"you are Schrödinger’s Rapist"

[galileoreloaded]

"When you approach me in public, you are Schrödinger’s Rapist. You may or may not be a man who would commit rape. I won’t know for sure unless you start sexually assaulting me. I can’t see inside your head, and I don’t know your intentions. If you expect me to trust you—to accept you at face value as a nice sort of guy—you are not only failing to respect my reasonable caution, you are being cavalier about my personal safety."

http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/

Interesting perspective.

[DavidDvorkin]

1. Anyone I don't know is Schroedinger's (Fill In the Blank).

[nomorenomore08]

2. Exactly. Most of us are at least somewhat wary around strangers, and with good reason.

No need to take any of this personally.

[nomorenomore08]

3. All it means is that a woman can't necessarily tell a man who might harm her, from one who wouldn't.

I mean, how do you tell a harmless stranger from a (potentially) malicious one? I can't, in most cases. Hence, even as a man, I have a degree of wariness.

[lumberjack_jeff]

4. Much the way I can't tell a dangerous hispanic person from a benign one.

Or for that matter, anyone unlike me. Safety requires that I consider them all suspect until they prove otherwise... amiright?

It is reasonable to have a degree of caution in any new situation. It transitions into bigotry when I advise my friends (i.e. people who look like me) to clutch their can of pepper spray tightly whenever they are in the presence of (men/blacks/hispanics/republicans).

Well, perhaps it is reasonable for #4 on the list.

[nomorenomore08]

5. So you equate women's wariness of strange men, with racism?

What we're talking about here is not a matter of "difference" or "otherness." It's the fact that a woman, over her lifetime, has a comparatively very high chance of being sexually, or otherwise, assaulted by a man. Whereas the vast majority of murders - and robberies, so far as I know - are committed by someone who's the same race as the victim. So this strikes me as an apples-and-oranges comparison, to say the least.

[Behind the Aegis]

6. Not really.

Sorry to jump in, but I think the comparison holds some water. Most sexual assaults against women are actually committed by men they know; not strangers! To me, it bares a similarity to the "stranger danger" we teach children, when in fact most kidnappings are by family members, as are most pedophilic assaults. Yet, we teach children to fear strangers. So why is it acceptable for women to see every male stranger as a potential rapist? Driving that point home is your own statement: "Whereas the vast majority of murders - and robberies, so far as I know - are committed by someone who's the same race as the victim." Therefore, "fearing" black people because they may rob you is as ludicrous and bigotry driven as fearing any man you encounter on the street will rape you.

[nomorenomore08]

7. Okay. I guess you have a point there.

I just don't see wariness of strangers in general - which is something I practice even as a man - as being an unreasonable prejudice akin to knee-jerk racism.

[Behind the Aegis]

8. Wariness of strangers in general isn't a problem.

Like you, I also practice it. I just don't distinguish based on sex. When the determining factor is solely sex, then it is a form of bigotry. You may not see a correlation, but it is there, it is just the "-ism" is different.

[nomorenomore08]

9. I do see the correlation, at least so far as I don't think women should live in fear of all men.

That would indeed be a form of unreasonable prejudice.

And I also neglected, in my earlier post, to take into account the fact that sexual assaults are mostly committed by acquaintances of the victim. So, as you noted, it's not necessarily strangers one should be worried about.

[Behind the Aegis]

10. There is definately something to be said for being vigilant.

I really do understand why women can be apprehensive about strange men, I am too...straight ones. I have never been raped by one; my rapist was bisexual. But, I do have to battle with myself when it comes to being around strangers whom I perceive to be heterosexual men. Though rape may not be at the top of my mind, "fag-bashing" certainly is. I have to remind myself, not every heterosexual man is a threat to me.

[nomorenomore08]

11. Indeed. And while I may not know what it's like firsthand, I do sympathize with what you've

been through and the apprehension you feel. I've been verbally threatened on the street, at night, by a random asshole or two, robbed by another, and I have close friends who've suffered various forms of violence and abuse in their lives. So while I may not be as vulnerable - or fearful - as others in some of the same situations, being a white, straight, 200-lb. male, victimization is certainly not a foreign concept to me.

[Major Nikon]

12. The idea of Schrödinger’s Rapist is not as bad as the ideas which spin from it

I can certainly understand why some women feel intimidated by men. What I see happening is you have some feminists who build on this idea by saying things like "all men don't rape, but all men benefit from those who do" which makes less sense than saying 'all women don't cut off penes, but all women benefit from those who do".

[galileoreloaded]

13. kinda my point.

its the failure to grasp the reality of abstract concept devoid of logical reasoning, and then turning around an promoting abstracts devoid of reasoning and full of logical fallacy.

i think it hold many back, but i also understand its pure fear.