Forgive me for getting so deep here, but I read something this morning concerning pet loss...

[LuckyCharms]

I've probably made it pretty clear that I'm having a terribly difficult time with the loss of my dog a few days ago. I can honestly say that I've never felt so bad in my life, and I've experienced plenty of death (both human and animal).

I've been reading that my feelings are natural, because grief tends to be cumulative, and what I'm feeling is grief for both my dog, and all others that have passed in my life. My wife has an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) that offers free mental health counseling. If I'm not out of this acute phase in a couple of weeks, I will avail myself to this program.

I read something this morning that really resonated with me. These words are from a spiritual teacher named AH Almaas.

“Spiritual teacher AH Almaas says that the reason we love our animals so much is that they bring forth essence within us. Essence is the qualities of our own soul. We tend to lose essence over time unless our parents or other people are there to mirror it back to us and remind us of it. We find our essence again within these soulful relationships. When our pets pass on, as they inevitably will, we have to remember the qualities they made us remember within ourselves. This is how our pets live on within us forever. They woke up something important in us that we must never forget.”

[ZDU]

1. You are in my thoughts

I'm sorry for your loss and hope you find peace of mind and healing in your heart

[JoeOtterbein]

2. Perfect....

....thanks for posting!

[JoseBalow]

3. It gets better, Amigo

Hang in there, you are not alone.

[CrispyQ]

4. I think, too, that what's going on in our country magnifies our other losses.

And as we look back at the other animals in our lives, we realize the entire structure of that life has been altered, perhaps forever. It will impact them, too. It already has.

A big virtual hug to you, Lucky, during this difficult time.

[electric_blue68]

36. This makes sense

[Niagara]

5. ...

Losing a beloved fur baby is terrible.

We name them, we feed them, we bath them, we medicate them even when they resist, we play with them and spend time with them all because we love them.

Our fur babies are a part of our family. It's a hard road to get through. I still grieve for all of my feline companions.



I keep this image because it rings true for each of us.

[LuckyCharms]

6. .

[Niagara]

9. That grief will never go away, Lucky

[OldBoss]

7. Wow that's incredible thanks for sharing! ...

I’ve lost dozens of pets thru the years and this lil poem always helps me.

It came to me
that every time I lose a dog
they take a piece
of my heart with them,
and every new dog
who comes into my life
gifts me with a piece
of their heart!
If I live long enough
all the components
of my heart
will become dog, and
I will become
as generous and
loving as they are.

[Wild blueberry]

8. Thank you for the wisdom from Almaas

It resonates with me as well. Our beloved pets give us so much in exchange for our care (and LOVE!) for them.
Please be kind to yourself.

[Lulu KC]

10. A few days ago?

I don't think I'd left my bed yet a few days after my most recent pet death. Give yourself time. It's a profound connection and therefore an immensely painful separation. You have my complete sympathy.

[Felicita]

11. Wonderful post, LC.

I am so devastated when I lose a dog that as soon as I am able to stop crying enough to drive, I go to the local shelters looking for another dog, not to "replace" the one I lost, but in their honor. Adopting a dog that needs a home makes me feel good about helping another loving soul. I take my time to find the right one for me. Not everyone may be in a financial or living situation to do this, but it has worked for me for many years. Training the new dog also gets your mind off your loss and brings back that "essence."

[William Seger]

14. That's the advice I give everyone who has lost a pet -- get another as soon as practical

There's a hole there that needs to be filled, and there's a 100% chance you'll love your new pet, too.

[mdbl]

12. Lost my longtime dog a few months ago

Went and got a new puppy after two weeks. Following him around fills the hole left by my last one. I forgot how in the first year they are like toddlers and need constant supervision to keep them from hurting themselves but the love is nice to have again.

[littlemissmartypants]

13. ❣️

[pansypoo53219]

15. i lost my last long lived cat + i soon got 2 more. i need spares. you need spares.

[BurnDoubt]

16. I feel like Grief is...

the bill coming due for a lifetime of little bits of Joy payed-out over years, and the Love shared in every moment. Your tears are a tribute to a lasting relationship of shared moments and Love, and proof that you are worthy to feel the loss deeply. In time, maybe these memories will hurt less and comfort more. Seek consolation in knowing that you are a person who is capable of Loving deeply and feeling compassion. These are the pinnacle of Human-ness.
I would recommend seeking counsel sooner rather than later. Chances are you may find a guide out of the pain, and it doesn’t make sense to suffer needlessly.
It’s good that you reach out. Don’t stop. People care.

[sinkingfeeling]

17. For you:

"Farewell, Master, Yet not farewell. Where I go, ye, too, shall dwell I am gone, before your face, A moment's time, a little space. When ye come where I have stepped Ye will wonder why ye wept." After Death by Edwin Arnold

[Charlie Chapulin]

18. My deepest condolences.

I’m a dog person. Have had dogs most of my life. They were all great dogs. But this last February, on Friday the 13th no less, I unexpectedly lost my favorite at age 8 to cancer. I cried for weeks and still shed a tear here and there. I’ve been to too many memorials this year as well, and haven’t been moved as much as with the loss of my sweet Raqui. It’s that damned unconditional love.
You’ll get through it. You’ll dream of your pooch and it will make you smile. Dogs are the best.

[mountain grammy]

19. We adopted our most recent dog in February

She wouldn't even let us pet her at the shelter.. we took her home anyway.

6 years old and a sketchy life behind her.. who knows why she cringes at loud noises or cowers when you pet her? but ever so slowly and gradually, she's letting go and letting us love her..
It's 90 degrees out and time to take her to the park.. Her big outing for the day with me hobbling on my cane, but oh how I'm falling in love with this little girl..

She will probably be my last dog.. We will face old age together, me and my Penny, and, of course, my husband.

[h2ebits]

20. My heart goes out to you. . . .

I believe that grief is cumulative and at some point in each of our lives we can have a triggering event that swamps us.

In my case, it was my brother's death. While it happened during the COVID shutdown period; it was unrelated to COVID but was sudden and unexpected. He took a nap one Sunday afternoon, woke up, and told his wife to call for an ambulance. He walked out to the ambulance when it arrived. In just under a week he died. I still have moments of grieving for him.

Although my trigger was my brother, I found myself grieving past my brother into all of the losses I had sustained over the years including pets and other people. I still shed a tear or two when I think of him.

Please give yourself the time to grieve until all the tears are spent and you sort through all of your memories.

[LuckyCharms]

26. I'm so sorry. I feel you...my brother died of Covid in 2021 and my dog's death is

making me grieve my brother as well.

Such an intense phenomenon.

[h2ebits]

32. Indeed. . . .

As you move through this intense period of grief, your DU friends will be by your side to help in anyway we can. It's another inflection point on your life line. Please cry as much as you want and take long walks in the woods or any other spot where you will be surrounded by nature (I use my local Botanic Garden and Zoo) and remember that you have helping hands along the way.

[catchnrelease]

21. Phew!

Your post is so timely for me.
I had to make the decision last Tues. Our little old lady pup had fought off cancer for 3 years, but the drugs no longer worked and there were no more to try. I kept postponing calling the vet to come, but in the end I know it was cruel to keep her going. I could see she was starting to struggle.
She was almost 14yrs, so she'd had a good life with us, but this one has really hit me hard. I don't know why I felt closer to her than all of the previous pets--dogs, cats, horses, etc--but maybe the answer is in your post.
I assume we'll eventually get another furry family member, but not for awhile. I still need to cry out of the blue sometimes until thinking of her makes me laugh instead of weep.
I have a meme (that I can't get to post) that says:
Having a dog will bless you with the happiest days of your life, and one of the worst days.
100% true.

[LuckyCharms]

25. I'm so sorry...

Mine was this past Tuesday as well.

Diagnosed with bladder cancer July 2025. Anti-inflammatory drugs kept him alive for almost another full year.

His back legs gave out on him suddenly on Monday night. And he would not urinate.

Looking at the way he kept falling, it appeared to be a spinal problem. I'm thinking the cancer spread to his spine.

He passed gently with an injection at the vets, with his head in my hands.

He was so gentle...such a good boy. A few hours before we took him to the vet, I was holding him in the living room chair and his paw left some scratch marks on the fabric on the arm of the chair. I spent an hour today with my hand resting on those scratch marks.

He was a few weeks shy of age 15. He had a happy life.

I feel your pain, and i wish I could take it away for you.

[catchnrelease]

29. Thanks

Sending hugs to you. Sounds like there were a lot of similarities between our situations. Hang in there and let's keep thinking of what good dogs they were.

[Diamond_Dog]

22. I'm so sorry, Lucky. Been there twice before.

It’s the only bad thing about owning a pet.

I hope the pain eventually lessens. Please accept my deepest condolences. Thank you for sharing the wisdom of that teacher. I’m probably gonna need it in a few years.

[Ilikepurple]

23. My condolences lucky. Your explanation makes sense of my recent experience.

I euthanized a pet of 16 years a few months ago who was at the end of losing a 4 year battle with dementia. It was not my first experience holding a pet during this process, but something changed since I last did it. I had lost more friends, both parents, other family members. Like you, I was concerned about the outsized waves of sadness that followed. It felt cumulative to a degree I hadn’t experienced before. It was as though I relived the emotional responses to those deaths and my understanding of mortality and loss was reified into visceral feelings marked by rumination and dread that in turn informed my understanding. I felt this feedback loop was a danger to my mental health and shared my worries and monitored their progress. Thankfully, the waves subsided and it seems my levels of grief and preoccupation is within the typical range now. I hope you find things easier as the days pass. Thank you for sharing.

[LuckyCharms]

27. Oh my...you nailed my feelings exactly.

Exactly.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Bumbles]

24. Anyone who has given his heart to another being understands what you are going through, Lucky.

I still mourn all my cats and dogs that left too soon - they all do, no matter their age. I have often thought how wonderful it would be if they could live as long as tortoises and parrots. That they don't makes them even more precious.

[PittBlue]

28. Sending you love and peace.

They asked:
“Why does losing a pet hurt so much?"
I said:
Because they were never just a pet.
They were a heartbeat at your feet, a silent companion through every storm, a soul who loved you more than they loved themselves.
When they go, they take a part of you with them. But they
leave behind all the love they gave-and that's what keeps you breathing.
- Rainbow Bridge

[The Roux Comes First]

30. Whoa, Thanks for Sharing That, LuckyCharms! It Definitely Hit a Nerve.

So sorry for your pet's demise.

[buzzycrumbhunger]

31. It's not fair

… that our furbabies live such short lives compared to ours to begin with, but even knowing that, it’s ALWAYS a big blow.

That initial hole in your life does scab over, though, and invariably another one will come to fill the gap. Every dog and cat I’ve had has succeeded in easing the pain of that hole and filling in another I didn’t know I had. Every new one immediately has me wondering why I waited so long to welcome a new one.

I think it’s almost worse having pets who will outlive you… I have four parrots (two orange wing Amazons and two African greys) who can live 80-100 years and I’m more concerned about how my kids will have to take up that mantle (daughter wants the Amazons because they’re smaller and less scary to her, son will get the greys).

[Bayard]

33. A Dog's Last Will & Testament.....

Before humans die, they write their last Will & Testament, give their home & all they have, to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I’d ask…

To a poor & lonely stray, I’d give my happy home. My bowl & cozy bed, soft pillows and all my toys.
The lap, which I loved so much, the tender, loving touch.
The hand that stroked my fur & sweet voice which called my name.
I’d will to the sad, scared shelter dog, the place I had in my human’s loving heart of which there seemed no bounds.

So, when I die, please do not say, “I will never have a pet again, for the loss and pain is more than I can stand.” Instead, go find an unloved dog. One who’s life has held no joy or hope, and give MY place to HIM.

This is the only thing that I can give… The Love I left behind.

[applegrove]

35. That is beautiful.

[electric_blue68]

37. Some wonderful thoughts by that person. Another hug for you, LC.

I hope you'll be feeling at least a little better in a few weeks.
But good to know you'll avail yourself of help of you need it.

And the accumulation theory makes absolute sense.
Treat yourself extra gentle.

[Timeflyer]

38. Condolences on your loss. Beautiful, resonant quote.

[FakeNoose]

39. This is very insightful, thanks for sharing it

I went through something similar last year when I lost my dog Buddy. I still miss him and think about him every day, but the pain of loss is finally receding a little.

[TygrBright]

40. Thanks so much for sharing that, LC.

It gave me an "aha!" moment.

Our spiritual natures require connection to manifest - and since connection with a Divine Creator is so difficult or so tainted with human garbage for many of us, connection with creation is a critical aspect of nurturing our spiritual natures. The love of our non-human companions, so present and unconditional and individual to them, is a very special spiritual gift.

gratefully,
Bright

[hamsterjill]

41. All I know is that from the time I came out of the womb...

I've been more happy around animals than I have people. Grew up on a ranch around all kinds of animals and was raised by a father who could literally talk to them. He understood well before his time that each kind of living thing on this earth is dependent on another, and ALL are to be respected.

I have lost many through my rescue efforts, and let me tell you this: Each one of them took a piece of me with them when they left. Because I had freely given each one a piece of me while they were here. If you aren't capable of doing that very thing, then you don't deserve to be loved by animals.

Lucky, as I've already told you, I am always so grateful to know that one was loved so well and cared for. Your grief tells me that your baby was part of the family, and that's how it should be. I am genuinely sorry that you are hurting, but I totally understand and if you'll allow me, I'll hurt a little for you.

The quote you mentioned is amazing. They do wake up the best qualities in us and arouse the soul. I hope you will do whatever you feel is best so that you can move forward and deal with the grief - in your own way and in your own time.

And when the time is right - and only YOU will know this - I am betting that there's going to be an opportunity for you to give of yourself again. It may be another pet, it may be that you decide to get back into your own rescue efforts - WHATEVER...but I know you will. There are so many that need us, that I know you're going to find ways to make a difference for one (or more) that needs it.

Be kind to yourself today, Lucky. Will you do that for me?

[LuckyCharms]

43. Jill...

This grief is absolutely fucking nuts.

His passing was a trigger for every past trauma. I crashed out in the year 2000 with serious major depression that took me a few decades to completely recover from, and now it's back, and it's scaring the hell out of me. I don't have the strength to help myself out of this and I'm literally hiding from my wife because I can't put her through this.

So I type here to people I've never met in person.

My dog's passing is understandable to me on an intellectual level, but not on an emotional level. And his passing is just a trigger for everything else that has happened in my life.

I need a shrink. Haven't seen one in years (he's now retired), and I don't have the energy to try to find another one.

I've always been a Christian, but not a hardcore one. I'm reaching to to my perception of who God is, and I feel guilty for even doing that because I feel like I'm developing "foxhole religion"...using faith as a crutch because things are grim right now.

This shit is just too horrible for words.

Your words hit me right in the heart...in a good way. Thank you.

I'm going to back off the PC for a bit. I have to get my body moving. Heading a few doors down to take care of a woman's downed tree limbs.

I appreciate you, Jill.

[hamsterjill]

44. You are putting good back into the world even as you grieve, Lucky.

You are an Angel to that woman with the downed tree limbs. Trust me…I know this. I have someone coming to my house later today for an electrical issue. He and his wife are good friends and he helps me out when he can. He’s a retired electrician and animal lover - both of them are. I love and appreciate them for helping me.


Like you, I’m a Christian but not a mainstream one. I think it’s only natural to think of one’s faith when something horrible happens.

You are correct to do whatever you need to get through this. There is no right or wrong. Just what you need to help you. I just want you to be okay.

[EuterpeThelo]

42. The pets

that come into our lives choose us for a reason. It's the devil's bargain knowing when we begin the journey with them that they don't have our lifespan, so we're setting ourselves up for this level of pain...but it's so, so worth it, being able to give them a wonderful life in the time in between, no matter how long that ends up being. (Believe me when I say I understand; in March, I helped my sixth kitty cross over the rainbow bridge, and this one was my soul cat, my familiar.)

And, do avail yourself of the EAP if you can. This is coming from someone who, honestly, didn't believe much in therapy until my losses accumulated to the point that it was no longer fair to expect my friends/family to shoulder my pain on their own. Nothing can take the pain away, but they may give you some healthier coping mechanisms or ask you questions that will make you think.

Hugs, love and light to you, LuckyCharms.