Pinellas pastor led ring that stole $1.4M in Home Depot goods, officials say

[Zorro]

A Pinellas County pastor, his wife and others are accused of stealing over $1.4 million worth of home improvement merchandise from Home Depot stores across Florida and reselling the goods on eBay, state officials said.

Robert Dell, 56, also “forced vulnerable people” to take part in the scheme, Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody announced this week.

A news release from Moody’s office said Dell is a pastor at The Rock Church in St. Petersburg and the founder of a halfway house serving people recovering from drug addiction. But a note on the homepage of The Rock Church’s website says Dell hasn’t been pastor there for more than two years.

The news release names four other people as co-conspirators in the case: Jaclyn Dell, 39, who is Robert Dell’s wife; Karen Dell, 72, who is Robert Dell’s mother; Jessica Wild, 40; and Daniel Mace, 36.

https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2023/08/11/pinellas-pastor-florida-theft-ring-home-depot-ebay-merchandise/

[OAITW r.2.0]

1. Not all pastors have the verbal acuity to fleece the flock.

Many must resort to other criminal means.

[3Hotdogs]

4. Like I always sez,

only sheeple need a pastor.

[marble falls]

2. "Lord he'ps him what he'ps his self."

[Drum]

3. Oliver Twist: Fagin

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fagin

Fagin /ˈfeɪɡɪn/ is a fictional character and the secondary antagonist in Charles Dickens's 1838 novel Oliver Twist. In the preface to the novel, he is described as a "receiver of stolen goods". He is the leader of a group of children (the Artful Dodger and Charley Bates among them) whom he teaches to make their livings by pickpocketing and other criminal activities, in exchange for shelter. A distinguishing trait is his constant and insincere use of the phrase "my dear" when addressing others. At the time of the novel, he is said by another character, Monks, to have already made criminals out of "scores" of children. Nancy, who is the lover of Bill Sikes (the novel's lead villain), is confirmed to be Fagin's former pupil.

Fagin is a confessed miser who, despite the wealth that he has acquired, does very little to improve the squalid lives of the children he guards, or his own. In the second chapter of his appearance, it is shown (when talking to himself) that he cares less for their welfare, than that they do not "peach" (inform) on him and the other children. Still darker sides to the character's nature are shown when he beats the Artful Dodger for not bringing Oliver back; in his attempted beating of Oliver for trying to escape; and in his own involvement with various plots and schemes throughout the story. He indirectly but intentionally causes the death of Nancy by falsely informing Sikes that she had betrayed him, when in reality she had shielded Sikes from the law, whereupon Sikes kills her. Near the end of the book, Fagin is captured and sentenced to be hanged, in a chapter that portrays him as pitiable in his anguish.

[Skittles]

5. livestreamed sermons on morality

sounds like a repuke to me

[Zorro]

6. Mugshot

[Chainfire]

7. Some people just look natural in orange.

[onethatcares]

8. whoops

he wasn't a drag queen

Jesus wept