Working in a toxic position

[liberal N proud]

I have been working for a company for 5 years and the last year, things have become toxic.
Threat to be fired if you don't perform, but refusing to provide a performance review.
Coworker who is rude, condescending and a little unstable making threats.

I have been looking on Indeed and LinkdIn for several months and out of the blue a head hunter called me about a position.
The commute is probably twice of my current commute.

I had the interview on Wednesday that lasted for 2 1/2 hours. I was shocked to have an interview that was that long.
The head hunter says an offer is imminent so I have make the decision.

The position would most likely require more hours, it a small company where everyone wears multiple hats. But sounds like it could be a rewarding job with interaction with people all around the world.

I am 64 with plans to work until I am 70. I don't do well sitting around the house.

Am I nuts in making a change so late in my career? You know what they say about the grass on the other side of the fence.

I have already written my resignation letter with a very scathing review of how I felt I had been treated.

Its only 6 years, RIGHT?

[Sienna86]

1. Six years is a long time to be unhappy

Good luck with the new position. I see the commute would be longer, but you could listen to books or music and even perhaps work one day at home a week. Let us know how it goes.

[liberal N proud]

12. Yeah, SirusXM will be my friend

[BWdem4life]

19. Speaking of Sirius XM

I just bought some.



Could keep falling, but over the long term the price looks good.

[elleng]

2. Sounds 'exciting.'

Dare I say so, @ 78???

[patphil]

3. If you're so unhappy with your current job that you are actually considering this, I say go for it!

I once read an article (I don't remember where) that said if you didn't wake up in the morning and feel good about going to work, then you were in the wrong job and should leave.
I hope you do well in your new position.

[Irish_Dem]

4. You answered your own question: "things have become toxic"

Don't let a company make you sick when you have an escape.

[2naSalit]

15. +1

[mitch96]

17. +1. My last job became toxic but I could bail out...never looked back..nt

[Irish_Dem]

18. Right, staying too long in a bad situation can be very damaging.

I am glad you got out.

[multigraincracker]

5. Good luck.

I’ve moved a lot in my life. Usually works out. If not I just move again.

[Ocelot II]

6. Take the offer. Six years is a long time to stay in a job where you are miserable.

You're never too old to try to improve your life.

[spooky3]

7. I would not send the scathing letter. Chances are a toxic company

Won’t have anyone read and consider it. And it’s a small world in many industries so you could get bad mouthed, which could hurt you if you don’t like the new job and have to search again.

[elleng]

8. Right

[CountAllVotes]

10. I would keep the letter

Do not send it however.

Keep it and read in in six months, that's my advice!

[liberal N proud]

13. I had to write it

Just to solidify my resolve

Don't have to deliver that version.

[spooky3]

14. Totally understood nt

[Meadowoak]

9. Do it, and don't look back.

[erronis]

11. I've retired 4 times and always wanted to keep working. Each time has been a new experience.

And I think that's what is important. Keep on learning and helping. If the situation is harmful to your health (mental and physical) get out.

[Turbineguy]

16. I stayed in a toxic position for a few years.

It was a mistake. I told them I would not quit. They eventually fired me. I found a much better job.

[lostnfound]

20. Not nuts. Added benefit, keeps your brain young

Learning new things is good for the brain as we get older
Even if the work type is the same, there will be new people and new procedures.
Might turn out to be great!

[jfz9580m]

21. That sounds really horrible

Last edited Wed Sep 25, 2024, 02:46 AM - Edit history (1)

Did you end up leaving?

I have been fortunate in having had decent coworkers and bosses/mentors in my jobs. I disliked one institution I worked at …they were ..abrasive ..but even there my coworkers, mentor/boss and counsellors/hr etc were decent.

The institution was hideous, but not surprising given the part of the world. It is in a part of the world I dislike very much. Again not the people, but the attitude. Not a fan of techno-oligarchs.

[liberal N proud]

22. I did, a very small company had been recruiting me for a while

I finally gave in and went to the interview and it was a great interview.

The last straw was one day I was called into the office and met with 5 other people confronting me over some BS where I asked for some information and the employee refused to provide it. Supposedly, I blew up.
I sat there and let them rant, holding myself to the chair for fear I would just walk out. I was asked if I had anything to say for myself and a said nope, got up and walked out.
Next thing I did was make a phone call asking when they would like me to start at the new company.
I wrote a letter to the owner who knew nothing about what went down and was shocked that I was quitting.
I was his certified engineer.

They were all pissed that I was leaving. I am now working for a company of passionate people who treat each other with respect.

[jfz9580m]

23. I am so glad you found a better fit

Your last job sounds like a nightmare. I have always felt for people whose job involves deescalating bs (even when it is my own
;-/ ).

My worst work experience was over a decade ago and I burnt out pretty badly. On the plus side, I am fine now.

There was a lot of fault on my side, but even so the institution was a bit hideous. I have grown up myself a bit now, but I still do roll my eyes about some of their bs when I recollect it.

Still in the balance I figure it is better to blame oneself for one’s own sake (as long as no one else knows ).

The institution I last worked at..they had an institutional personality that came across as pushy and somewhat obnoxious. The people there weren’t too bad often, but the collective personality of the institution was ..well I found it charming .

I don’t really have a problem acknowledging
my own errors and more importantly correcting them under at least semi-reasonable conditions ;-/.
However, it makes fair-minded processing of one’s own errors hard when you fear that a pushy employer is looking over your shoulder to collect a list of your faults to neutralise you.

Oh well…you learn from anything that doesn’t kill you. I am pretty robust psychologically so I guess it was a learning experience.

My boss was actually cool. It is why I have finally let it go. I suppose what I thought/think roughly translated/s to “This poor man is working and doing his best in this hideous place. He is decent enough so I should get out/move on”…

Anyway I am glad it worked out for you liberal n proud.