'Gray Love': Yes, Older People Have Desires
view the whole very interesting interview at the link below )
‘Gray Love’: Yes, Older People Have Desires
1/13/2023 by Eleanor J. Bader
(Rutgers University Press)
It’s rare, says Nan Bauer-Maglin, co-editor of Gray Love: Stories About Dating and New Relationships After 60, for books about love—let alone sexual intimacy, hookups and the desire for companionship—to intertwine with aging. There are, of course, dozens of titles about growing older, losing a partner to illness or getting divorced, and recent titles are increasingly concerned with offering how-to advice to older people. Gray Love, which Bauer-Maglin co-edited with Daniel E. Hood, is unique in showcasing men and women’s own voices in this adventure: the nitty-gritty headiness of first dates, the joy of getting to know someone’s history, politics and quirks, and the inevitability of decline.
Gray Love is an ambitious effort and includes 45 voices, 32 of them female and 13 male. Forty-two essays cover a range of topics, from dating while mourning the loss of a partner, to what to write on an online profile. Not surprisingly, there’s both comedy and tragedy here.
Bauer-Maglin spoke to Ms. reporter Eleanor J. Bader about the book late last year.
Eleanor J. Bader: Gray Love includes diverse voices, with people of all races and sexual identities weighing in. It also reflects geographic diversity. How did you achieve this?
Bauer-Maglin: We let the internet do its work. People saw the call for contributors and sent it to other people who sent it to more people. Dan and I are dating, and one of the reasons I wanted him to co-edit the book with me was because he could reach out to men in a way that I could not. Although we are both white and straight, we did reach out to people of color and the LGBTQ+ community to ensure that the book reflected a range of diverse and varied perspectives.
Unfortunately, the book is not as diverse in terms of class. The contributors are all middle- or upper-middle class college-educated professionals, most now retired. Some of their essays describe the desire to maintain two homes, one for each partner—which you can’t do if you don’t have money and need to economize.
. . . . . .
“Even though many of the women writers had been on multiple dates that led nowhere, they were not bitter. Many did not see dating as a waste of time. They felt each encounter was an adventure,” said Nan Bauer-Maglin. “After my husband died, I went on Match and one of the men in his 60s wrote that he was looking for a woman his age. It was so refreshing.” (Courtesy)
https://msmagazine.com/2023/01/13/gray-love-stories-about-dating-and-new-relationships-after-60-book-review/