Feminists
Related: About this forumPregnancy in Entertainment
Is Drew Barrymore pregnant? *Gasps!* Oh my god, it would effect my life to know this! Let me know about Jennifer Aniston's stomach bump! Let's obsess about possible pregnant women we honestly shouldn't care about. Even if these women have all ready been through pregnancy, let's start rumors again!Sure, we all like juicy gossip to a certain extent. But this depiction of women has been rehashed to death. If you think about it, it gives the message of: if they're not pregnant, watch out! She might be soon! As though they are ticking bombs going to explode at any minute. Let me state: I really think that I don't care for the entertainment industry. Problem is, it effects you and the society around you. Who in the United States, hasn't heard about any of these series/trilogies: Spiderman, Shrek, Back to the Future, Star Wars, The Matrix, Harry Potter or the Lord of the Rings. If you have heard of movies, you're very likely to have seen at least one, even if it's not listed above.
Women who are married are asked if they want kids, even by strangers. When I gained weight, a friend of mine asked twice if I was pregnant and said, "Oh that's a shame." When I said no both times. So, I have peer pressure by even my female friends. It can also affect whether or not you get a job if everyone around considers this an issue. Though, no one comes right out and says it (usually.) How does this affect women who do not want to get pregnant, who can't get pregnant? My attitude thus far as been, oh look! People who want to have what I can't have or don't wanna have. Repeat this reaction a few hundred times, and you get sick of it. It's about the same as when I wanted to gain weight and could only find articles on losing weight. It's just not very helpful, and overdone.
mzteris
(16,232 posts)Pregnancy IS Entertainment . . .
and I wondered what you were smoking!
HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)Do you know how many people, including family, asked when we were going to "try" for a boy. First of all, what is wrong with DAUGHTERS? That is actually what my HUSBAND would say to people. We wanted two, and ONLY two kids. It didn't matter what their gender was, although we BOTH (truth) did actually LIKE having only daughters.
My husband got a vasectomy (agreed upon before our marriage) after our 2nd child was born.
kdmorris
(5,649 posts)Except for the support from/with your husband. My (now ex) husband wanted to keep trying until he got a boy. So I have 3 daughters. After my last daughter was born, I got out of there.
About 16 years after I left him, he (at the at of 42) married an 18 year and had another girl. Luckily, that little girl was removed from the home and put up for adoption. (My daughters have not seen him since 1996 and consider my (current) husband of 14 years their father).
I love having daughters (though having a 17, 15 and 13 year old at the same time led to some interesting days around here!!)
tammywammy
(26,582 posts)They ended up with 5 daughters.
kdmorris
(5,649 posts)mentality. Right after I got married, everyone was asking when we were going to have children (I was 17). It was like... marriage = babies. When I did get pregnant, perfect freaking strangers would walk up to me and touch my stomach and laugh at me when I got offended. That's STILL MY STOMACH...
Everyone acts like babies and babymaking are their business somehow...
gkhouston
(21,642 posts)After the umpteenth, "So you don't have children?" enquiry at parties, her husband affected a tragic look and said, "the state took them."
And the inevitable, "so are you going to have another?" if you do have kids. I got that after my daughter was born. All I could think was, "I'm forty, I've just had two days' worth of labor, and my preemie is still in the hospital. Oh yeah, I'm gonna get knocked up again right now."
REP
(21,691 posts)I realized - fully and truly - at age 9 that motherhood wasn't for me. I've never had doubts, not even for a moment. I have actually been harassed about it at one of my jobs (Do you have kids? No. When are you going to - your time is running out. Never; I don't want any. You don't want any because you can't love anyone besides yourself! You are an evil woman! etc). Strangers have felt compelled to question me on this, especially when I was younger.
When my mother married in 1963, her gyno tried to send her to a shrink because she wasn't pregnant within months of her marriage. (I showed up 14 months later.)
gkhouston
(21,642 posts)Both she and her husband had/have dysfunctional families and thought that it would be a stinkingly bad idea to have kids and pass along their issues. I had another girlfriend, in college, who had hell's own time trying to find a doctor willing to tie her tubes because she was only 19. Some people don't want kids, and I find that self-knowledge to be a laudable thing. As a parent, I see people every day who should never have had children and I wish they'd had more self-awareness.
REP
(21,691 posts)I ended up being on Depo-Provera for years. Not so bad - effective and easy, but not so great for my kidney disease but better than getting pregnant; I have a kidney disease that makes pregnancy a really horrible idea. Yet despite having a disease that no one thinks should be combined with pregnancy, because I was young, nullapara and unmarried - well, if I met the Right Man, I might have want to sacrifice myself trying to have a baby. I guess. Of course, these were the same doctors who told me I couldn't possibly have sleep apnea because I was "too young, too thin and too female" (I have severe mixed apnea). I was told I had fibromyalgia (I don't; I have a weird form of arthritis and kidney disease).
I finally found excellent doctors once I moved to California and I'm sterilized and my apnea is treated
gkhouston
(21,642 posts)I absolutely hate that doctors so often think that women's health issues are imaginary or psychological. I have thyroid disease, and it took years to get a proper diagnosis.
Rex
(65,616 posts)she has Sjögrens Syndrome.
I know what that is because when my ANA came up positive, that's one of the additional tests I had (nope, just a positive ANA, allergy to sunlight and unrelated kidney disease, whew). Hope she's doing well!
Rex
(65,616 posts)her cry...nobody would believe her...yet when I WENT to the doctor, he discovered my illness right away (mom is not a patient of his). So it really made me think WTF.
She is doing well, thanks to medicine.
I can't believe I am the 1 in 10...but that is how life is.
REP
(21,691 posts)I have primary idiopathic FSGS, a renal disease common in older hypertensive Black men. I am white, hypOtensive and female. My prognosis is the same, though Kidney disease all looks the same until the biopsy, but they were rather surprised at the results.
I also have ankylosing spondylitis, another condition more common in men. My form is much milder, though my shoulder and elbows are so destroyed I will be having a lot of surgery soon. Yay?
REP
(21,691 posts)But removing the end of my clavicle will stop the pain (so will repairing the tendons). Replacing the joint on the other side sounds a lot scarier but on days like today, I'm willing to start sawing myself!
Even though I whine A LOT, I do know I'm pretty lucky
Rex
(65,616 posts)You are very strong IMO, shouldn't say that about yourself.
REP
(21,691 posts)I work under the theory that even my itises can't stand the moaning, so maybe they'll leave!
Really, I get mopier around Dr visits, and I just got the "need everything replaced soon" news ... most of the time, I really DO know how lucky I am! I have insurance, I'm married to O- and there are plenty of people who would give anything to trade ailments with me.
You're awfully kind, though!
Rex
(65,616 posts)gkhouston
(21,642 posts)Rex
(65,616 posts)gkhouston
(21,642 posts)disease, it's probably the one to have. It's more like have a lobster clamped onto my foot all the time, instead of a bear trap around my leg.
Is that what it is like?
Yeah, some mornings my white blood cells start feeding on my joints and back all the way down my sciatic nerve and into each and every toe.
I have become good friends with pain.
Mom is in 4 times the pain I experience every day.
She is one reason I embrace feminism.
tammywammy
(26,582 posts)Both my parents understand that I'm neither looking for a marriage (if it happens it happens, but if not that's okay too) and both know I don't particularly want children. Both parents are okay with that. If someone tells me "you'll change your mind" it's not someone I'm close to, like a classmate at college. I just tell them "no, I won't."
REP
(21,691 posts)My brother is CF, too. My (now) husband's parents are not concerned with our lack of reproduction.
When I get told I'll change my mind, I say Alzheimer's doesn't run in my family.
DURHAM D
(32,837 posts)"... I Forgot To Have Children"
I had a t-shirt a long time ago. Think I will order a fridge magnet.
I also have "Why do I have to get married? I haven't done anything wrong!"
(I'm pro equal marriage, but think its an outdated system ... but am married anyway. Long story)
MADem
(135,425 posts)People will PRY, won't they, and shamelessly too--that woman's husband has some seriously good wit.
MADem
(135,425 posts)increase in obesity nationwide. It's a very curious thing.
I've never seen so much "body criticism" in all my years on earth, too. People are very demanding of some sort of impossible standard of perfection, both to one another, and to total strangers, even when their height and weight are proportional and they look entirely healthy.
And while the women have taken the brunt of the abuse and intrusive examination in this regard, the tables are starting to turn with regard to the men as well. Men are being urged to have "abs" -- a "six pack"--otherwise they are viewed as less desirable. It's by no means an equal playing field but it is an interesting shift in attitudes.
And then, on top of all that, there is the Cult of Celebrity. The paparazzi helped feed that beast, the papers print it, the curious public lives vicariously....and there you go.
I found out that some of these celebrities get paid "by the tweet" to sneak in advertisements to their "loyal followers." Talk about a No-Work, No-Show job! The celebrities don't even have to actually compose the tweets! It's all about selling "things"--clothes, fashion accessories, booze, all sorts of consumables--even absurdly priced, thousand dollar baby/toddler outfits. I think that is especially obscene.
And then, there's the whole "no boundaries" thing. People think it's "OK" now to ask anyone about everything and anything, to include that baby bump or that they saw so-and-so going into the dermatologist. Heck, if "Will and Kate" can't have any privacy, why should you, or me, or the couple down the street?
It's a very curious byproduct of modern society, this feeling that anyone can ask anyone about anything and this sense that people have some sort of entitlement to know what is going on in the lives of others. I do think the Cult of Celebrity contributes to all that.
Neoma
(10,039 posts)Chest hair is so 70s.
MADem
(135,425 posts)Everyone is waxing everything, and bleaching parts of the body that were unmentionable back in the day!
As Doctor Smith used to say...
Oooooooooooooh, the pain...the PAIN!!!!
Neoma
(10,039 posts)It's to sexualize the body more. What better way than to show much flesh? Weird culture we're in. So afraid of sex, and totally disapproving of it at the same time. Can't show a nipple! But putting electrical tape on it is just fine.
MADem
(135,425 posts)with it....
Oh well, it might get TSA off our asses when we go through airport security!
I'll tell ya, though, at my age, it won't be a delightful sight; probably closer to punishment! Lucky me that I'll only be affronted when I pass a mirror!
Oooooh, the pain! indeed!!!
gkhouston
(21,642 posts)would be my only clue that I'd passed a mirror.
MADem
(135,425 posts)gkhouston
(21,642 posts)REP
(21,691 posts)I have no idea what either of you look like, but may I respectfully suggest this is the wrong group to make fun of your appearance We all get enough of that shit without doing it to ourselves!
I will now take the stick out of my butt
gkhouston
(21,642 posts)TMI!
REP
(21,691 posts)YET.
gkhouston
(21,642 posts)REP
(21,691 posts)Neoma
(10,039 posts)Even nudists wear clothes sometimes.
gkhouston
(21,642 posts)or are we supposed to think that entertainment figures are the new royalty, and we need to be sure the succession has been secured?
Or am I supposed to think the only thing I could have in common with an entertainment figure is the potential to become pregnant?
Similarly, why should I be invested in the hook-ups and break-ups of people I'm unlikely ever to meet? If I want to read about romance, I'd pick up a bodice-ripper (not likely!), whose characters probably have more dimensions that many entertainment figures display.
and ur bird can sing
(24 posts)Love them but...In any case, I think it's neat when I hear about celebs and people I know who are preggers. I imagine who the kid will take after, etc. It's really not so deep. You are talking more about the societal pressure for a woman to reproduce but once she's knocked up, then it's a whole new ballgame.
Neoma
(10,039 posts)Happens in Wal-greens a lot.