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lambchopp59

(2,809 posts)
Sat Aug 21, 2021, 08:56 AM Aug 2021

Guilt tripping

I'm dealing with an unexpected eruption of homophobia, hilarious in one aspect, major guilt trip regurgitating, even deadly serious in yet another. Had some PTSD nightmares last night, therapeutically getting it out of my system:
Nutshell PTSD: life threatening BS at the behest of close relatives of the Westboro idiots, long ago, ran away from home, had to survive street urchin homelessness circa 1976. A lot of therapy later... all good now.
Until I turned up to assist my brother with upcoming back surgery, in VA slow cog turning suspense for now.
Brother had subscribed to Roku TV. We'd watched some movies together, some had HETERO sexual content... no issues.
Then I brought up an LGBTQ channel movie. Oh, man. It had a brief nude scene between the main protagonist and his lover, suggestive of sexual relations to happen.
OMG my brothers wife freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeked out. Now the "unwelcome" mat has been firmly placed by brother's wife, complicating the shit out of this whole ordeal. My brother has no one else capable/city drivable/or has vehicle he can ride home flat and relatively comfortably when this happens.
Jeebus fluck the last damn thing I needed is regurgitation of past homophobic guilt trip shit, but here it is.
Brother laughs it off with me... oops... made the in-law even madder.
I'm at a mountain retreat till this whole ordeal is past. Worst aspect of all (tongue in cheek) now I must Google up that movie to find out how it ends.

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marble falls

(62,440 posts)
1. We can pick our noses, pick a friend, pick a fight, but we don't get to pick family or in-laws ...
Sat Aug 21, 2021, 09:06 AM
Aug 2021

Be available for your brother, it seems from your story your brother seems ok. But, like you, I don't go where I'm not wanted.

Seems like your wheels are on straight and you're good, don't let a loose cog-ed SiL steal your joy.

lambchopp59

(2,809 posts)
2. Precisely.
Sat Aug 21, 2021, 09:30 AM
Aug 2021

In law certainly has some issues to work out on her own. Brother and I shared, laughed off the situation while attending the local Pride festival last week with me he and I enjoyed as well as he could from his wheelchair. He attempted to talk his wife into attending, would have gone a long ways towards a wake-up call about this shit she's demonizing. I knew she had some minor homophobic issues many years ago, apparently she's still stuck in.
Beyond a silly, symbolic PTSD nightmare this brought up last night...
I'm okay. Helps to get the crap off my chest.

marble falls

(62,440 posts)
3. If we pay attention, help where it's needed, ask for help when it's needed - we'll all get ...
Sat Aug 21, 2021, 09:35 AM
Aug 2021

... get through anything and thrive. Keep being you.

AllaN01Bear

(23,243 posts)
4. sometimes inlaws can be more fam than fam. ever have the feeling of being outside and looking in?
Sat Aug 21, 2021, 11:31 AM
Aug 2021

i feel for the poster .

marble falls

(62,440 posts)
5. Absolutely. I loved amy parents but they were kinda distant. My step-parents and I get along ...
Sat Aug 21, 2021, 11:41 AM
Aug 2021

... very well, even decades after my dad and then mother passed.

Don't care much for my brother and sister, but get along well with my half brothers and sister. I'm the oldest of all of them.

Mickju

(1,812 posts)
6. I'm sorry. You should not have to be going through this.
Sun Aug 22, 2021, 04:10 PM
Aug 2021

It's a shame that after all this time that this shit is still happening. I really don't have any answers. All I can offer is sympathy. I have experienced this sort of thing and it is very hurtful. It was always shocking to me whenever it happened.

lambchopp59

(2,809 posts)
7. Frankly this time around is mostly just an inconvenience that hits where it hurts
Mon Aug 23, 2021, 04:06 PM
Aug 2021

Both my brother and I have put that kerfluffle into the "she's got her key wound up too tight" file. Brother assures me he deals with similar tantrums quite frequently.
I realize there are even Democrats who still hold personal grudges against LGBT, and for that sort I suggest just as for my in-law: take them to a Pride festival, it goes a long ways towards a wake up call.

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