I didn't mean to stir up the gender wars.

[LiberalLoner]

I've been badly hurt by some things that have happened to me. I don't see all men as harmful. I'm happily married. But because I have gone through some stuff, I'm hyper alert to the possibility of danger from men and when I post, sometimes the venom and despair rooted in what I've experienced comes out.

I'm sorry for that, and sorry for any sh*t I've stirred without meaning to.

I would imagine some of you have been hurt too, and maybe you get angry sometimes at what was done to you.

I know I'm not welcome on DU. Just thought I owed some people an apology before I go is all.

[Major Nikon]

1. As far as I've seen you've always been a substantive poster to this group

As such you are as welcome as anyone else here and your input is appreciated.

Everyone gets angry. Some deal with it better than others. Understanding where our anger comes from is the first step in addressing any behavior which arises from it.

[nomorenomore08]

12. +1

Couldn't have said it better. I also don't think the OP should leave DU.

[Bonobo]

2. You know what...

If we all stopped assuming the very worst of each other from every post and stopped demonizing each other, we would probably find disagreements only in the degree to which we focus on each issue and NO disagreements on the actual issues.

We all carry pain, and luggage to these anonymous discussion rooms.

Though many may doubt my sincerity and goodness as a person, I also regret hurting people.

Sometimes striking back is all we know how to do because we were raised that way.

Thank you for your sincere apology (though it is unnecessary from my POV). It touches me because it humanizes you and through it, I hope we can connect at least for this one brief moment.

Be well, grow healthy in spirit and safe journeys.

[Inkfreak]

4. Your 1st paragraph is why I always enjoy your posts

Ya hit the nail on the head. And on the rare occasion I don't quite agree with a post you have written, I always think to myself that I bet we could still have a reasonable calm discussion about it. I respect you and others who take this approach on DU.

Dunno if that means much from a random person on the Internet. But if ya ever wonder if you're reaching people thru posts here, you have. Thanks, man.

[Bonobo]

11. Thanks, Inkfreak.

That really means something to me.

[Warren DeMontague]

15. That's not going to happen. Look at meta.

...The train is the wreck, as it were.

It's the reason I don't take certain aspects of this site very seriously anymore. Life ...too short.

[Wait Wut]

3. Hi, LL

I've been staying out of this, but something you said is forcing me to add some input.

"I know I'm not welcome on DU."

It breaks my heart that you think this. None of us have to agree with each other 100% of the time. We're human beings allowed the right to our own opinions, beliefs, fears, etc. Someone you get into an argument with today could be your strongest supporter the next. DU is like that. Hell, my friends are like that IRL.

Many of us have been hurt. We all deal with it in our own way.

Whatever you choose to do, please do it for the right reasons and not because you don't think you're welcome here. No one should feel that way. Well, except for the occasional RW troll.

Take a break and think about the good things here.

[LiberalLoner]

5. Thank you all so much for being so gracious.

[Warren DeMontague]

6. The people who, to my mind, are genuinely not welcome on DU would never say such a thing.

The people who are genuinely not welcome on DU get banned over and over, and yet keep coming back to deliberately stir up crap while simultaneously complaining in secret enclaves elsewhere on the web, how much the place sucks.

I am sorry you've been through ... there is no phrase or combination of words which will do it justice, and I obviously can't fathom- so I'm sorry you've been through what you've been through, and I am sorry you've had to walk a difficult path.

I am aware that some people on this board are suffering from effects of their pasts. And I realize that people have their own burdens or whatever.

I do not believe that any strife on the board currently is your fault. Most people here have written something over-the-top and had it hidden at one time or another.

Like you, I have no interest in DU's "gender wars" Ned Shneeblies. I've said over and over again I think it's idiotic, and played out. I leave it to the reader to decide whether or not people who keep saying that they absolutely can't stand this site really ought to be trusted when they start trying to whip up a frenzy on the board over this, that or the other.

[lumberjack_jeff]

7. I hope you stay. n/t

[TeeYiYi]

8. Your post should not have been hidden...

You are definitely welcome on DU!

TYY

[Warren DeMontague]

9. Coming soon, the next point of contention in the not-gender wars

Will be the use of the phrase "gender war"

[Bonobo]

13. "If sex is a weapon, who's winning this war?"

[Warren DeMontague]

16. That is fucking AWESOME.

Thanks.

[lumberjack_jeff]

14. I think of it more like hockey.

"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except the there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other." -Jack Handey

[Warren DeMontague]

17. Apparently the phrase gender war IS itself problematic, so from here on out I will instead

use "Ned Shneebly".




In the interest of not feeding the flames of any additional ridiculous DU Ned Shneeblies.

[RiffRandell]

18. One of my favorite movies. and a great writer.

"I told them to make it out to cash!"

[opiate69]

19. "math, math, math, math, math..." /lilting melody

[Warren DeMontague]

20. I can say "Ned Shneebly" all day long.

[opiate69]

21. I so was expecting to hate that movie...

As a musician, believe it or not, Airheads was the only movie I'd seen that actually "got" the whole thing, but Jack Black killed it in that lol.

[Warren DeMontague]

22. It was Richard Linklater, wasn't it?

He's done some good work.

[opiate69]

23. Ah.. That would help explain it then...

Yeah, he's done some good stuff.. And I'm actually a big Jack Black fan, but I thought "JB and kids, making a rock band... Hmm.. Gotta be shit". And while it's no Citizen Kane, it pleasantly surprised me, for sure...