Funeral for elleng

[hermetic]

Funeral services for elleng (Ellen Goldstein) will be held this Wednesday 12/17/2025 at 11am, at Hardesty Funeral Home. Location: 12 Ridgely Ave Annapolis, MD.
Interment Service will take place immediately following the funeral, at Bestgate Memorial Park, located at 814 Bestgate Rd Annapolis, MD.

[Bayard]

1. Do we have a fund going for sending flowers?

[hermetic]

2. Not sure

I remember someone mentioning that a few days ago but can't recall who or find it again. But then I saw her daughter posted the info on FB so thought I would share it, in hopes that person would see it.

[intheflow]

6. I'd contribute! n/t

[Ilsa]

10. Consider this: I believe She's Jewish. Flowers are not typical. It might

be better to send food, a kosher gift item, for shivah or any other gathering after the burial. I'll see what I can find out.

The funeral home should have more details.

[Donkees]

12. Maybe Ellen was involved with one of the bird/wildlife sanctuaries in her area ...

Some of those involved in building/maintaining Osprey Nesting Platforms.

[Ilsa]

15. I suspect that could be true. I think her cemetery might be

all natural, green burial. I think she would have appreciated anything like what you mentioned.

[catrose]

38. I think planting trees is a Jewish custom

[SheltieLover]

52. Great idea!

I know Ellen would appreciate this and I am convinced she is now soaring with her beloved Ospery!

[Donkees]

62. Ellen was the most passionate goodwill ambassador on behalf of ospreys I have ever met

She was a triple exclamation point person

[SheltieLover]

64. Absolutely! And I will forever cherish her daily pix the Spring they nested in her yard.

[barbtries]

32. We had flowers

at Bekah's funeral, which was officiated by a rabbi. But maybe it's only because her mother (ie, me) was a shiksa and this was in CA. I hope my ex-MIL was not offended by that.

[Grumpy Old Guy]

40. I'm Jewish, raised conservative.

I never knew that flowers at a funeral would be an issue. Maybe for the Orthodox, but I never heard that.

On the other hand, a fruit basket would be nice for those who are sitting Shiva.

[Ilsa]

43. I attended a Conservative Jewish funeral earlier this year.

There were no flowers, no spray of flowers, just a simple wooden casket with an Israeli flag over it. (Which mystified me a little, as the person was not interested in Israel, nor was he particularly observant.) I know the synagogue's Chevra Kadisha performed their burial rituals. This was in the south.

I had read that it's unusual for flowers to be sent or present during a service, and I know the decedent's family kept kosher, so I wasn't sure where there was a deli or store from which to order food that wouldn't be treif.

[Emile]

41. The family can always use postage stamps. My

wife has been giving books of stamps, instead of flowers for years. The grieving family are always grateful too.

[hedda_foil]

30. The family isn't using a Jewish funeral home so they wouldn't be likely to object to flowers.

[Ilsa]

44. I couldn't find her name on the funeral home's website.

I didn't see any references to religion on their site, either. Same for the cemetery. Maybe I made a mistake, or maybe she was not observant.

I had read that flowers were sent historically because their fragrance was supposed to help offset any odor, especially if there were several days between passing and burial.

[hedda_foil]

50. I couldnt find her funeral announcement or obituary either.

The funeral home definitely isn't Jewish, though.

[hlthe2b]

3. My thoughts will be with her family and friends...

It still comes as a shock--probably not just for me. Do we know now whether or not she'd been ill?

May you be at peace, elleng

[Donkees]

5. Several of her posts mentioned having to deal with hydrocephalus and surgery.

[hlthe2b]

7. Oh, my. I had not seen those posts....

Thank you for that information. I can only speculate, but it may be that her passing did not come so totally out of the blue.

[Donkees]

8. I think the last time she mentioned the shunt was earlier this year.

[markie]

4. Thank you for the information...

I am normally at the Eastern Shore and had hopes of meeting up someday.... so saddened now and I find myself up in Vermont this week
RIP ellen

[Irish_Dem]

9. I am still in shock. I don't believe what I am reading.

This cannot be true.

She was just here, alive and well I thought.

[PatSeg]

47. That's what I thought as well

She was still posting several times a day on Facebook and apparently out taking photos.

[Irish_Dem]

51. yes

This is why it is hard to believe.
We had no warning.

[orangecrush]

11. ...

[ancianita]

13. elleng was a valued presence here.

So sorry about her passing. May she rest in peace.

[Aristus]

14. ...

...

[fierywoman]

16. Rest in peace, dear Ellen

[nitpicked]

17. From Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visitation_stones
(snip)

The act of placing visitation stones is significant in Jewish bereavement practices. Small stones are placed by people who visit Jewish graves in an act of remembrance or respect for the deceased. The practice is a way of participating in the mitzvah (commandment) of burial. It is customary to place the stone with the left hand.[1]
(snip)

It is not customary in Judaism to leave flowers at a grave after visiting. It is believed to be more appropriate to give money to charity that could otherwise be spent on flowers.[3] In addition, cut flowers eventually die, but stones are enduring and do not die.[4]
(snip)

[samnsara]

26. what a beautiful tradition!

and so peaceful...

[debm55]

33. Flowers will die or wilt but stones will not.

[ShazzieB]

28. Thanks for this.

The first I ever knew of visitation stones was the final scene of Schindler's List, where the remaining Holocaust survivors that Oskar Schindler saved visit his grave, each leaving a stone on it. It was a very moving scene, but I was baffled by the stones, because I had never heard of that custom. Later on, after I found out what the stones meant, I had a whole new appreciation of the scene.

Sorry for the tangent, but I can't think of visitation stones without thinking of that scene in Schindler's List.

I will miss elleng very, very much.

[hedda_foil]

29. Jewish headstones are not raised and dedicated until the one year anniversary of the death (Hebrew calendar)

[calimary]

48. I like that!

Little stones have a pretty long lifetime.

[montanacowboy]

18. Will miss her posts

Rest in Peace Elleng

[littlemissmartypants]

19. 💧

[AllaN01Bear]

20. ""

[Phentex]

21. I would like to send a card if anyone has the info

private message me if possible. I can send to the funeral home also.

[Trailrider1951]

22. .....

[artemisia1]

23. "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith". RIP /nt

[Renew Deal]

24. I'm sad to hear this news

She was here a long time

[Permanut]

25. ...

[orleans]

27. can't find her obit on that funeral home website nt

[QueerDuck]

31. Do we have a link to an online obituary?

❤️🥰

[BigmanPigman]

34. I'll miss her weather reports from the DC area.

I'm so depressed! Damn, now I'm crying again.

[Scrivener7]

35. I do too, my dear. Hang in there.

[PatSeg]

46. It has been that kind of week so far

Everything seems to bring me to tears.

[BigmanPigman]

58. I'm running out of tissues

2025 sucked! I didn't think it could possibly be worse that 2024. I was wrong.

I'm lucky to have DUers' support. It helps a lot. I don't know how the hell I can write my Xmas cards when I am NOT looking forward to a new year without sounding morbid. I'll have to "fake it" or just write my name without a personal note which is what I normally do.

[PatSeg]

59. "Have a tolerable Christmas and may you survive the New Year"?

Yeah hard to get in the mood, especially feeling like we are on the brink of Armageddon.

[BigmanPigman]

60. Last year I had to re-do my 2016 Xmas card.

I'm an illustrator and I make my own cards ever few years. For 2024 I made my original with an updated note. In 2016 I made tRump's face on the Grinch's body as he looked down from tRump Tower with a heart 3 sizes too small. My note was not a happy one. Things are much worse now.

[PatSeg]

61. Oh, how clever!

How did people react to the card?

[BigmanPigman]

63. Everybody liked it except

for an old friend from art school who actually wrote to me, "I pray for our dear leader and so should you" on her Xmas card to me.

It turns out that she is one of "them" since she married a mormon and moved to Shasta, CA (a huge GOP population). I never spoke to her or sent her any birthday or Xmas cards after that. She tried to pretend it doesn't matter and continued to send me cards for a few years. She is the only person I "unfriended" due to tRump and I am glad I did. My sister was her roommate and found Nazi propaganda literature under her bed when she moved out in 1988.

[PatSeg]

66. Whoa!

Guess you were lucky to rid yourself of that one. "Dear leader"??? That is unnerving.

[jfz9580m]

36. RIP Ellen

It’s funny..she looked rather like I would have pictured her. A sweet lady.

[OAITW r.2.0]

37. Geez, I'm truly shocked. I did not know she passed.

Don't know what to say...I will miss her contributions to DU. She made this a better place.

RIP elleng.

[Grim Chieftain]

39. It would be nice if we each had a moment of silence

or quiet remembrance for elleng tomorrow morning during her service. She was one of the best of us.

[peacebuzzard]

42. oh no....I am so sorry ....

what a sweet poster....
had no idea she was not well....💔

[PatSeg]

45. I didn't know either

She had been posting regularly on Facebook and some of her posts are still popping up. I think it must have been very sudden. I've yet to hear what happened though.

[question everything]

49. Sometime in the past two years, I think, she was alerting on these pages about a brain diagnosis

and treatment. The results were OK but whatever it was may have returned with no advanced warning.

I will always remember how prolific she was, posting on many groups about so many topics.

The world was a better place with her presence.

May her memory be blessed

[PatSeg]

53. I remember her talking about a procedure

not sure if it was here or on Facebook. It had to do with her walk or some balance issues.

Truly a great loss.

[question everything]

54. What is sad is that as recently as Dec. 12 she posted on her Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/ellen.goldstein.3

[PatSeg]

57. Yes, I didn't see any indication

that something was wrong.

[MontanaMama]

55. I will miss her.

Bird posts, recipes from the NYT. She was a sweet and positive presence here on DU.

[Sogo]

56. RIP, elleng

[Dorothy V]

65. 🕯

I am so sorry, first I've heard of her passing.
I would be happy to contribute to a go fund me set up for ospreys. Or any other charity her family might choose if we can find an obit or the like.