A Letter to Boys

[Bonobo]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/siddharth-dhanvant-shanghvi/a-letter-to-boys_b_4212815.html?ref=topbar

As my nephews -- Abhishek and Ishaan -- turn 16 this year, I wrote them a letter. In truth, I wrote to the boys, life is impossible. People will leave. Love can fail. Your job may be a bore. But once you accept this then you can relish the rest of it. The midnight stroll on a Goa beach. The health scare that wasn't one. The lottery of good conversation. Here, I'm sharing a few things that hold true for me.

1. You will be distinguished by your talent but remembered for how you loved. Your talent can be anything at all -- fly-fishing, how you cast and where; or you may write a blog, read and followed by millions. Only your talent -- how you scrubbed a particular strength down to its essence -- will be honestly celebrated. But to be remembered you must love well. Some people define immortality by a statue in a park (about statues in a park: only pigeons give a shit). In truth, the only kind of immortality to aspire to is how deeply you loved; if one single person remembers you fairly then you are already immortal in their memory of you. This is enough.

2. Whether you have an affair that lasts a lifetime or a weekend, know that loving someone is a largely moral act. Love is a feeling, an impulse, a behavior, even an aesthetic realizing itself. But the underlying fabric of love is a moral one. To be entrusted with the custody of another life -- a sibling, a lover, a parent -- is a way for you to understand how your morality transacts with the mortality of the other. If you are unable to be moral take the easier route: Be compassionate. That always works.

3. I've known the super rich and the very famous. And it means nothing at all. Don't fall for the farce of associative power. You are not the people you hang with. But the company you avoid defines you. This includes friends, work colleagues, and yes, even the tiresome members of your extended family. Eliminating people gently, discreetly is an art, and you must learn this early on. Otherwise, too much of your adult life will be devoted to avoiding people you don't like, and not enough of your hours can be spent with the ones you are provident enough to love.

4. It might appear on Facebook or Whatsapp that your friends have more friends than you do. Or that, tonight, they're having more fun than you ever will. That's ok. They are only filling their vile hours with vodka shots at 3 am; in truth, they can't stand each other. And if it weren't for Instagram, they'd look like a pack of raccoons. If you enter your life thinking it's a popularity contest then you've lost already. Don't fear being alone: Your company is best gift you can give yourself. And a man who is not afraid of being alone often also has the best company to give to others.

[loli phabay]

1. mine would be, live with no regrets. simples