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Marthe48

(19,007 posts)
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 06:07 PM Jan 2023

I saw a meme on Facebook

Says: ' "Not every woman has a scary story about a man." Yes, they do. I promise you that they do."

Just food for thought. And sorry so many women have had bad experiences, sorry for the good guys and do not want to lump them in.

14 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I saw a meme on Facebook (Original Post) Marthe48 Jan 2023 OP
Likely most, but certainly not all NoRethugFriends Jan 2023 #1
Agreed. ShazzieB Jan 2023 #2
You have never been scared walking or driving alone in a dark place? Irish_Dem Jan 2023 #3
Oh, sure, I've been in situations where I was nervous. ShazzieB Jan 2023 #4
Exactly. Diamond_Dog Jan 2023 #8
I added my experience to the comments on facebook Marthe48 Jan 2023 #5
Don't take an open drink at a bar. Lunabell Jan 2023 #6
I would wager that... 2naSalit Jan 2023 #7
I am one of those fifty. The ex-boyfriend who tried to kill me when I was 16. niyad Jan 2023 #9
I learned how... 2naSalit Jan 2023 #10
Sadly, the life of females everywhere under patriarchy. niyad Jan 2023 #11
Thanks... 2naSalit Jan 2023 #12
I have just started reading, "The Bonobo Sisterhood" by Diane Rosenfeld. These niyad Jan 2023 #13
The study of... 2naSalit Jan 2023 #14

ShazzieB

(18,645 posts)
2. Agreed.
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 06:15 PM
Jan 2023

I have my share of stories about men being rude, condescending, and/or misogynistic, but no genuinely scary stories that happened to me personally, and it's certainly not because I've never taken any risks.

I know I've been very, very lucky.

Irish_Dem

(57,388 posts)
3. You have never been scared walking or driving alone in a dark place?
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 06:19 PM
Jan 2023

Or in an isolated place with no one else around?

No fear of what may happen?

Or walked into a restaurant with mostly loud men drinking, that didn't feel safe?

The point I am making is that men don't have to go through this.

ShazzieB

(18,645 posts)
4. Oh, sure, I've been in situations where I was nervous.
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 06:39 PM
Jan 2023

Always been leery walking alone after dark, for sure.

I was thinking of something more specific, like being directly threatened by a man or having a narrow escape from some dude trying to harm me. I've not experienced anything like that.

But being in situations where I felt like I had to be on my guard or felt unsafe in general because of male behavior, sure, and I'm sure just about all women have.

It's very true that men don't have to look over their shoulders or be on guard about their personal safety as much as women do.

Diamond_Dog

(34,615 posts)
8. Exactly.
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 07:10 PM
Jan 2023

Men don’t have to worry about stuff like that.

Another one is getting into an elevator when it stops at your floor and there’s only one man inside.

Marthe48

(19,007 posts)
5. I added my experience to the comments on facebook
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 06:42 PM
Jan 2023

2 different times, I had to fight off different men. I was able to fight off the one on my own, but had to call for help with the other, and tG, someone helped me.

I'm glad you don't have a story like that to tell

Lunabell

(6,810 posts)
6. Don't take an open drink at a bar.
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 07:05 PM
Jan 2023

Don't walk or jog in certain areas or at night. Put your keys between your fingers as a weapon when walking to your car. Don't go bar hopping without a friend. Use a code word or make the driver say your name when ordering a lyft or uber. Cross the street when walking past an alley. The list goes on and on ad nauseum.

We're more than breasts, ass and vaginas. Men, if you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Don't let your buddies get away with misogynist jokes, innuendos, cat-calls or devaluing women. Treat ALL women with the respect you (hopefully) give your mother, sister or wife.

2naSalit

(92,669 posts)
7. I would wager that...
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 07:07 PM
Jan 2023

For every woman who doesn't have a scary story there are probably fifty women who have more than one.

niyad

(119,895 posts)
9. I am one of those fifty. The ex-boyfriend who tried to kill me when I was 16.
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 11:09 PM
Jan 2023

Getting mugged in Detroit when I was 21. The death threats from my work for women's rights, including the kkk death threats to the National Women's Conference attendees in 1977.

And, although this was not a direct threat, it really pissed me off. I was in CA, driving around on a day off, and came across a county park that looked interesting. There was a trail about a mile long into the woods, a pretty stream. I figured I could get some good photos. And then I stopped myself. Mine was the only car. The Hillside strangler had not yet been caught. None of my friends knew where I was., and this was long before cell phones. Common sense told me it was not a good idea., so I left. We should not HAVE to worry about such things.

2naSalit

(92,669 posts)
10. I learned how...
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 11:26 PM
Jan 2023

To inflict severe damage at an early age because I needed to. I didn't think I'd survive life in my home before I would get a chance to be old enough to be out alone so I could get mugged, but I was almost the victim of a pedophile when I was five, I managed to escape.

I really can't count all the times, though I suppose if I actually tried for an hour or so I might remember them all. It's the life of a female person in America, our own dirty little secret.

niyad

(119,895 posts)
11. Sadly, the life of females everywhere under patriarchy.
Sat Jan 21, 2023, 12:56 AM
Jan 2023

I am so very sorry for what you went through. Children should be safe in their homes, but we know that is often not true.

I am so glad that you are a fighter, a survivor.

2naSalit

(92,669 posts)
12. Thanks...
Sat Jan 21, 2023, 01:14 AM
Jan 2023

It is something that has to change. It will take all of us but it needs to happen and soon.

niyad

(119,895 posts)
13. I have just started reading, "The Bonobo Sisterhood" by Diane Rosenfeld. These
Sat Jan 21, 2023, 08:26 AM
Jan 2023

great apes are our closest genetic cousin. Their society has basically no sexual violence, no male dominance. If a female is bothered by a male, she cries out, and all the females in the area coming rushing to her aid.

I am looking forward to more reading.

2naSalit

(92,669 posts)
14. The study of...
Sat Jan 21, 2023, 12:04 PM
Jan 2023

Inter-group behavior is very interesting. Humans have always observed animals and mimicked their social patterns. It's a fascinating topic. I find those where the females hold power, they usually opt for more egalitarian social arrangements at all levels.

They are, also, very successful until they are overwhelmed by male dominated brute force and ignorance groups.

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