The night where nothing went as planned.

[BlueKota]

So my sister and I had plans to attend a concert last night, by a Carpenters cover band. The website of the venue said the show was from eight to ten. So my sister pre-ordered our meals to be delivered by 6:15. Well turns out the actual tickets said 7 to 9 for the concert. We went back to the website and saw they had changed it. Then we kept getting notices that our delivery would be delayed, so we had to leave, to make it to the event.

Well we sat through the first hour of the concert. The main singer's voice wasn't too bad, but she sounded nothing like Karen, and she was really loud. More than a few times I saw my sister covering her ear, and the loudness was getting to me too. I think whomever did the sound checks, messed up. Plus the guy singing Richard's stuff really didn't sing very well. Then came intermission.

My sister got a text that the restaurant had canceled our order because of a mistake made by their kitchen. We were both hungry and not enjoying ourselves, so we made the joint decision to leave. We saw 8 other cars pulling out as well, so we didn't feel as guilty. We ended up going through Wendy's drive through. We ate then my sister headed home.

Oh well, at least we had a good laugh about our plans going to heck.

[Traildogbob]

1. Wow. You took

It all very well. I need a lot of your patience these days. I find myself raging about minor things. Road rage is off the charts, especially if the instigating car has trump crap on it as they cut you off.
Just walking through the VA parking for an appointment seeing all the trump stickers. Hoping I calm down before my Doc visit for BP check.
Good on you. Share any helpful hints you have for a good outlook in bad events.
I hate living like this. All because of ………….. you know who.

[BlueKota]

2. The raging is understandable.

The current havoc and distress being caused by he who shall remain nameless, takes a toll on most of us. My sister has always had a bit of road rage, but it's gotten worse than normal lately. Believe me I have my moments too.

The thing that has helped me, deal with the anger, frustration, and anxiety, are things I have learned through a combination of life experiences, good advice, and a lot of therapy. I most often go into distract mode. When I feel the more distressing emotions start to kick up, I give myself a short window of time to acknowledge it, curse a blue streak in private about whomever, or whatever is causing it, then I go do something like play an internet game, or listen to an audio book or music, while doing household chores.

If I am with others, when it happens, I start paying attention more to my surroundings, like looking at the trees, and the sky, or smelling the scent of food coming from a kitchen. It doesn't make whatever upset me go away completely, but it allows my emotions to settle down enough, so they don't overwhelm me completely. In therapy they called it Dialectical Behavior Therapy. The therapists told me it's about the science of the brain, and training it to switch which side of the brain is in control. It hasn't helped me 100 percent, but I'd say it works about 70 percent of the time.

Also I have started to try and find some positive things even when things go wrong. Like last night I was happy that my sister, and I were in sync about leaving the concert early, and going through the drive through. We often disagree with each other, so it was a nice change. Also I thought I get to go home, take my dog out, and go to bed earlier than I planned. Those things all lifted my mood.

Hope this helps some. Hope you're blood pressure check goes well.

[Traildogbob]

4. Thank you so much

All great advice. Mine temperament has had a huge negative turn, after having my Achilles detached then reattached. Had surgery September. Live alone and confined to the house, crawling on all fours for two months. I can hobble upright now, Still full boot, no weight on the heel with no chance of getting into the woods with my lab,
That has always been my escape, off trail, exploring and just enjoying all the knowledge of those forests after teaching 30 years, Forest ecology.
That escape is still a way off, and the never ending ever growing hell has taken a toll.
Your advise is great, and I will focus on it all until I can escape back to my massive surrounding forest.
Thank you, many cheers and best wishes to you.

[BlueKota]

6. Hope your recovery continues to progress!

Best wishes to you as well.

[Zackzzzz]

8. Silly Me,

Got angry over something my new neighbor did, and ended up with AFIB.
My loop read it, my doctor's office knew it, and yet I was only told about it at my annual visit.
Now, I just can't allow myself to have that anger.
So, like BlueKota, if I'm inside, I play music, Bossa Nova, with memories of my trip to Mexico.
If I'm out side, I look at the trees, sky, little weeds struggling in the cracks of cement.
Do you remember the song, Susanne, "there are heroes in the seaweed"?

These words have meaning to me; We can't have Nice Things.

And I sing to myself, Always look at the Bright Side of Life.

[BlueKota]

11. Anger can really mess with our health

especially the heart like you experienced. I mentioned to my psychiatrist that there are times my German Shepherd, who isn't a trained service dog seems to be trying to alert me. I read or hear something that makes me really angry, and even if I don't make a sound, and just start to tighten my muscles, and clench my jaw, my dog comes running sometimes even when he's been in another room, and starts slamming against me, if I am standing, or jumping on me and licking my face, if I am sitting. The doctor said dogs can smell changes in the scents that your body is giving off as your heart races or your BP rises. She warned me never to ignore his signals, and to start petting him to calm myself down. It has helped.

[snowybirdie]

3. Wow an outing with your sister!

A blessing. Many of us would like that. Who cares that things were not as planned! Merry Christmas

[BlueKota]

5. Thank you!

Merry Christmas to you too.

[live love laugh]

7. Sounds like the start of my day today. I'm regrouping now.

[BlueKota]

12. I hope your day got better.

[Emile]

9. I hear Wendy's has good chili.

[BlueKota]

13. They do.

They are even starting to sell cans of it in supermarkets now. You can choose between one with beans or one without.

[Intractable]

10. I learned a long time ago to always start a rock a concert with cotton stuffed in my ears.

Most of the time, the band could be heard just fine through cotton, but it will muffle the loudest sounds.

I learned to do this as a fan of the band Rush.

The warmup bands would blow my ears out before Rush would even hit the stage.

[BlueKota]

14. Thats a great idea.

I will definitely try that the next concert I go too.