Shirtless in public - it bothers me.

[Denninmi]

Not in some weird Fundie Puritan/Victorian way. Because I am stillnunhappy with my appearance. I always thought of myself as wimpy and not at all muscular growing up, was decent as a younger guy. Late 40s, having gained a ton of weight, 55-60 pounds and then lost all but 5-10 lbs of it, let's just say that took its toll. Been trying to work in chest exercises and abs, but still uncomfortable.

I'm starting swimming lessons, in a busy pool, with a young female instructor at that. Not sexist, but I am more comfortable with male trainers - just seems like a guy thing.

My short term solution, I bought a couple of triathlon swim tank tops. Long term, I am vain enough to consider plastic surgery if I can't tone up through weight and resistance training. Honestly, I look better than a lot of the guys at the gym, some are very overweight, but I am insecure.

So, what is your take on this. Is there a line beyond which heavy men should stay covered in public? How about scrawny guys? Is it just as sexist as saying bad things about heavy women?

[Warren DeMontague]

1. Depends on where you are, in my mind.

Beach? Pool? Nordstrom's?

I'd say beach, pool, 100+ degree Dead show on the lawn, take the shirt off if you want. Most other situations, it probably makes more sense to leave it on. Physique doesn't really enter into it.

[MrSlayer]

2. People should do what they want.

But I'd rather unsightly people remain out of sight.

After being out of work for nearly two years I'm not taking my shirt off this summer either. I've totally atrophied.

It's time to hit the gym, something I never had to do before.

[Warren DeMontague]

3. I've upped my exercise regimen, lifting weights 2X a week, and doing ab exercises

and I'll be damned if I still can't lose that last bit of spare tire. Sigh.

[MrSlayer]

4. This is all new territory for me.

I'm actually kind of intimidated by the prospect of going to a gym since I've never done it before. I don't want to go in there and look like an idiot or a weakling. This time off has killed me. I haven't been ripped since I was a kid but I was always trim and tight from work. I need to drop a good twenty pounds and tighten up everything.

From what I've heard from my fitness friends, that last little bit is toughest to get off but if you keep at it, it will go away. So keep it up.

[Warren DeMontague]

5. I can't do gyms, either.

I have to exercise mostly at home. It's easier to fit into the schedule, plus--- even if it's all in my head, I don't like the head trip of the gym, as you allude to.

Sometimes I'll do it, though.

[MrSlayer]

6. I'm going to give it a shot.

If I can get by the first month and figure out what I'm doing I should be ok. I can at least go and do cardio on the machines or whatever if I'm too intimidated to lift there.

We'll see. I'll just psyche myself up for it.

Perhaps I'll blog about it here.

[Warren DeMontague]

9. Aye, keep us posted!

Any additional motivation is good, in my own case.

[loli phabay]

25. a good motivation trick is to put pics of how you want to look around the house

So you aspire to that physique, if you want i can give you lifesize of me to hang around for inspiration. Lol but seriously it works.

[lumberjack_jeff]

7. I don't mind the gym, not even the head trip.

One of three things will occur:
a) Insecure people will realize that if *he* isn't ashamed to come here, then neither should I.
b) I'll get a better workout than I can motivate myself into at home.
c) The beautiful people will look down upon me with scorn. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

I think a lot of the challenge is picking the right gym. I live in a very blue-collar area and my gym caters to retirees. Very much NOT a meat-market. Even the young guys in the free weight room are pretty low-key.

[Warren DeMontague]

8. Like I said, I'm pretty aware that all that stuff is in my own head.

So I don't take it very seriously. I think I look fairly decent, and every time I have gone to the gym I think I've looked at least as in place there as anyone else.

Really my main hurdle for going to the gym vs. dealing with it at home is logistics. And self-motivation isn't a problem for me at home.

[Major Nikon]

17. Taking up bike riding or running is a good way to lose it

Bike riding especially when you start figuring out how many pounds of useless fat you are carrying up a big hill.

[Warren DeMontague]

18. I actually got back into shape, originally, at around age 30 by doing a ton of bicycling.

And, exercycling.

At this point, though, I don't think I've taken the bike out on the road in years. I'm just too wary of the bad, inattentive, texting or what-have-you drivers out there. Maybe this summer. I've been meaning to.

But I sort of hit a plateau with the exercycle, and then I bought my wife an elliptical she wanted as a present, and since then I've ended up totally hijacking the thing. (My original reaction that I'd feel like a dork standing on it went right out the window when I saw that, at least according to the machine, it burned about 2X the calories in the same amount of time as the bike) ... so far just upping the daily amounts has made a difference, along with doing bicycle crunches every night. That was the part I was avoiding, because I can't stand those, but they do seem to work.

My whole thing when I originally got back into shape, I bought all my shorts and pants with 34" waist, which is decent for my build since I'm slightly above avg. height, and I was 32" and pretty skinny in High School, and I swore that rather than go out and get new ones if I started to put on weight, that would be my warning sign. So I was bulging over the top of the pants a bit but it's gotten a lot better.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

10. "It's America, dude....learn the rules!"

[Warren DeMontague]

13. .

..

...

[Bonobo]

11. I'm pretty self-conscious lately.

I was in peak condition 3 years ago when I got my black belt. But since I moved to Japan, I have put on around 25 pounds. Worst of all, everyone in Japan is fucking skinny and it seems to be a cultural thing on this island to make small talk by saying "Hey, you;ve really gotten fat!"...

So I am walking, starting up my old karate routine (it will be some time before I can do THAT workout again).

But anyway, yeah, it's not just you. Good luck and keep working out. It will pay off.

[mokawanis]

12. Didn't bother me when I was young

but it does now. After I turned 50 I put on a little fat on my stomach and became self-conscious about it so I've stopped going shirtless in public. The exception to that is the gym, where I go shirtless in the steam room and the pool.

I'm 6'3" and weigh 195, but I don't have a muscular build like a lot of the guys I'm around when I lift weights in the gym. I found that intimidating when I first joined up two years ago but I forced myself to get beyond it and just do my work out. My goal isn't to put on muscle weight, it's to maintain tone and all-around fitness.

I think the important thing here is that you're making an effort to be healthy and fit. If covering up when you're in the pool makes you feel more comfortable then that's the right thing to do.

[Denninmi]

14. I decided to just "get over it."

Public pool, in a very large gym with a big diversity of members, a lot of guys very overweight, big beer bellies, and everything that goes with that. Trying to be objective, I look a lot better than many of the guys there. So, I got over it.

[Warren DeMontague]

15. Oh, hell yeah.

Very few people at the pool, the beach, etc. look like an Abercrombe and Fitch ad. (And yes, I know the CEO is a dick) ...that goes for both genders.

[galileoreloaded]

16. if it bothers you enoug, be accountable to yourself.

eat full paleo, walk an hour a day 3 days a week and don't let your heart rate go over 125. oull the weight off your knees and start hitting some mild freeweights.

call me in three months!

[Denninmi]

20. Because doing things that make you uncomfortable makes you stronger.

Life is all about growth, IMHO, freeing yourself from fear, inhibition, negative energy. It's always a good idea to push the envelope in appropriate ways.

The results of limiting personal growth can lead to complications in life, and great sadness. This may not be the perfect illustration of this, but I will share this story.

I know a family that has been friends of my family since before I was born. The parents have a daughter who is 3 years younger than I am. They were always very over-indulgent with her. They couldn't conceive, so they adopted her and she was very spoiled, they pretty much let her call the shots. One area of life was food - at an early age, she became extremely fussy. She would only eat cheese pizza with the crust trimmed, hot dogs on white bread with ketchup, macaroni and cheese, scrambled eggs, spaghetti-o's, and pb and grape jelly on white bread crust trimmed. Literally. Absolutely no fruits or vegetables, nothing healthy, as an adult she made jokes about it but still eats that way. She has two kids, they ended up the same way - the younger one can't go on school trips and couldn't go to sixth grade camp because they couldn't accommodate the weird diet.

She is now dying of metastatic colon cancer. At the age of 44. While there certainly could be a genetic component, I believe that her diet must be a major contributing factor. A consequence of holding back and being afraid to try new things, in this case food? Could be.

[Denninmi]

22. Ok, I will probably regret this, but

You opened the rabbit hole, I'll jump through it.

Simple concept, push the envelope of your personal comfort zone. Conquer a fear, whatever you want to call it. One less thing that bothers you, a little more self-confidence. Pretty basic, Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale built self-help empires around this concept.

Why does it have to be more complicated or have some deeper meaning than that?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. oh good lord. Peace out.

[loli phabay]

24. i know its easy to say but love the body you are in

Its just a vessel after all, just dress or undress to suit. Everyone has a type, some people think hairy is worse than fat, some like a tan some dont. You will never be perfect to everyone so screw them and just be perfect for you.

[Inkfreak]

26. Whenever I see a guy with no shirt on a bike

I think he's either on his way to or from a stabbing...

[ConcernedCanuk]

27. I overheat easily, so comfort is my main criteria.

.
.
.

I make what I call "shoulder shirts" - Just enough to cover my shoulders to protect them from the sun.

However, I had one institution threaten to throw me out because they could see my belly button (REALLY!!)

So I invented a new kind of shirt, fold it up and cut holes in it like I did as a kid with paper to make snowflakes,

Making sure that neither my nipples or belly button showed (heaven forbid!).

Now I'm cool, and they can't say nothing about it!

And the girls love these cut out shirts I wear.

A win-win!



CC

[Denninmi]

28. Good God, looking back ...

... Tht bothered me? I am so over it. In fact, managed to get a decent tan, been trying to get into the outdoor pool as much as possible, I guess I'm becoming quite the piece of eye candy for the ladies at my gym.