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Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
Sat Mar 9, 2013, 09:48 AM Mar 2013

I will most certainly give my daughter advice on how to remain safe.

I will also tell her how to always respect the wishes and boundaries of others
-just as I will teach my son how to remain safe and to respect the wishes of other humans and never impose on them anything they would not want.

To fail to do any of those things would be an unforgivable oversight as a parent.

16 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
2. Yes. And please note that I will ALSO tell my son how to remain safe
Sat Mar 9, 2013, 09:54 AM
Mar 2013

because I know that there are bad people out there and sending out the message "Do not beat people up, mug them or stab them!" will do NOTHING to ensure his safety. That is up to him -and saying that is NOT blaming the victim. It is common sense.

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
5. of course and in the more organic sense these creatures are respected for their
Sat Mar 9, 2013, 10:05 AM
Mar 2013

contribution, as in, the circle of life ...

Indians would always give thanks after a kill and/or harvest.

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
9. Defensive life skills are important.
Sat Mar 9, 2013, 10:55 AM
Mar 2013

Whether to protect yourself from assault, theft, scammers or yes, even rape.

The rate of rape victimization has gone down 85% since 1980. If self defense advice has played a role in that trend, it should be continued.

Some times the bearer of good advice looks like the bad guy. If my advice is construed as blaming the victim... for a victimization that the advice prevented - I can live with that.

Inkfreak

(1,695 posts)
10. I completely agree that young men should be educated on what rape is. And how important it is.
Sat Mar 9, 2013, 01:21 PM
Mar 2013

But the idea of NOT warning young women about the dangers of rape in this world doesn't sound at all smart. I mean, it's like not acknowledging that there are bad people out there. Who care not one iota about laws and how to conduct themselves in society. What harm does it do to warn young women? Empower them to be prepared for any situation. In an ideal world, she would never have any concerns. But we aren't there today. That whole thread seems to just be a replay of he dozens beforehand. Generalizations about how "some" say this or that. That being said, I love threads like that. Red meat for a lurker like myself. Silly me, I thought the absence of Meta would decrease those.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
11. Yeah, I'm not sure if I follow some of the logic around these arguments.
Sat Mar 9, 2013, 04:46 PM
Mar 2013

Is the point being, like, we shouldn't teach our kids to lock their cars and not leave the keys inside, if we just teach them not to be car thieves?

I don't think that's a terribly realistic approach to the world. People need to be able to navigate the world safely and in many cases, defend themselves.

It's a shame, but the world can be a dangerous place and bad things can happen.

 

Sen. Walter Sobchak

(8,692 posts)
12. I don't know what tangent this argument has gone off on, or why...
Sat Mar 9, 2013, 08:00 PM
Mar 2013

But as far as I am concerned when a group demands that physical safety take a backseat to a philosophical argument, much like the abstinence only nutjobs, it is time for that group to be ostracized and ignored.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
13. It's the Privilege-Checkers and Semantics-Scolders, at it again.
Sat Mar 9, 2013, 10:03 PM
Mar 2013

Nary a week can go by when there isn't a need to find hapless, Mal-educated victims audiences in need of scathing moral inventorying and correction.

Everyone is so relieved meta is gone, too, I'm sure...

...never mind that it was absolutely the best place, ever, to grind that axe.

One_Life_To_Give

(6,036 posts)
14. Two genders seperated by a common language
Mon Mar 11, 2013, 01:18 PM
Mar 2013

As a guy my first reaction was the same as yours. I didn't care for the article on first read either. However on subsequent review I think it's an emotional plea to move beyond the protect yourself. To focus on what else needs to be done. We are not going to be able to protect our daughters from their Boyfriends all the time.

 

loli phabay

(5,580 posts)
15. good points, though when my daughter starts dating I will let the guy know the price
Mon Mar 11, 2013, 02:01 PM
Mar 2013

That my culture takes if he does step out of line, she will also be equipped to defend herself and the mentality to do what she needs to do. Unfortunately this is what it comes to, but there are a small minority of guys who don't know what no means and for them you need a more robust strategy.

Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
16. As in all things, there are ways to say things to get a response.
Mon Mar 11, 2013, 06:31 PM
Mar 2013

The article most likely is TRYING to get an angry response.

Of late I have come to suspect that the lack of care with which some people post --posting even common-sense statements in the most offensive or anger-inducing way --is for one of two possible reasons:

1) The posters that do so are so filled with anger that, like angry people do, they want to lash out, or
2) They want to whip up a controversy and by doing so, attract attention. Perhaps by offending people, they can then point the finger and say "Ah, see how you responded!".

See, the idea that we should tell rapists not to rape is so obvious that it hardly needs to be said, and, in fact, we do. Messages for boys to respect women ARE sent and parents DO raise their kids with those things. The fact is, though, that there will always be rape in EXACTLY the same way as there will always be VIOLENCE.

And so one either faces that fact realistically and teaches a person how to prepare for rape (violence) or they leave them at the mercy of the monsters.

I studied karate for self-defense and I will teach my children to protect themselves as much as possible.

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