hi! new guy here and wow you guys seem to have a little gender war here.

[tillikum]

been browsing and this was an interesting and very disturbing list of "abusive" behaiviors from a pinned thread.....elsewhere.

while some are common sense (hits you, belittles you) some of this is lunacy:

http://www.cdh.org/medical-services/services-a-z/emergency/domestic-abuse/abusive-behavior-checklist.aspx

Some of my favorites:

"Withholds approval, appreciation or affection

Makes contradictory demands

Breaks dates and cancels plans without reason

Comes home at late hours refusing an explanation"

Its' like anything other that indentured servitude to your spouse is abuse now. Fuck that. Relationships are give and take.

[Warren DeMontague]

1. There are people on this board who are deeply invested in the idea of one, but this group isn't the

place for it.

Nor is anyone in this group likely to be maneuvered into a position where others can disingenously portray their words -not that anyone on DU would try to do such a thing - as "defending domestic abuse".

Frankly, my read is that most of the people in this group find the tired shtick of the "DU Gender Wars" repetitive, played out, lame, and boring.

That said, I think that those particular examples from that list, taken by themselves, do not always indicate "abuse" but certainly may likely indicate at best a shitty relationship.

[tillikum]

2. fair point but outside looking in...

I'll take your word for it and watch it play out I suppose.

[Warren DeMontague]

3. It's been done before.

Trust me. You might find other hobbies more rewarding. People here don't really fall for it anymore.

[rrneck]

4. DU is like a church with a half dozen different sacred texts. nt

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

5. There is no gender war here

There are other places fully engaged in a battle with themselves over it.

[Blue_Tires]

6. how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

[LadyHawkAZ]

7. No, the gender war ended in March

What we have now is more like Occupy Gender: some little camps for everyone to look at, but not a lot of action.

[HappyMe]

8. That's funny.

An occasional empty water bottle is flung, but that's about it.

I'm glad that it's over.

[Warren DeMontague]

9. Hmmmm.... I don't know. I take the long view.

A thorough search of the DU archives will show that many of the same characters were starting the exact same flamefests, 10 years ago.

The only thing that's changed is, more people see through it and just don't play along.

[loli phabay]

10. no its a strategic ceasefire until the participants get more propaganda from the dvorkians

Probuably beamed straight from the mothership circling uranus.

[Gore1FL]

11. Mothership?

Sounds like a matriarchy to me!

[loli phabay]

12. more like a hive with a queen like red ants or bees.