I am sorry, but I have created another GoFundMe to try and help with my current situation.

[OldBaldy1701E]

I really did not want to do this, as I feel like such a slime for even asking for help.

We need some help because bills are piling up and my medical situation is not going to get any better.

Now, I am aware that most of us are not doing well. Which is why I feel so crappy about even asking.

If anyone can help, I would appreciate it. If anyone wants to berate me for even asking, go right ahead. I do not deserve anything, nor can I repay anyone for any of it, since I doubt I will make it to this time next year. But, it will help my husband recover from being connected to me, since I am obviously such poison to every aspect of our society. (I mean, based on the things that have happened to me over my life, that seems to be the only rational conclusion.)

As I have stated before, I am not a salesperson, and I have no desire to be. I know that this is the difference between getting a few dollars, and getting more, but I would rather skin myself with a dull knife than try to be a 'hype-man'. I can only ask for any help that might be out there. If there is none, then so be it. I am about done with this entire fantasy, to be honest. I never asked to be a curse on the planet, and I doubt any relief will be had until it is all over.

https://gofund.me/bc41e2b13

[niyad]

1. kick, and I hope you can get the help you need.

[OldBaldy1701E]

7. Thank you. (n/t)

[LuckyCharms]

2. C'mon over here, OldBaldy...

have a seat next to me.

I'm going to talk to you like your drunk uncle at a party who has had 8 Jack and Cokes and is slurring his words.

First of all, never be afraid to ask for help. Never. You are not asking for much anyway.

Secondly, you're not a curse, you're not a burden. You are here for a fucking reason, even if you don't know that reason. (hic! Hey, bring me another drink, wouldja?) .

You get my drift?

So get that "curse" shit right out of your head.

I donate to pretty much every DU Go Fund Me anonymously. I can only donate very small amounts, because I'm pretty much fucking broke and live on debt, but I donate, and I donated a small amout to you (donated what I could afford).

Hic!

So you other DUer's, help OldBaldy out. Even if you can only give a few bucks (hic!).

Take it from your old drunk uncle here...NEVER put yourself down. NEVER! Got it? I'm a Christian (albiet a shitty Christian) and I believe God put you here for a reason. No matter what your faith, (or even your absence of any faith at all)...you need to believe that you are here for a reason that you can't see yet.

Hang tough Baldy, and best wishes!!

PS - I don't drink alcohol, but I've been given "the talk" by plenty of drunk uncles, so I can mirror their spiel pretty well.

Seriously...good luck. You're going to be ok.

[OldBaldy1701E]

6. Well, I don't have much time left, so if there is a reason, it had better become apparent real soon.

I appreciate the kind words. I really do.

Reality does not seem to agree with you, but I do appreciate it.

Also... just eight drinks?

You are not one of my Irish-descended uncles... they would have had that much before they even arrived at Grandma's house!



(P.S.: I do not like asking for help because there are so many out there in worse straits than I am in, and, they actually have potential. They are not lost causes like I am. They deserve to be helped. I have nothing to offer anymore. They do.)

[LuckyCharms]

9. There have been countless times in my life...

when I thought I was a goner.

When I thought I had nothing to live for.

And then, inevitably, WITHOUT FAIL, AND EVERY SINGLE TIME, something would happen that would pull me out of the horrid abyss just enough to make me see that I was wrong.

I'm trying my hardest here to make you understand something...

You have saved someone's life...and you might never even know who, or why. You may never be made aware of it.

You flashed a quick smile at someone one day when they were thinking of killing themselves, and your smile stopped them. Don't believe me? Trust me, it's true, and it's something that you were not meant to be made cognizant of.

Someone in this world thinks that you are the cat's ass (that is a term that is used as a high compliment in my area of the world)...and they are never going to tell you that they think you are the cat's ass...but they truly believe that you are.

It's human nature to believe that we can't pull through when we are sick...but people pull through every day when things are looking their bleakest.

You're strong enough to type. You're husband loves you, even though it may not feel like he does right now. You may be fighting, you may be arguing, but he loves you. Conflict is part of love. Without true love and caring, there can be no conflict.

I read your Go Fund Me and I can sense how you are feeling right now...because I've been there, Old Baldy, and I've always pulled through.

And you will always pull through now. I promise you that you will pull through.

Don't you fucking dare make me wrong about this!

You're going to be alright, I promise you. And money isn't going to be the thing that makes you alright. A better car isn't the thing that is going to make you alright. YOU are what is going to make you alright.

It's a beautiful world. OldBaldy. And you are part of that beautiful world. And the world would be less beautiful without you in it.

I speak from my heart, and I believe what I am telling you. I hope you believe these truths as well.

[OldBaldy1701E]

16. "...and it's something that you were not meant to be made cognizant of."

Then, there is a problem, because that is the one thing I desperately need right now.



These days, I don't see any reason to 'pull through'. That is the problem. I have nothing left to give. I had my shot (pitiful as it was, I guess) and I failed. I don't see any reason to keep on failing and making other lives more troublesome because of my presence. I don't see that anything I have ever done has meant anything. Certainly the things that I find very important in my life as well as other lives don't seem to have any value to anyone else. Sure, things pass. But they just pass into more bad things when I am around.

How many times does one have to crash into a wall before they realize they need to stop trying to drive the vehicle?

And money isn't going to be the thing that makes you alright. A better car isn't the thing that is going to make you alright

Well, I agree, but then again I did not create the society where having money and a better car does make things alright. Unfortunately, that is the society that we live in. You are correct in saying that I am the one that has to make me alright. But, I don't feel any desire in that way. I don't see any reason to. That is why I say what I say at the top. I need some proof that my existence did something... anything... worthwhile. Not in the 'fame and fortune' sense, but in the 'made the world a better place' sense.

Yes, it is a beautiful world. I just don't see anything that I have done has added to said beauty. I was certainly trying to. Hell, as a performer, that is pretty much what we are called to do. But, I failed.

And, that fact has destroyed my soul.

[LuckyCharms]

22. I'm trying to understand your situation a bit better so I could perhaps offer better advice.

You're in Minnesota?

Does your spouse have medical insurance, and since you are married, do you qualify for spousal coverage under his policy?

If so, is his policy decent, or bare bones?

If you are not covered under his policy, are you covered under your own policy? If so, is your policy decent, or bare bones?

[question everything]

3. I will help but will his be enough?

Medical bills will continue to pile. Are there no agencies that can step in to ease it?

I am not a social worker but I hope that someone here can direct you to appropriate sources.

[OldBaldy1701E]

5. All the resources have said 'Sorry!'.

Federal, state, county... because we go over the minimum income by like one hundred dollars, we are not eligible for anything. They won't even give us SNAP.

Face it, I am not important enough, or rich enough, to warrant any action.

[dflprincess]

4. United Way has some help available for paying bills:

https://211.org/get-help/i-need-help-paying-my-bills

Have you checked with your hospital/clinic system to see if it was a fund for helping with out of pockets? My brother was able to get help from Park Nicollet when he had cancer.

[OldBaldy1701E]

8. Unless they can pay for it all, there is nothing to ask about.

I do not have the money necessary to go see the doctor for a routine visit, much less being able to go to all these specialists that they are referring me to. (Of course, most of them are not in my 'plan', and my plan does not cover anything other than simple visits anyway.)

I have spoken to my primary location a few times about my situation ,and I just get different faces giving me the 'I don't know what to tell you' look. They are willing to 'work with me' on the bills. They are not willing to understand that I cannot and will not be able to pay them. Ever. So, that means I get nothing but sad looks and dismissive gestures.

And, of course, more bills.

[questionseverything]

27. " work with me on bills" means they will accept payments

Try and negotiate down the balance of any debt and then send them 5 bucks a month, I have had many doctors offices tell me they would write off my debt, not because I paid so much but because I paid regularly

Kick and bump for the 4th

[tanyev]

10. Donated and wishing the best for you.

[OldBaldy1701E]

17. Thank you so much. (n/t)

[irisblue]

11. Bump

[OldBaldy1701E]

18. Thank you. (n/t)

[questionseverything]

12. Kicking 🦵

[OldBaldy1701E]

19. Thank you very much. (n/t)

[Ilikepurple]

14. Donated and hope things look up for both of you going forward.

Rereplied, hopefully to Oldbaldy instead of questioneverything this time. Thanks QE for drawing attention to another this or I would have missed it.

[OldBaldy1701E]

20. Thanks, and I like purple as well.

Our living room has plenty of it!

[question everything]

28. Thank you! Seems we are half way there!

[Figarosmom]

15. I concur with Lucky..i will do what i can

[OldBaldy1701E]

21. It is appreciated. (n/t)

[question everything]

23. kick for the Fourth

[CaliforniaPeggy]

24. I donated and I hope it will help!

[OldBaldy1701E]

30. Thank you!

I hope you are recovering well?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

33. You're very welcome, my dear OldBaldy1701E!

My recovery is glacial but it does continue. Thank you for asking!

[Jacson6]

25. Don't feel bad. When I had a heart attack luckily my family chipped in. I'm just going to pay it forward for you.

[OldBaldy1701E]

31. It is appreciated! (n/t)

[UpInArms]

26. Stay strong, my friend

All will be whatever it will be, but you are loved

[OldBaldy1701E]

32. Thank you! (n/t)

[question everything]

29. Another kick

[question everything]

34. Kick. We can do this

[OldBaldy1701E]

35. Gods, I feel like I should give a salary to QE for all the work they are doing on my behalf.

I can give a big hug and a kiss as well as push my hubby over for one as well (he is not exactly the life of the party when he is in a crowd)!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

[question everything]

36. I posted on the Persoal Finance Group

https://www.democraticunderground.com/11216998

addressing the ones with retirement accounts that have done well.

I hope that once some return from their weekend vacations and get their quarterly statements will help.

Of course, the ruling corrupt family could...

Will get there.