I think this will be my FIRST year to have the Holidays ALONE...

[FirstLight]

Last edited Sun Nov 17, 2024, 08:11 PM - Edit history (1)

Mom and Dad passed in 2022/23. Kids are in different states, and I'm only re-establishing contact with (the middle) one so far. My Oldest hasn't been in the picture for years since his wife decided I wasn't allowed in their lives. My youngest is doing his own thing having a young family in another state...we were disconnected earlier this year by my abusive ex. While he's touched base with a mutual friend, I'm not reaching out to him until I'm more healed...

So here's Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year (my Bday) ...and I'm sober....and alone.

I dont think I am necessarily sad about it. I've been invited to a friendsgiving in the Bay, but I dont know the people (only one friend) and Im sure they will be drinking, and I'm just not feeling it.

I'll be 55 at the stroke of midnight, on New Year... I was born 15 seconds after in 1970. Big deal, lol (my 15 minutes of fame and I was too little to appreciate it)

Anyway, It's just a strange observation. I've never been alone for the Holidays. I'm even wondering if I should decorate or anything... maybe I'll order a pizza ...

Edit: Thank you for all the support and ideas... I think I'm a little depressed today, too

[SWBTATTReg]

1. I haven't been alone for the holidays since day 1. It was always at someone else's holiday celebrations, etc., etc.,

etc., and I squirmed being that I wanted us (me and my other) to have our own, unique celebrations of the holidays. So when my parents passed a couple of years ago, not that I didn't enjoy those gatherings, I always wanted my own. Finally got them, and here I am, almost 70 years old. Don't let family dictate to you how the holidays should be celebrated by you. YOU decide how you want to enjoy the holidays.

By the way, we are so, so happy and enjoying the way we want to celebrate the holidays. It's like a breath of fresh air, and it gives you a sense of empowerment.

My sister's daughter did try to get us back together again for the family gatherings (ThanksG., Xmas, etc.) but I told my sister that we were tired of doing all of the driving, etc. (6 hours one way), and didn't want to do this anymore. Don't get me wrong, we love all of you, but we want to celebrate on our own. My sister totally understood as she was in the same boat I was, always doing what 'they' wanted to do.

By the way, I don't decorate anymore, but I do have a tiny ceramic Xmas tree w/ lights. I still haven't gotten it out, still haven't put up any decorations, etc. It is so nice. And what we do? Generally we go to friend's houses and visit or go out, and meet the crowd. It's wonderful. By the way, the Pizza sounds pretty damn good too.

[Aristus]

2. ...

[barbtries]

3. Have a plan.

Don't let it get you down. Other than that, you will be free to do whatever you want!

Although I caution you that you may not be able to order a pizza. However, there will be some restaurants open so if you don't mind dining solo, think about that.

and Happy Birthday!! Christmas girl

[Upthevibe]

4. FirstLight.......

You might be surprised that the Thanksgiving gathering may have others' in recovery I'm also in recovery but am fortunate that my friend group are social drinkers and no one gets drunk. I'm never been tempted to drink so being around it doesn't bother me.

I've been sober from alcohol a long time...... since the last minute of 1989. I haven't had a drink for all these years.

Good for you on your sobriety!

[FirstLight]

5. Can't really go anywhere anyway, Tahoe tourists

So even if I did want to take myself out just for funsies, the place is going to be inundated with tourons.
Cooking for myself is kind of silly because it's hard to make enough for just one person and yeah.. it's fine, whatever. I'm not really upset about it, just, its weird.

If I really wanted to make myself sad I could think about missing my mom and how wonderful she used to make it for all of us and the kids. That's the part that I miss the most 😭🥺

[Nittersing]

6. I've started making a cornish game hen on T-Day

I'm 70, never married and no kids... so for years I did the Friendsgiving thing. The pandemic shook things up and during the lockdown, I "shared" a meal via Skype with my Mom (who was in asst living and has since passed). I decided to do the game hen and it just looked so cute it made me smile. And that kind of set the stage for me and eating the holiday meals alone. Seems like spending a little time to make up my own little feast is very self-affirming.

[FirstLight]

8. That's a really good idea

Maybe something small but fun ... Idk

[The Wandering Harper]

7. I've spent holidays alone for years

not for lack of places to go
it's complicated
it was lonely
but I learned to take joy
in the relative peace and quiet around me on those days

[splat]

9. Swanson Turkey TV Dinner might tickle your fancy

Nostalgia, and a nod to turkeys past. As a kid, they were better than the crazed screaming dried out dinners of my family. My aunt always got thrown out of the kitchen for tippling too much by my mother turned harridan of the holiday.

You'll have a peaceful one, I hope!

(All my critics are dead and I insist on unconditional love with the descendants, so we have peace here too.)

[littlemissmartypants]

10. I'm happy alone. ...

I fast Thanksgiving Day. My family never understood it. Now that they're gone, they don't have to. It feels freeing in an odd way. Times change. The Earth keeps spinning. It's always been adapt or die for me.

I think you'll be just fine. ❤️

[Alice Kramden]

11. Hugs for you - I've been there

When I was divorced (with no children) and my family of origin opted to not include me in their holiday gatherings many years ago, I volunteered at a homeless shelter and served food, conversing with the homeless guests at a local church outreach. It was a good way of coping for me. Hoping that you can find a way that is helpful for you.

[kozar]

12. Im on my 2nd alone,

My advice, it's gonna be hard, do things, you always did. To feel good. Don't change everything.
Of course you will feel lonely, look at the tree , cook the same dishes, you cooked for gatherings, eat what you always eat, slow down, find your comfort level, and LIVE,

[Easterncedar]

13. I learned to do it and like it

Post divorce, from 40 on, I was far from my parents and siblings. It was hard at first, but I learned to give myself treats and peaceful time outdoors, to be cozy and to enjoy myself. I always have a tree and love decorating it. I go to hear music. Be as kind to yourself as you can.

[wryter2000]

14. I'm alone every year

I gave up caring ages ago. It takes the pressure off to get gifts, cook, and generally be merry whether I feel like it or not.

Holidays never lived up to the stuff on TV. It’s great letting all that go. I recommend it. See if you feel that freedom. Just count it as a few extra days off work.

[yellowdogintexas]

15. If I were going to be alone I would go serve meals at one of the big shelters here

and then go to the movies afterwards. Now I do have friends who would welcome me, and a couple of widow friends who would find something to do with me. Candlelight Communion on Christmas Eve

Our Thanksgiving will be at Mr YD's nephew's home with lots of folks coming and going. The traditional rush through dinner to watch the football game. (we used to take our daughter to the movies during the game) .
I am bringing a friend who has no family . She loves football so she will enjoy it.

I spent Chrismas alone a couple of times when Mr YD was working in WY. It wasn't so bad. I probably went to the movies and talked with my sisters for an hour or so each

I miss the Christmas celebrations from my youth. Everyone is gone except my sisters and their kids and we are spread out all over the place. We

[Emile]

16. Remember, you have us.

[quaint]

17. I love my solitary, no stress holidays.

I have a lovely family nearby and they have large gatherings with great conversation and food and my son offers to send one if his kids for me. At my age, I prefer to spend time with them when there aren't twenty others around.

[CountAllVotes]

18. This will be my third one alone

Since my husband died in 2022 its been so sad and so downhill for me!



Try to keep busy, that is all I can recommend.

Hang-in there best you can!