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republianmushroom

(17,630 posts)
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 12:45 PM Oct 21

Death of a Pet

Pets, it turns out, also have last wishes before they die, but only known by veterinarians who put old and sick animals to sleep. Twitter user Jesse Dietrich asked a vet what was the most difficult part of his job.
The specialist answered without hesitation that it was the hardest for him to see how old or sick animals look for their owners with the eyes of their owners before going to sleep. The fact is that 90 % of owners don't want to be in a room with a dying animal. People leave so that they don't see their pet leave. But they don't realize that it's in these last moments of life that their pet needs them most.
Veterinarians ask the owners to be close to the animals until the very end. "It's inevitable that they die before you. Don't forget that you were the center of their life. Maybe they were just a part of you. But they are also your family. No matter how hard it is, don't leave them.
Don't let them die in a room with a stranger in a place they don't like. It is very painful for veterinarians to see how pets cannot find their owner during the last minutes of their life. They don't understand why the owner left them. After all, they needed their owner’s consolation.
Veterinarians do everything possible to ensure that animals are not so scared, but they are completely strangers to them. Don't be a coward because it's too painful for you. Think about the pet. Endure this pain for the sake of their sake. Be with them until the end. No animal should die alone.

45 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Death of a Pet (Original Post) republianmushroom Oct 21 OP
I have never left the side of any of my dogs and cats. It is so sinkingfeeling Oct 21 #1
Yes, so very hard. republianmushroom Oct 21 #2
I can't imagine abandoning my pet when they're put to sleep Random Boomer Oct 21 #10
Agreed X a million DENVERPOPS Oct 21 #29
I'm old enough that I've had a few dogs and one cat put down over the decades. TomSlick Oct 21 #3
I agree it is very hard and it will break your heart . but they do sense you and they need you. I have done it for all debm55 Oct 21 #4
I'm not ashamed to say I cried. k55f5r Oct 21 #5
Agreed. We have been right there comforting all the elderly and sick pets over the years we have PatrickforB Oct 21 #6
This is really important information! 1WorldHope Oct 21 #7
i've seen this stat. i dont believe it. mopinko Oct 21 #8
I thought that same thing birdographer Oct 21 #19
I pet sat for 20 years. Dem2theMax Oct 21 #20
The only time I wasn't with my cat PoindexterOglethorpe Oct 21 #9
The hardest part of having a dog or a cat is saying goodbye. StarryNite Oct 21 #11
Have always been with our JRTs at the end. gademocrat7 Oct 21 #12
Thank you for sharing... ultralite001 Oct 21 #13
I have never left my pets alone in their last hours or minutes. MontanaMama Oct 21 #14
I still cry over the way one of my dogs went out... TrumanTheTiger Oct 21 #15
Preach! lark Oct 21 #16
it is hard but do it 4catsmom Oct 21 #17
I drove my Chow Ying and my Mom to the vet to put him to sleep. Eko Oct 21 #18
You did right by him. AloeVera Oct 21 #35
Thanks. Eko Oct 21 #38
Very true Nigrum Cattus Oct 21 #21
after 5 yrs as a hospice volunteer, i'll b a lot slower to take that step. mopinko Oct 21 #22
I'm quite sure my animals were grateful to go Laurelin Oct 21 #34
well, for some, when it's time, they want to go. but mopinko Oct 21 #36
This message was self-deleted by its author Mosby Oct 21 #23
I have had probably 25+ cats as an adult Lithos Oct 21 #24
i did have 1 that went very badly. i was double glad i was there for that 1. mopinko Oct 21 #25
Thank you Wild blueberry Oct 21 #26
I lost two cats during the early months of the pandemic, Ocelot II Oct 21 #27
Horses, too! cilla4progress Oct 21 #28
When the time came for our rescue cat a few years back we had a vet come to the house. Xavier Breath Oct 21 #44
Yes, we sat there with our little Moxy one year ago mountain grammy Oct 21 #30
So true. AloeVera Oct 21 #31
Please consider cross-posting this to the Pets Forum! ShazzieB Oct 21 #32
Done republianmushroom Oct 21 #37
Every second you can be with them is a blessing. BWdem4life Oct 21 #33
I strongly agree with the OP. Pets are our family members LetMyPeopleVote Oct 21 #39
Not being there doesn't make it any better Warpy Oct 21 #40
My cat, Alice, was dying of feline peritonitis. The only loving and humane no_hypocrisy Oct 21 #41
Been there too many times TomSlick Oct 21 #42
It is also true that some sick or dying animals seek seclusion. milestogo Oct 21 #43
I read this before my girl Maggie died in August. babylonsister Oct 22 #45

Random Boomer

(4,249 posts)
10. I can't imagine abandoning my pet when they're put to sleep
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 01:58 PM
Oct 21

I've been through the process so many times over the last 35 years, and it never gets easier. But it's not about ME, it's about THEM.

DENVERPOPS

(9,951 posts)
29. Agreed X a million
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 03:12 PM
Oct 21

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me,

I wish so much you wouldn’t cry, though I know your heart aches so,
But remember it was for the best……it was my time to go……..

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
and each time you’re thinking of me, I know you’ll miss me too.

When tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we’re far apart,
for every time you think of me, I’m right there in your heart.

If it should be that I grow frail and weak, and pain should keep me from my sleep,
then you must do what must be done for this last battle can’t be won….

You will be sad, I understand, don’t let your grief then stay your hand,
for on this day, more than all the rest, your love and friendship stands the test….

We’ve had so many happy years, what’s to come can hold no fears,
take me where my needs they’ll tend, only stay with me until the end,
hold me firm and speak to me, until my eyes no longer see……..

I know in time that you will see, it is a kindness that you do to me,
although my tail, it’s last has waved, from pain and suffering,
I’ve been saved………

Do not grieve, it should be you who decides, this thing to do,
we’ve been so close these years….
Please don’t let your heart hold any tears……………

Unknown

TomSlick

(11,887 posts)
3. I'm old enough that I've had a few dogs and one cat put down over the decades.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 12:54 PM
Oct 21

I carry them in and hold them during the procedure. I then carry them out and bury them myself. I try not to break down until the grave is dug.

I owe them that.

debm55

(36,001 posts)
4. I agree it is very hard and it will break your heart . but they do sense you and they need you. I have done it for all
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 12:56 PM
Oct 21

of my dogs and cats. All were on my lap---bring a towel.--as they left. In their eyes they know, they know. But their eyes tell you they want you there. As you look through the tears, you can see them the last time, hug them and say I love you. They know and will miss you as much as you miss them. but they are free of their pain. The will see you again . They will always be in your heart for ever more.

k55f5r

(408 posts)
5. I'm not ashamed to say I cried.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 01:22 PM
Oct 21

Muffin, Casey, Sandy, Bunny, Lucky, Missy, Lucy, Luka, Petey, Bam, Rico, Pinky, Cisco, Shawna, Minnie, and Spider.
They are waiting for me at the rainbow bridge.

PatrickforB

(15,109 posts)
6. Agreed. We have been right there comforting all the elderly and sick pets over the years we have
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 01:50 PM
Oct 21

had to put to sleep.

For the most recent, a dear 19-year-old tuxedo named Braveheart whose hindquarters no longer functioned, we went so far as to call a home veterinary service to come put him down in our house, where the people who loved him could be right there comforting him. We just did not have the heart to traumatize him that last day by putting him in a carrier and taking him in the car.

It is heart wrenching, true, but when I die, it would be good if those who love me, and whom I love can be there to ease me on my own way. How can we do less for our furry family members?

Death is a part of life.

1WorldHope

(900 posts)
7. This is really important information!
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 01:52 PM
Oct 21

I have also never left my pets alone. If they are to big for my lap I lay on the floor and hold them. One time my vet came to my car while I lay in the hatch back hugging my baby boy. I'm tearing up reading this. I just love animals!

mopinko

(71,802 posts)
8. i've seen this stat. i dont believe it.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 01:55 PM
Oct 21

90%. i dont know a single person who’s ever done that. my youngest dog is my 16th. i’ve never left a dog to die alone.

i’m sure there’s ppl who do leave. who cant watch. but i dont believe it’s anywhere near that high.

birdographer

(2,527 posts)
19. I thought that same thing
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:27 PM
Oct 21

I doubt it is that high. However, I also think that young people (20's maybe) might not fully understand and they might bail out. I don't remember if we stayed with ours back then. The older you get, the more empathy you have developed, and, I think, the more likely you are to stay. I stay and stroke them and say the loving words I have always said to them as they leave. I know it takes away any fear, it's someone they love softly saying words they have heard before. And when it has to be done, it is a kindness to them (one that so many terminal humans would appreciate)--we are the ones who will suffer.

Dem2theMax

(10,274 posts)
20. I pet sat for 20 years.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:28 PM
Oct 21

There are a lot of people who won't go in with their pets. I've heard the stories over and over and over. If only they had told me beforehand, I would have gone in with their pets. I bonded with every animal I ever watched. They were my family too.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(26,727 posts)
9. The only time I wasn't with my cat
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 01:57 PM
Oct 21

at the very end was one I brought to the vet, thinking they'd fix whatever was wrong, and she died overnight. I still feel bad I wasn't there with her.

StarryNite

(10,823 posts)
11. The hardest part of having a dog or a cat is saying goodbye.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 01:59 PM
Oct 21
Being there for them in the end is the last thing we do for them. The graves or whatever we have done with their remains is really for us because by that point they are gone.

MontanaMama

(24,021 posts)
14. I have never left my pets alone in their last hours or minutes.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:04 PM
Oct 21

Ever. It is a privilege to be near them however painful.

TrumanTheTiger

(33 posts)
15. I still cry over the way one of my dogs went out...
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:05 PM
Oct 21

She was notorious for not liking cameras, although she was ok with phone cameras when they showed up. She also was stingy with giving kisses. She was a rescue.

That appointment to the vet came up for her. We always assumed that she was momma's girl (my then-wife's dog). Laying on the table at the vet and no longer eating (they choose to breathe over eating), the vet preps her for her last shot and she gives me a kiss as the needle's going in her arm.

lark

(24,149 posts)
16. Preach!
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:13 PM
Oct 21

How could someone be so cruel to leave their poor sufferring baby alone at the very last. Hell no, that's so wrong! As hard as it is, we've always been there for our wonderful fur babies when their times came to an end. So hard, but it's needful. Our vet told us the same thing when we brought Kitty there 30 years ago, and we've followed suit when necessary since then.

Eko

(8,491 posts)
18. I drove my Chow Ying and my Mom to the vet to put him to sleep.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:20 PM
Oct 21

I sat there and held him the whole time. I saw his life leave and made sure he saw me. I took him to die and to this day it hurts just as much as it did 20 some years ago. He was the best dog.

AloeVera

(1,944 posts)
35. You did right by him.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 03:44 PM
Oct 21

I had a cat-soulmate called Mafla. He was human really, and rarely left my side. He would jump into my arms when I came home from work and it was all fun and games and soul-communing after that. I loved him so much.

When he got sick it was devastating to say the least. I also held him on my lap, thinking that was best, just petting, talking and crying. In the last few moments of his life he lifted his head to look at me. It must have taken supernatural strength as he was so weak. I will never forget the mixture of love and sadness he managed to express with his eyes. He held his gaze until his last breath. Dear Mafla.

Since then, I get down to their level, eye-to-eye, so they know I'm truly with them. As sad as it is, it's never as bad as with Mafla.

Some sadness never leaves, Eko.



Nigrum Cattus

(98 posts)
21. Very true
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:33 PM
Oct 21

That's why I don't euthanize my cats.
1) They have all known they were dying, all 20 over 60+ years.
2) They are carnivores, they know death.
3) I am just their human, not their "owner".
By the way I have never adopted any of my cats, they all came to me.
And I am grateful & humbled to have been their friend.

mopinko

(71,802 posts)
22. after 5 yrs as a hospice volunteer, i'll b a lot slower to take that step.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:46 PM
Oct 21

i ended up w my mom’s dog. when i took him out to see her, she told me it was time. i wouldnt have done it just then, but it was her call. i’ve regretted that 1, tho.

i’m looking at that rn. have a 12 1/2 yo 80 lb bully. he’s rly starting to have trouble getting around. logistics will b tough, and will have to b a factor. but i’ll do everything i can. i’ve already made mods.

if they get to where they need meds all the time, or r in great pain, i’ve always done the thing. i feel like if i cd explain to them y it’s happening, it wd b different. but my time in hospice tells me that they wd gladly endure anything for more time.
his half bro just passed a month ago. my ex had him. he just closed his eyes in their arms.
that only happens w patience.

Laurelin

(642 posts)
34. I'm quite sure my animals were grateful to go
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 03:41 PM
Oct 21

I worry more that I put it off too long and let them suffer unnecessarily, but they can't speak for themselves and I need to feel very sure.

I also attended family death beds, with family who wanted to go and did NOT want more time or suffering. One family member coded and despite her clearly expressed wishes that she be allowed to die naturally, her husband insisted she be revived. She was furious with him. She lived in pain for another day and then died. Her sister had better luck. She told her doctors she didn't want to be revived when her body failed and they let her go.

I'm quite glad I live in a country where doctor assisted suicide is legal. We don't all want more time if we're suffering .

I'm not saying your pup is ready to go. I'm sure you know your dog best. I spent months helping my senior lab around with a rolled up towel under her belly. She wasn't in pain and was happy. She wasn't at all happy when she was completely paralyzed below the waist though and I let her go.

mopinko

(71,802 posts)
36. well, for some, when it's time, they want to go. but
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 04:04 PM
Oct 21

most ppl, early on, dx’d w something horrible will say- i’m not waiting around.
but they soon start to cherish every ok day. they also find out that the family they thought wd b burdened want every minute, too.

i have few regrets. but i do have a few.

Response to republianmushroom (Original post)

Lithos

(26,452 posts)
24. I have had probably 25+ cats as an adult
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:51 PM
Oct 21

I have attended all but 2 in their final moments. Those two died in a situation where it was not expected for them to die.

While they are but a moment in my life, I am their life. It's my responsibility to be there for the hard parts as well as the easy parts. People who do not feel otherwise need to reconsider their relationship with their pets.

mopinko

(71,802 posts)
25. i did have 1 that went very badly. i was double glad i was there for that 1.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:55 PM
Oct 21

i ended up w my mom’s little cocker when she went into assisted living. my son got attached to him.
when it was time, as decreed by mom, my son wanted to go. he was about 10. the dog was 17, and very frail. they had a hella time placing the catheter. it was grim.

after spending time as a hospice volunteer, i’ll b slower to do this than in the past, i think.
the dog my ex ended up w went peacefully last month. he got that last minute rush of energy the day b4 and played some ball.
i have his half bro, 6 mos younger. the day is coming. le sigh.
no points for giving them a good life, if u dont give them a good death.

Wild blueberry

(7,185 posts)
26. Thank you
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:56 PM
Oct 21

Been with all of my dogs and cats at the end. Best was when the vet could come to our house.
Our pets give us so much. They deserve this last grace.

Ocelot II

(120,833 posts)
27. I lost two cats during the early months of the pandemic,
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 02:59 PM
Oct 21

only a few weeks apart, and I couldn't be with them because of the vets' covid rules. It still breaks my heart that they had to leave this world without me and just with strangers in masks. I hope they have forgiven me, wherever they are.

Xavier Breath

(5,011 posts)
44. When the time came for our rescue cat a few years back we had a vet come to the house.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 07:21 PM
Oct 21

He was on his favorite pillow, she inserted the needle and he just went to sleep as we stroked his fur. The vet got him prepared and I was honored to carry him out to her van.

mountain grammy

(27,273 posts)
30. Yes, we sat there with our little Moxy one year ago
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 03:17 PM
Oct 21

I hugged him and said "see you soon" I'm 76. Hope I can go as peacefully as he did.

AloeVera

(1,944 posts)
31. So true.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 03:23 PM
Oct 21

Don't leave your pets to die alone!

I have some bittersweet memories of bending down and looking into their eyes and crying and giving love. Each one looked back, never took their eyes off of me. I swear I saw love and gratitude.

There I go again.


Please STAY with your pets.

ShazzieB

(18,651 posts)
32. Please consider cross-posting this to the Pets Forum!
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 03:33 PM
Oct 21

I can promise you that those who follow that forum will really appreciate it! 🐕🐈🐩

BWdem4life

(2,463 posts)
33. Every second you can be with them is a blessing.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 03:40 PM
Oct 21

But it would be selfish to not ease their pain and confusion by euthanizing them, IMO.

Our latest to pass away, Cece, probably didn't even know it was the end. She just fell asleep (drug-induced) after which they did the final injection.

I am glad to have been with her in her final moments.

LetMyPeopleVote

(154,470 posts)
39. I strongly agree with the OP. Pets are our family members
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 04:12 PM
Oct 21

Several years ago, I flew my middle child down from law school in Iowa to say goodbye to my beardie. I picked my middle child up at the airport and we drove to the vet's office. It was nice to see my bearded collie close his eyes with his head in my child's lap.

This year I sat with my oldest at the vet's office as he said goodbye to his beardie. The beardie knew that I was there and had me pet him while he had his head in my oldest child's lap. We were there for almost 2 hours before the vet gave the first shot to start the process

These pets are family members and they deserve to be with their loved ones at the end.

Warpy

(113,130 posts)
40. Not being there doesn't make it any better
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 04:19 PM
Oct 21

There was a seroes pf cats when I was younger, some put down when they had prevaccine distemper. I knew the kitty was sick and I didn't buy the "we took her to a farm" story.

When it's time, I've never let a furry friend face it alone, even though friends have had cats who did just that, going out into the yard and hiding under a bush for their final exit.

I held HRH while the anesthesia shot took effect, had my hand on her back when the potassium went in. She'd been a friend for 20 years and deserved no less.

no_hypocrisy

(48,782 posts)
41. My cat, Alice, was dying of feline peritonitis. The only loving and humane
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 06:10 PM
Oct 21

thing to do was to take her to the cat hospital.

I stayed with her for the first shot and the second shot. I held her. I wanted her to feel me, feel the warmth of my body, feel my arms gently cradling her, talking softly to her, to smell me.

When she went limp, the vet confirmed there was no heartbeat. And the vet let me continue to hold her and talk to her.

And I cried like never before. I surrendered her and walked back to the waiting room. The staff was wonderful and caring. They refused to let me leave (to drive home) until I stopped crying for 15 minutes. One hour later, I was still crying. They gave me limitless tissues.

I'm crying now.

I could live to be a hundred and this moment I had with Alice may have been the most humane thing I'll ever do.

TomSlick

(11,887 posts)
42. Been there too many times
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 06:43 PM
Oct 21

I carry them into the vet's and hold them during the procedure. I then bring them home and bury them myself. I try not to break down until the grave is dug.

I owe them that.

milestogo

(17,813 posts)
43. It is also true that some sick or dying animals seek seclusion.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 07:05 PM
Oct 21

In nature animals never want to be seen as weak and vulnerable, so they will do whatever is needed to protect themselves. For animals in the home, they may still seek out a quiet place.

I had a fifteen year old dog. One weekend he was scratching at the door to the basement. The only time he ever went down there was when he was sick. I think he was going down there to die. So I picked him up and put him on my bed - he died within an hour. I'm glad I got to be with him.

babylonsister

(171,609 posts)
45. I read this before my girl Maggie died in August.
Tue Oct 22, 2024, 12:26 PM
Oct 22

I laid down right by her side, stroked her and held her front paws. I felt honored to be there.

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