Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

ChazII

(6,321 posts)
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 06:48 PM Apr 2020

Wearing a mask I picked up my son's ashes

and brought him back home. My friend who drove me also had her mask. When we arrived in the parking lot we called the Research for Life office. Their person came out gloved and masked and gave us the box containing his ashes. My son is now home.

55 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Wearing a mask I picked up my son's ashes (Original Post) ChazII Apr 2020 OP
Oh so sorry. What a dreary day MaryMagdaline Apr 2020 #1
I'm very sorry about your son. dewsgirl Apr 2020 #2
Peace be with you ChazII Blue Owl Apr 2020 #3
I am so sorry Ohiogal Apr 2020 #4
I am so sorry UpInArms Apr 2020 #5
I am so sorry, Chaz. sheshe2 Apr 2020 #6
I am so sorry ChazII, peacebuzzard Apr 2020 #7
Oh, my dear. I am sorry. Squinch Apr 2020 #8
I am so sorry for your loss. cayugafalls Apr 2020 #9
Deepest condolences, Chaz SheltieLover Apr 2020 #10
Oh, my.... Freedomofspeech Apr 2020 #11
Condolences to you and your family. spooky3 Apr 2020 #12
So sorry rurallib Apr 2020 #13
Oh m god, so tragic. secondwind Apr 2020 #14
So sorry for your loss. applegrove Apr 2020 #15
I'm very sorry. What a heartbreaking time. JohnnyLib2 Apr 2020 #16
I'm sorry for your loss mostlyalurker Apr 2020 #17
So sorry mostlyalurker. Laura PourMeADrink Apr 2020 #48
I remember when he passed from brain cancer . Can't imagine this last 30 days or so for you lunasun Apr 2020 #18
. Ptah Apr 2020 #19
I'm so, so sorry democrank Apr 2020 #20
💕💕💕💕 love and kind thoughts MLAA Apr 2020 #21
May grace find you and bring you peace and healing... Moostache Apr 2020 #22
Sending wishes for peace your way. So sorry for your loss. Lonestarblue Apr 2020 #23
My heart goes out to you ChazII. May your son Rest In Peace. iluvtennis Apr 2020 #24
So sorry for your great loss. ancianita Apr 2020 #25
sending you a virtual sagetea Apr 2020 #26
Oh dear Chaz. AllyCat Apr 2020 #27
So so sorry. tavernier Apr 2020 #28
I'm so very sorry sdfernando Apr 2020 #29
I am so very sorry for your loss. Delmette2.0 Apr 2020 #30
Deepest sympathy. Scarsdale Apr 2020 #41
my heart breaks for you Kali Apr 2020 #31
How heartbreaking Danmel Apr 2020 #32
I'm so sorry for your loss. brer cat Apr 2020 #33
Worst hurt ever. I'm so deeply sorry. Duppers Apr 2020 #34
I am so very sorry for your loss. pnwmom Apr 2020 #35
I can't imagine ArizonaLib Apr 2020 #36
He will forever be in your heart, ChazII..... Heartstrings Apr 2020 #37
... defacto7 Apr 2020 #38
So very sorry for your loss. niyad Apr 2020 #39
Sincere condolences to you and your family, ChazII, pazzyanne Apr 2020 #40
I'm so very sorry 😐 nt live love laugh Apr 2020 #42
I'm so very sorry. cate94 Apr 2020 #43
OMG. So sorry! Initech Apr 2020 #44
My Lord ... words cannot express how sorry I am... CaptainTruth Apr 2020 #45
It should NEVER have to be this way. I am so sorry for all that was taken from you ChazII FailureToCommunicate Apr 2020 #46
Omg. How horribly sad. I am so sorry Chazll Laura PourMeADrink Apr 2020 #47
I am so sorry cydney_wong Apr 2020 #49
Thank you everyone for your responses they ChazII Apr 2020 #50
My heart breaks for anyone losing a son or daughter sellitman Apr 2020 #51
I am so sorry ................ May he rest in peace. And may you find some Maraya1969 Apr 2020 #52
I hope your memories help you through this difficult time deek Apr 2020 #53
My tears are all I have to give you. cornball 24 Apr 2020 #54
Thank you. Know that ChazII Apr 2020 #55

mostlyalurker

(37 posts)
17. I'm sorry for your loss
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 08:10 PM
Apr 2020

My mother and I did that drive to the mortuary for my sons ashes in 2013. We still hurt when we remember.

lunasun

(21,646 posts)
18. I remember when he passed from brain cancer . Can't imagine this last 30 days or so for you
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 08:10 PM
Apr 2020

He is home
Take care

Moostache

(10,163 posts)
22. May grace find you and bring you peace and healing...
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 08:27 PM
Apr 2020

I am so very sorry to hear of your pain...may you find the support and love needed to make it pass.

sagetea

(1,439 posts)
26. sending you a virtual
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 08:39 PM
Apr 2020

blanket to wrap around your shoulder to bring you some comfort. I keen with you. It's never easy losing a child. Be in peace.


A-ho~

sage

Delmette2.0

(4,261 posts)
30. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 08:46 PM
Apr 2020

From one mother to another I understand your grief. I lost my son just over 2 years ago.

Scarsdale

(9,426 posts)
41. Deepest sympathy.
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 09:14 PM
Apr 2020

I lost my son 9 years ago, and it still hurts deeply. Words can not describe the pain of losing a child, no matter what their age. Stay strong. My thoughts are with you at this sad time.

pazzyanne

(6,601 posts)
40. Sincere condolences to you and your family, ChazII,
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 09:12 PM
Apr 2020

Take special care of yourselves and each other at this sad time. Know others are here for you.

cydney_wong

(25 posts)
49. I am so sorry
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 10:05 PM
Apr 2020

I have been a DU'er for many years, just never post. When I saw your post, it was like a kick in the gut. It took me back to when I picked up my son and I felt like I had to write to you. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you have support. I want to suggest an article easily found online "The 5 Stages of Grief and Other Lies that Don't help Anyone." The woman who wrote that article, Megan Devine, also wrote a book "It's OK That You're Not OK". It was my bible for 2 years until I lent it to another grieving mother, now it's her bible. The loss of a child, no matter what the age, is such a dreadfully painful experience. It is like no other death in our lives. I know no words can express the pain you are going through, there is simply no comfort. I am thinking of you tonight.

ChazII

(6,321 posts)
50. Thank you everyone for your responses they
Thu Apr 16, 2020, 10:08 PM
Apr 2020

are like a comforting quilt around my shoulders.

As some of you know my son, Jay, was diagnosed back in March of 2019 with a glioblastoma tumor. It is the same tumor that killed Sen. Kennedy, Sen. McCain and Vice President Biden's son. He was given 15 months and passed 2 weeks shy of the one year mark.

When Jay's body was picked up by Research for Life I gave him one last kiss on his forehead. His body was first taken to Barrow Neurological Instute Ivy Tumor Research here in Phoenix. While it is a blind study Jay's brain is going to a study being done by Dr. Nadir Sanai who happened to be his neurosurgeon. The rest of his body was used in an orthopedic study. Jay looked like the Disney version of Quaismodo in Hunchback of Notre Dame. Truly, they could have been brothers.

When the virus started shutting things down I was told his ashes would be held here in the Research for Life facilities. Yesterday, they called and told me I could come and get them. I was so happy that I did not ask why. My only question was could some of the ashes be placed in a necklace one of his friends gave to me. They said that they could do that for me.

The necklace is a TARDIS. Those who know about Dr. Who know what a TARDIS is and what the letters represent. I am thankful/grateful to have him back with me and that while he is no longer with us, all of this crap started last year and I was able to be his side through the surgeries (he had to have a shunt later in 2019) the radiation, cyber knife treatments and that I could be in the hospital 24/7. He was 35.5 years old when he passed.

Again, thank you for your love, your prayers and positive thoughts. They helped me get through 2019, they are helping me now and they will help through the rest of this year. You guys are really the best.

sellitman

(11,671 posts)
51. My heart breaks for anyone losing a son or daughter
Fri Apr 17, 2020, 09:42 AM
Apr 2020

i cannot imagine.

Only once did I face this possibility and it sucked me dry. We were lucky and his brain tumors were removed and benign.

I'm so sorry

Maraya1969

(22,997 posts)
52. I am so sorry ................ May he rest in peace. And may you find some
Fri Apr 17, 2020, 12:43 PM
Apr 2020

peace during this hard time also.

Latest Discussions»Region Forums»Arizona»Wearing a mask I picked u...