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Jilly_in_VA

(10,890 posts)
Thu Feb 2, 2023, 03:49 PM Feb 2023

A Woman Was Ordered to Stop Breastfeeding to Accommodate the Father's Visitation Rights

A woman in Virginia has been ordered by a judge “to make every effort to place the child on a feeding schedule and use a bottle” in order to accommodate the baby’s father’s visitation rights and schedule, the Washington Post reported this week. The order, originally issued at the end of November, is set to take effect this month.

Since Arleta Ramirez’s daughter was born last July, she’s been breastfed, which Ramirez says is in accordance with all guidance from her doctors. But the judge ordered that her daughter’s father, Mike Ridgway, must be permitted to visit the baby four days per week with overnight visits. Ramirez’s baby needs to be fed once an hour, and feeding time interferes with her ex’s visitation time, prompting the court order for Ramirez to stop breastfeeding.

This is somehow, apparently, something courts can just do.

The Post notes that “because most custody disputes are handled in state courts and don’t surface consistently in public records, there’s little paper trail” to show how common cases like Ramirez’s are. And consequently, there’s little data showing how frequently mothers like her may be ordered by courts to stop breastfeeding—regardless of what their babies may be used to and prefer, and regardless of someone’s choice and preference for their body. As writer Moira Donegan notes, the court order Ramirez faces “uses the law to coerce women into unchosen bodily, health, and family circumstances for the sake of men’s entitlements or whims.”

Stephanie Bodak Nicholson, president of La Leche League’s USA Council, told the Washington Post that she receives at least one call each year regarding breastfeeding-related legal issues in custody disputes. A prominent men’s rights legal group called “The Firm for Men” (incidentally, it doesn’t accept women clients) states on its website that it identifies what it calls breastfeeding “ploys” for women seeking custody as a major concern and recurring issue.

https://jezebel.com/a-woman-was-ordered-to-stop-breastfeeding-to-accommodat-1850065735

An ex-husband behaving like a child, an attorney who seems to be part of the MRA movement, and a judge who knows absolutely nothing about breastfeeding. What could possibly go wrong here?

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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A Woman Was Ordered to Stop Breastfeeding to Accommodate the Father's Visitation Rights (Original Post) Jilly_in_VA Feb 2023 OP
A father that is this selfish and unconcerned about what is best for the child is UNFIT. hlthe2b Feb 2023 #1
Let me guess, he is pro life? onecaliberal Feb 2023 #2
Overnight visits? So in addition to dictating her breastfeeding decisions, the Gaugamela Feb 2023 #3
Yeah, that part blew me away too. Ferrets are Cool Feb 2023 #8
I'm assuming it's the baby visiting the father, not the baby visiting the child overnight lostnfound Feb 2023 #11
You're probably right. On the other hand, if it goes well, it could be a chance Gaugamela Feb 2023 #12
Ridiculous and cruel--that baby's too young for overnight visits away from mom. Timeflyer Feb 2023 #4
Please don't interpret this as siding with... 3catwoman3 Feb 2023 #5
You notice Jilly_in_VA Feb 2023 #7
Thnx for the clarification. 3catwoman3 Feb 2023 #13
Okay, tell me what MRA is. patphil Feb 2023 #6
Men's Rights Activist Jilly_in_VA Feb 2023 #9
Much better, thank you. patphil Feb 2023 #10
MRA, Men's Right's Activist Jilly_in_VA Feb 2023 #14
I guess it depends, this was the first time I've heard it. patphil Feb 2023 #15
It's been in the news Jilly_in_VA Feb 2023 #16
I've heard the label "incel" many times. patphil Feb 2023 #17

hlthe2b

(106,367 posts)
1. A father that is this selfish and unconcerned about what is best for the child is UNFIT.
Thu Feb 2, 2023, 03:50 PM
Feb 2023

Not to mention the damned judge.

Gaugamela

(2,658 posts)
3. Overnight visits? So in addition to dictating her breastfeeding decisions, the
Thu Feb 2, 2023, 03:57 PM
Feb 2023

judge is ordering her to provide sleepovers for her ex? Unbelievable.

lostnfound

(16,643 posts)
11. I'm assuming it's the baby visiting the father, not the baby visiting the child overnight
Thu Feb 2, 2023, 06:36 PM
Feb 2023

8 months old is pretty young to let a baby out of sight without major trust in that person

Gaugamela

(2,658 posts)
12. You're probably right. On the other hand, if it goes well, it could be a chance
Thu Feb 2, 2023, 07:02 PM
Feb 2023

for the mother to catch up on sleep. Of course, that ignores everything else that’s disturbing about this arrangement.

Timeflyer

(2,637 posts)
4. Ridiculous and cruel--that baby's too young for overnight visits away from mom.
Thu Feb 2, 2023, 04:11 PM
Feb 2023

And breastfeeding is seen as a weapon women use in their diabolical war on men? Goddess, I wish men could get pregnant!

3catwoman3

(25,453 posts)
5. Please don't interpret this as siding with...
Thu Feb 2, 2023, 04:14 PM
Feb 2023

…the father, because it’s not. I’m just clinically curious. The baby is now 6 months old. Based on all my years as a peds NP, I would think it unusual that an infant that age still needs to eat every hour.

Divorced parents far too often don’t put their children’s needs first. Years ago, I got an after hours call from a non-custodial dad. It was his weekend with his child, who was asthmatic. His ex dropped the child, his nebulizer and his meds off and said, “Here, you figure it out.”

Way to go, mom - who are we trying to hurt here? Idiot. (The asthma mom, not the nursing mom.)

Jilly_in_VA

(10,890 posts)
7. You notice
Thu Feb 2, 2023, 04:34 PM
Feb 2023

that I singled out "a judge who knows absolutely nothing about breastfeeding" in my comment below the link. He's the one who ordered that the baby be fed every hour. Not the mom. The judge obviously knows nothing about babies either.

patphil

(6,960 posts)
10. Much better, thank you.
Thu Feb 2, 2023, 04:56 PM
Feb 2023

Suggest you define an acronym when it's this obscure.

Ironic though, men have always had the lion's share of rights...guess they want it all, and the right to decide who else has what rights.

Jilly_in_VA

(10,890 posts)
14. MRA, Men's Right's Activist
Sat Feb 4, 2023, 12:49 PM
Feb 2023

is not obscure. It's been around since at least 2015 if not longer. I don't know where people have been who think all acronyms are "obscure" somehow. I've been using most of mine since the 90s when I first got online.

IMNSHO: In my (not so) humble opinion
YMMV: your mileage may vary
are the two I use most frequently

patphil

(6,960 posts)
15. I guess it depends, this was the first time I've heard it.
Sat Feb 4, 2023, 12:58 PM
Feb 2023

Of course, I don't do twitter, or any other similar social media.

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