady would call herself in public.

Lots of young women avoid the “f” word. I’ve had female students trip all over themselves to avoid using it: “I’m getting a doctoral fellowship from NASA after I complete my NEA grant although I hope it’s the work I did for girls in Tanzania during my Peace Corps stint that’ll be my legacy. But gosh! No, I’m not a feminist. I like using perfume and hope to get married one day.”

I’ve argued that feminism is the belief that women are human beings. I simply assume everybody I meet — men and women alike — are feminists because I give people the benefit of the doubt. You’re using cutlery? You don’t wear T-shirts saying “Men: no shirt, no service; Women: no shirt, free drinks!”? You don’t think women are just a man’s way of making more men? Then, honey, you’re a feminist.

It’s my version of feminism, which is sort of like a hip nun’s vision of Catholicism — affirming to all and not guided by rule books or doctrinal declarations — that makes me uncertain whether to applaud or denounce the ruckus going on between what is most neatly called The Atlantic Monthly’s “Stay-at-Home-Moms-are-Wrecking-Women’s-Economic-Platforms-FOREVER” article by Elizabeth Wurtzel and the approximately 17 million stay-at-home moms who have responded by blogging, posting, vlogging and ritually burning their copies of “Prozac Nation,” Wurtzel’s bestseller from 1994.

more: http://www.tallahassee.com/article/20120702/OPINION/307020029/Gina-Barreca-Women-can-t-win-by-fighting-among-themselves?odyssey=nav%7Chead

[Neoma]

1. I'll tell you 1-2 things here...

The whole, "Women can't get along." Is a stereotype, and I have no doubt that there are people that try to separate women with ageism on purpose to prove that it's true.

Because of the little rights we've gained over the years, feminism is kind of tossed over on the side. "Oh, but we've already fixed that, we don't need it anymore." I looked at a magazine shelf yesterday. Every woman on the cover was posted as models (I'm not sure I count Oprah,) and obviously they target women to buy them. "Learn how to lose weight!" "Is she pregnant?" "Top Ten Sex Tips." Not only do they constantly point out your flaws and how you're fat, but they almost state in it's own little way that all women should get pregnant in sometime of their lives. No magazines for women about politics? Art? Reading? Philosophy? You'll be hard pressed to find them.

I'll also state, that men are huge victims of this as well. Some expect impossible standards of women, and they're somehow supposed to be pure muscles with a hairless chest. Steroid abuse galore. Also, most all men are in some way, on magazine covers they're shown to be in positions of power. Even if they're not really attractive. While at the same time, generally on TV, women with power are always shown to be beauty queen beautiful. Just give a beautiful chick a sword, and you have a powerful woman! Hey, look over there! Powerful beauty, with arrows! Look over here! Powerful beauty with a vampire stake. On magazines though, there's usually just blondes with boobs staring at you. Here's an example of that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm okay with sex, I think it's natural. But there's a pattern of behavior against women within the media and they're using sex appeal as a type of weapon.

Whew! Didn't mean to go on like that.

[yardwork]

2. "I'm not a feminist but...." is one of my pet peeves.

I always respond by smiling brightly and saying, "I'm a feminist!"

[mizzuz pibb]

3. Newsflash:

Men are human beings, too. I am a humanist. I don't look at genitalia to figure out how to treat someone.

[maddezmom]

4. thanks for the comment

sorry for the pizza.

[DevonRex]

5. I like this thread.

Just thought I'd stop in and say hello. I've never been an activist in feminism, except for always working in men's jobs and doing it successfully. Surprised the hell out of myself and my family too. So, in that way I was active.

I only wish it had made things easier for the women who came after me. It didn't. They still face the same adversity I did. Perhaps less shock that a woman can more than hold her own, but that's about it.

So hello everyone and thanks yardie for the invitation!