Feminists
Related: About this forumFor young girls, it starts with lip gloss
The other day at Kimara Ahnerts makeup and skin care studio on Madison Avenue, Sloane Kratzman, 12, was sitting in a chair, having blush applied to her cheeks, her legs dangling above the floor. She had been driven in after school from Greenwich, Conn., by her mother, Teresa Kratzman, a longtime friend of Ms. Ahnerts, for her first makeup application lesson.
Shes taken an interest in makeup, so she might as well learn to put it on properly, the elder Ms. Kratzman said. Theres so much out there now.
All my girlfriends are wearing makeup; its the stage, Sloane agreed. She said she reads The Zoe Report, Teen Vogue and Seventeen, and looks up to Blake Lively and Lauren Conrad for beauty tips. Everyone at least has lip gloss, she said. Benefit is the hot brand right now.
A sixth grader, Sloane is part of an emerging demographic: the tween beauty sophisticate who might go to a salon for updos, facials or waxing. Ms. Ahnert, for one, said she has regular 12-year-old clients who have their makeup done before going out to a dinner or to a bat mitzvah.
Defined vaguely as ages 8 to 14,
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/46211124/ns/today-style/#.TyvaA8US1-c
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we have had conversation about this. we have talked about women dressing for men, though studies show, really women dressing for other women. we have talked about wearing make up for men. but thinking about this, and looking at my own experience, reading this article, i think it is more in line that at such a young age, we girls define being a woman in make up and dress. it is our way for grabbing our womanhood, like boys do grabbing their manhood.
it is not about the other gender, or even our own gender, but our self identification.
Ecumenist
(6,086 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)parent said no until 13. kids at 11, 12 snuck it to school, smeared all over face, lol, and wiped off to go home. there is something in rules, breaking rules, yet having the rules.
Ecumenist
(6,086 posts)FULL MAKEUP??!! Are you kidding? I would have been KILLED, (lol), if I wore fully pigmented makeup before not even 18, 20 years old and that's the truth.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)has been getting her toenails and finger nails done professionally (occassionally) and mom always has them done in cutsey ways.
this will be the girl in full make up at 8, thong at 10 (dont want underwear line to show), push up bra at 12.
Ecumenist
(6,086 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Last edited Fri Feb 3, 2012, 09:26 AM - Edit history (1)
AND the father that is not married to mom continually tells her daughter she is a princess, a princess does not clean rooms and he is her prince.
talk about fuckin up a little girl before her time.
Ecumenist
(6,086 posts)for life. the world isn't like that. Bless her heart.
iwillalwayswonderwhy
(2,661 posts)Training. Brainwashing. We're not pretty unless we paint ourselves and wear confiningly painful undergarments. And if we DO"N'T do that, we are disgusting.
no_hypocrisy
(48,813 posts)But waxing?! Mascara? At 12?
When my goddaughter was 9+, I took her for her first manicure and let her select the color of the polish, a shade of red that would make a hooker blush. But it was completely innocent and she didn't develop into a teen obsessed with make-up and diet and clothes. Just the opposite. She went Goth and still used nail polish, only black though.
Ecumenist
(6,086 posts)CrispyQ
(38,269 posts)Neoma
(10,039 posts)I wanted to be goth then though... But I didn't have enough black clothes, so that was short lived.
DonCoquixote
(13,711 posts)given a few more years, Guys will be under as much pressure to wear make up as girls. For reference, read Maxim or men's health.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)but that is what it is sounding like.
fasttense
(17,301 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)that is the upside for me. they have had such humiliating cuts from professionals, they trust me more, lol
iwillalwayswonderwhy
(2,661 posts)They want to sell you something and you need to be convinced that you or your child absolutely need it. If they can get you started at 8 years old, that just lots more sales.
redqueen
(115,164 posts)They're exploiting insecurity. The media helps to foster the sense of insecurity by constantly reinforcing the mantra that what's most important is appearance.
jeff47
(26,549 posts)Probably not paying one's longtime friend. At least, not full price.
VWolf
(3,944 posts)Lots of NYC money in that area - I'm sure there are plenty of parents paying for this that are not longtime friends of Ms. Ahnert.
abelenkpe
(9,933 posts)To cover up teenage blemishes. It began a ritual that took almost an hour every morning of applying makeup I went to college in CA and when the Northridge quake hit lost my apartment, my school (Cal Arts) and had to rough it for several days. I later saw pictures of myself without makeup and realized I don't need that stuff at all. I was free! Since then I only wear sunscreen and lip gloss. Gotta admit though my daughter (5) is fascinated by lip gloss. I hope she realizes she doesn't need to wear a mask of makeup when she is older, but suspect that if her mother tells her that she'll roll her eyes and do it anyway.
WingDinger
(3,690 posts)Yes, and female genital mutilation is almost entirely directed and done by WOMEN. WTF?
Sure, men have manhood rites, and are directed by men. And yes, many of them are to make them look more attractive in that culture. And yes, men compete with each other.
But they arent hobbling techniques.
Women bind their feet. Grow fingernails till they are less capable hands. Apply tints and colors to their faces till they must refrain from many activities. Place bags in their breasts that threaten to leak toxic fluids. strap their other lumps down till it causes VAPORS. Abuse hair, till it becomes brittle, or damaged.
I used to go to a few bars in Long Beach area. A crew of trannies etc would swoop in. With overaccentuated lips, eyelashes, breasts, freak long legs{heals}, kabuki warpaint. The guys would ignore the women they had been chatting up two minutes ago, and like moths to a flame, hit on the faux women. Not knowing they werent women.
I even played with this. I asked one if she would like a drink, while a guy was chatting her up. He wanted to fight.
These triggers for attractiveness, I believe, are chosen by women, as they can be deployed for some time after the real ones fade. It has to play against a womans ego, that men can play dressup, and turn almost every eye to themselves.
I personally like women to use nothing, or thereabouts, as I think they are quite wonderful au natural. I find it tragic that they feel they cannot leave the house without full redo.
CrispyQ
(38,269 posts)I admit it - I love wearing makeup. I loved it when I was young, I love it now.
When I turned 14 I was allowed to get my ears pierced & start wearing eye liner & lip gloss. I loved my little Maybelline cake eyeliner in the little red box that pulled out like a drawer & my Yardley pot-o-gloss. ~heart.
But waxing at 12? Really? Although, maybe if you start young & do it long enough the hair will stop growing back. That would be nice. I've been waxing my legs for about a year now - not as often as I should - but my hair still grows back just as thick as before.
redqueen
(115,164 posts)but I always go back to it. I work at the front desk, so I feel obliged to have a 'front desk appearance'... but I get used to it and then find myself putting on coverup anytime I leave the house. It's maddening. It starts to feel like a necessity when it is anything but.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)not that we do, do it.
redqueen
(115,164 posts)Why should it matter that I or anyone else has blemishes or uneven skin tone? Why are these things deemed so critically important that we have to spend billions a year 'prettying up'? I think about the pollution created by the factories that make this unnecessary goo and how it's really not good for your skin in the first place, so... just wtf?
I personally feel that way way way too much importance is placed on appearance, so I feel like I'm caving to society's stupid superficial bullshit when I go on and hide my imperfections.
Texasgal
(17,154 posts)I guess my mind is so conditioned that I feel like I could never go to work without make-up.
I can go out shopping, running errands without make-up.. but work or an evening out or an event makes me go back to the make-up bag.
I think I am crazy.
xmas74
(29,766 posts)She has nail polish and has had it for a few years. It's mostly for play, though I hope for the added incentive of maybe getting her to stop biting her nails. (Polish doesn't look all that great on nasty nails.)
She is now allowed to wear clear lip gloss to school for the first time. (She's in middle school.) She also has clear mascara that she is allowed to wear only on special occasions. (Her lashes are almost a white-blond and very hard to see. This makes them appear slightly darker and longer without actually adding color or making her look too old for her age.)
Full make up? Absolutely not. Updo? Only if it's something simple I can do at home and she has a school dance. No salon updo will be done. She has pantyhose that she wears to church on Sunday and shoes with a low heel (no tall high heeled shoes-simple but slightly dressier is the what we look for.) And no underwire/push up bras or thong panties.
She wants to wear make up, she wants her hair done, she wants the heels and hose. I think it's just what she thinks of as a part of growing up. Right now I'll allow it in stages.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i have never heard of clear mascara. that is interesting. i have dark lashes so had never thought about it from a blondes perspective
xmas74
(29,766 posts)but it's out there and you can find it at any discount store or pharmacy. It's great for eyebrows too-helps shape them and keep them in place.
Her eyelashes are very light so, for special events she's allowed to wear the mascara. She has big blue eyes and without the mascara she can look almost lashless in certain lights.
In about 18 months I've promised that she'll be allowed to wear a dab of concealer and a bit of translucent powder. She has a scar that has faded quite a bit but is still a wee bit noticeable in certain lights or if she has a tan. We've covered it up in pictures with just a dab and a puff of powder so that's all she'll be allowed. If not for the scar this stage would be a bit later in her development.
I don't want her to grow up too soon, but I don't want to hold her back. It's a tough road.
behold a pale horse
(42 posts)Ironically, it was the bare-face look I saw with teens about 10 years ago that encouraged me to stop wearing makeup. I found that I actually looked better, plus my face cleared up! (I used to wear hypoallergenic foundation--yeah right!).
Texasgal
(17,154 posts)My grandmother bought me and my best friend a class at a major department store.
The class was how to apply make-up, how to dress "lady-like", posture....cleanliness. Etc.
They showed us how to shave our legs and when I came home to tell my mom she had a FIT! She told me NOT to shave my legs that I was too young! She almost pulled me out of the class and refused to buy me razors!
I didn't realize until many years later what she was trying to tell me. Shaving your legs is gawd awful! But, the real lesson was the "conditioning" that girls must go through. Shaving your legs at 12 years old is ridiculous.
That said she wouldn't allow me make-up at school until I was sixteen.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)but when i shaved legs the first couple times and had blood running down, and not really caring about them being shaved, i got it too. i was a swimmer and had an excuse to have hairy legs all season (nov -august) so i had the drag, lol, and last race of the year i would shave for ... oh, whtever it is called.
but yes, my mom was like that, too. i didnt need or wear make up for years... 20's before i used base. i hadnt thought of that.
Texasgal
(17,154 posts)No base. Only light colored lipsticks or nail polish. She wouldn't allow eyeliner.
I'd go to school and clump on my electric blue eyeliner ( it was the 80's after all ) and then wash off before I came home! LOL! My mom was a hippie and didn;t wear make-up. She never has.
I hate wearing make-up but I do it daily. It's a pain in the ass.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)cyberswede
(26,117 posts)I don't even own any make-up, but my 9 y.o. daughter likes to wear play make-up for dress-up. I'm hoping she outgrows it.
I did try make-up for a brief period in junior high. Then a friend and I took advantage of a free makeover promotion at a department store (the goal was to get us to but the stuff afterward). When the makeover was finished, and I got to see myself in the mirror, I didn't even look like myself any more, so I never wore make-up again. I'm 45, and I'm sure I look like shit, but who cares?
I suppose I'll have to think more about this as my daughter gets a little older and is subject to peer pressure. eek!
Tumbulu
(6,448 posts)and I have never been able to stand how it feels on me......
but it is interesting- I have often thought about why women enjoy this stuff.....
Rex
(65,616 posts)I dunno, maybe it is just me, but it seems like sick behavior. I mean...can't the child grow up just a LITTLE before thrusting them into a culture of adult extreme competition? To me...i seems the adults are the actual participants and their children are nothing more then objects (dress up dolls). Disturbing.
Tumbulu
(6,448 posts)They depress me, actually. As there is a pathetic quality to it all.
The mothers make me sad.
iris27
(1,951 posts)I started shaving my legs and wearing lip gloss at 10, when all the other girls in class were doing it (geez, how cliche). But I was doing it behind my mom's back -- at least until she realized her razor was dull -- and certainly not with her behind the wheel.
I never got much beyond the lip gloss stage. Sometimes I wonder if it's been a professional liability that I never wear makeup because I can't put it on properly without looking like a hooker.
But then I remember that I apparently present as butch enough that the one day I came to work wearing earrings, three different people said, "Oh! You got your ears pierced! Huh!"...when really, they've been pierced since I was a kid...I just never wear jewelry. So makeup would probably just make me look like I was attempting drag, the way earrings and dresses do.