I had a deep, profound conversation with my wife this Sunday morning.
Her: I ordered myself some new socks this morning online.
Me: Oh, that's nice.
Her: I bought two new bras too.
Me: That's good.
Her: They were on sale. $25 a piece.
Me: That's good.
Me: I don't know how you women walk around with those things.
Her: What things?
Me: Breasts.
Her: What do you mean?
Me: I dunno. Seems like they would be a pain in the ass. And then you have to wear a bra...I dunno...seems like a lot of work to me.
Her: It's probably not as bad as having to walk around with a penis.
Me: It's not the penis that's a problem.
Her: What is the problem then?
Me: The testicles.
Her: Why?
Me: When men age, gravity takes over, and you end up sitting on them.
Her: Really?
Me: Yes. That's why you hear me randomly scream once in awhile.
Her: I didn't know that.
Me: Yeah, when I test drove the new car, I had to ensure that the seats were at the right level so I didn't sit on my nuts when getting into the car. That was my main criteria when choosing a new car...that I didn't sit on my nuts when getting in.
Her: Wow.
Me: Yeah.
Her: Well, I'm off to church. I'll see you later.
= new reply since forum marked as read
after 34 years of marriage. 
I don't remember what was going on in our lives, at the time, but my sweetie and I hadn't had dinner together for some time.
He says to me... "Isn't this great? We are going to have a romantic dinner together!"
I say..."Yes, it is!"
He opens the paper and says to me....."You want the front page or valley and state (section of the paper)?"
I say..."valley and state, please"
...told to me by my now 36 yr old older son when he was 12.
He came home from school one day and asked, "Mom, is it OK if I tell you a dirty joke?" "Sure," I replied.
Q: What did one saggy breast say to the other?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."
I thought it was really funny, and told it to the staff nurses at the peds office where I worked. They were all of a vintage to be able to relate to the imagery. I told my son that the nurses at my office had really enjoyed his joke.
In horror, he said, "Mom! You didn't tell them that I made that up, did you?" I assured him that I'd only told them that he'd relayed it to me. I was rather amused that he did not want to take credit for the cleverness of the joke.
This thread has me snorting thru my nose - 
Breasts are mainly made up of fat but has some glan and fibrous tissue.
I thought I was done "growing" once, but I was 16 or 17 and got a last minute growth spurt in my breasts. It was painful. It felt like someone had punched me and continued to punch me in that area for days. This had never happened to me before.
I can't speak for any other ladies but I stopped buying underwire bras a long time ago. When that wire starts coming through the material it's quite painful getting stabbed with that underwire. There's a certain place where I buy the most inexpensive and comfortable bras.
The issue isn't walking around with breasts, it's unexpected growth spurts and uncomfortable bras.
And once we're at home and we don't have to back out in public, we generally just take the bra off. That's when gravity of the situation turns real for us!
So in reading this it sounds like we generally all have some sort of gravity issues!
You may know by now that I'm kind of oblivious to things. I'm usually thinking of 6 things at once, which means I'm not really paying attention to any one thing.
Our conversation this morning was kind of a continuation of last night, because I was all hassled up last night over something and my mind was wandering.
She approached me with a tape measure and asked me to measure the circumference of the bottom band of the bra she was wearing because she was going to buy some new ones.
So, I did that, and while I was doing that, I took notice of her bra and noticed the underwire (again, I never really pay much attention to things like that). I kept my mouth shut, but I thought to myself "How in the hell do people wear things like this"?
I'm sorry to read about your growth spurt, because that actually does sound very painful.
To the best of my knowledge, I've never experienced a growth spurt in my testicles, because you know me...I'd be on here complaining about it! You would see an OP something like "JESUS CHRIST, MY TESTICLES JUST TRIPLED IN SIZE! HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE"?
There was an image that I wanted to share but I can't find it in my photo hoard.
Anyway, a wife's underwire came out of her bra in the the washing machine. The husband found the underwire and was clueless and thought that the wife's underwire was a part of the washing machine falling apart. He investigated the washing machine for awhile. I wonder how often the wife let this go on for to be honest.
So don't feel bad about being "oblivious".
Apparently it's lawn mowing day and I haven't had a shower yet. I had to move the hummingbird feeder because when my SO moves the feeder he empties the feeder by moving the entire shepard's hook. I have to make another batch of hummingbird feed today anyways but I had to put on a bra to go outside and move stuff around.
Yeah, I never had anything like that happen to me like that growth spurt. I'll never forget about that I'm sure.
Oh, Lucky! I could see you doing something like that too!
That's so funny about the washing machine!
I'm laughing as I read that you had to put a bra on to go outside! My wife has a fit that I'm constantly outside in my underwear and a shirt...conversing with people face-to-face.
I wear boxer briefs, and my shirts are long enough to pretty much cover anything "noticeable", so in my way of thinking, the underwear just looks like shorts, but my wife has a fit...YOU NEED TO STOP GOING OUTSIDE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!
Good for you for taking care of the hummingbirds...they're the best!
I always run into neighbors while I'm outside and always converse face-to-face.
Making hummingbird food is on my to do list today. I'm also looking for a particular notebook as well, which one I don't know. 
Sometimes I walk around the house with just a t-shirt and underpants on. I figured it's my house and I'll wear what I want. Then I'll step out on the porch to check the mail and from the front, it looks like I have a T-shirt and short shorts on. But when I turn back to go in the house, it's obvious I'm wearing a T-shirt and underwear with no pants.
So far, the neighbors haven't complained, at least not to me.
