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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsDeath of a Pet
Pets, it turns out, also have last wishes before they die, but only known by veterinarians who put old and sick animals to sleep. Twitter user Jesse Dietrich asked a vet what was the most difficult part of his job.
The specialist answered without hesitation that it was the hardest for him to see how old or sick animals look for their owners with the eyes of their owners before going to sleep. The fact is that 90 % of owners don't want to be in a room with a dying animal. People leave so that they don't see their pet leave. But they don't realize that it's in these last moments of life that their pet needs them most.
Veterinarians ask the owners to be close to the animals until the very end. "It's inevitable that they die before you. Don't forget that you were the center of their life. Maybe they were just a part of you. But they are also your family. No matter how hard it is, don't leave them.
Don't let them die in a room with a stranger in a place they don't like. It is very painful for veterinarians to see how pets cannot find their owner during the last minutes of their life. They don't understand why the owner left them. After all, they needed their owners consolation.
Veterinarians do everything possible to ensure that animals are not so scared, but they are completely strangers to them. Don't be a coward because it's too painful for you. Think about the pet. Endure this pain for the sake of their sake. Be with them until the end. No animal should die alone.
sinkingfeeling
(52,993 posts)very hard to be there and yet, so necessary.
republianmushroom
(17,630 posts)Random Boomer
(4,249 posts)I've been through the process so many times over the last 35 years, and it never gets easier. But it's not about ME, it's about THEM.
DENVERPOPS
(9,951 posts)When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
When tomorrow starts without me, and Im not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldnt cry, though I know your heart aches so,
But remember it was for the best
it was my time to go
..
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
and each time youre thinking of me, I know youll miss me too.
When tomorrow starts without me, dont think were far apart,
for every time you think of me, Im right there in your heart.
If it should be that I grow frail and weak, and pain should keep me from my sleep,
then you must do what must be done for this last battle cant be won
.
You will be sad, I understand, dont let your grief then stay your hand,
for on this day, more than all the rest, your love and friendship stands the test
.
Weve had so many happy years, whats to come can hold no fears,
take me where my needs theyll tend, only stay with me until the end,
hold me firm and speak to me, until my eyes no longer see
..
I know in time that you will see, it is a kindness that you do to me,
although my tail, its last has waved, from pain and suffering,
Ive been saved
Do not grieve, it should be you who decides, this thing to do,
weve been so close these years
.
Please dont let your heart hold any tears
Unknown
TomSlick
(11,887 posts)I carry them in and hold them during the procedure. I then carry them out and bury them myself. I try not to break down until the grave is dug.
I owe them that.
debm55
(36,001 posts)of my dogs and cats. All were on my lap---bring a towel.--as they left. In their eyes they know, they know. But their eyes tell you they want you there. As you look through the tears, you can see them the last time, hug them and say I love you. They know and will miss you as much as you miss them. but they are free of their pain. The will see you again . They will always be in your heart for ever more.
k55f5r
(408 posts)Muffin, Casey, Sandy, Bunny, Lucky, Missy, Lucy, Luka, Petey, Bam, Rico, Pinky, Cisco, Shawna, Minnie, and Spider.
They are waiting for me at the rainbow bridge.
PatrickforB
(15,109 posts)had to put to sleep.
For the most recent, a dear 19-year-old tuxedo named Braveheart whose hindquarters no longer functioned, we went so far as to call a home veterinary service to come put him down in our house, where the people who loved him could be right there comforting him. We just did not have the heart to traumatize him that last day by putting him in a carrier and taking him in the car.
It is heart wrenching, true, but when I die, it would be good if those who love me, and whom I love can be there to ease me on my own way. How can we do less for our furry family members?
Death is a part of life.
1WorldHope
(900 posts)I have also never left my pets alone. If they are to big for my lap I lay on the floor and hold them. One time my vet came to my car while I lay in the hatch back hugging my baby boy. I'm tearing up reading this. I just love animals!
mopinko
(71,802 posts)90%. i dont know a single person whos ever done that. my youngest dog is my 16th. ive never left a dog to die alone.
im sure theres ppl who do leave. who cant watch. but i dont believe its anywhere near that high.
birdographer
(2,527 posts)I doubt it is that high. However, I also think that young people (20's maybe) might not fully understand and they might bail out. I don't remember if we stayed with ours back then. The older you get, the more empathy you have developed, and, I think, the more likely you are to stay. I stay and stroke them and say the loving words I have always said to them as they leave. I know it takes away any fear, it's someone they love softly saying words they have heard before. And when it has to be done, it is a kindness to them (one that so many terminal humans would appreciate)--we are the ones who will suffer.
Dem2theMax
(10,274 posts)There are a lot of people who won't go in with their pets. I've heard the stories over and over and over. If only they had told me beforehand, I would have gone in with their pets. I bonded with every animal I ever watched. They were my family too.
PoindexterOglethorpe
(26,727 posts)at the very end was one I brought to the vet, thinking they'd fix whatever was wrong, and she died overnight. I still feel bad I wasn't there with her.
StarryNite
(10,823 posts)gademocrat7
(11,165 posts)It is heartbreaking to see them go.
ultralite001
(1,137 posts)TIA...
MontanaMama
(24,021 posts)Ever. It is a privilege to be near them however painful.
TrumanTheTiger
(33 posts)She was notorious for not liking cameras, although she was ok with phone cameras when they showed up. She also was stingy with giving kisses. She was a rescue.
That appointment to the vet came up for her. We always assumed that she was momma's girl (my then-wife's dog). Laying on the table at the vet and no longer eating (they choose to breathe over eating), the vet preps her for her last shot and she gives me a kiss as the needle's going in her arm.
lark
(24,149 posts)How could someone be so cruel to leave their poor sufferring baby alone at the very last. Hell no, that's so wrong! As hard as it is, we've always been there for our wonderful fur babies when their times came to an end. So hard, but it's needful. Our vet told us the same thing when we brought Kitty there 30 years ago, and we've followed suit when necessary since then.
4catsmom
(227 posts)it's the last loving thing you can do for him
Eko
(8,491 posts)I sat there and held him the whole time. I saw his life leave and made sure he saw me. I took him to die and to this day it hurts just as much as it did 20 some years ago. He was the best dog.
AloeVera
(1,944 posts)I had a cat-soulmate called Mafla. He was human really, and rarely left my side. He would jump into my arms when I came home from work and it was all fun and games and soul-communing after that. I loved him so much.
When he got sick it was devastating to say the least. I also held him on my lap, thinking that was best, just petting, talking and crying. In the last few moments of his life he lifted his head to look at me. It must have taken supernatural strength as he was so weak. I will never forget the mixture of love and sadness he managed to express with his eyes. He held his gaze until his last breath. Dear Mafla.
Since then, I get down to their level, eye-to-eye, so they know I'm truly with them. As sad as it is, it's never as bad as with Mafla.
Some sadness never leaves, Eko.
Nigrum Cattus
(98 posts)That's why I don't euthanize my cats.
1) They have all known they were dying, all 20 over 60+ years.
2) They are carnivores, they know death.
3) I am just their human, not their "owner".
By the way I have never adopted any of my cats, they all came to me.
And I am grateful & humbled to have been their friend.
mopinko
(71,802 posts)i ended up w my moms dog. when i took him out to see her, she told me it was time. i wouldnt have done it just then, but it was her call. ive regretted that 1, tho.
im looking at that rn. have a 12 1/2 yo 80 lb bully. hes rly starting to have trouble getting around. logistics will b tough, and will have to b a factor. but ill do everything i can. ive already made mods.
if they get to where they need meds all the time, or r in great pain, ive always done the thing. i feel like if i cd explain to them y its happening, it wd b different. but my time in hospice tells me that they wd gladly endure anything for more time.
his half bro just passed a month ago. my ex had him. he just closed his eyes in their arms.
that only happens w patience.
Laurelin
(642 posts)I worry more that I put it off too long and let them suffer unnecessarily, but they can't speak for themselves and I need to feel very sure.
I also attended family death beds, with family who wanted to go and did NOT want more time or suffering. One family member coded and despite her clearly expressed wishes that she be allowed to die naturally, her husband insisted she be revived. She was furious with him. She lived in pain for another day and then died. Her sister had better luck. She told her doctors she didn't want to be revived when her body failed and they let her go.
I'm quite glad I live in a country where doctor assisted suicide is legal. We don't all want more time if we're suffering .
I'm not saying your pup is ready to go. I'm sure you know your dog best. I spent months helping my senior lab around with a rolled up towel under her belly. She wasn't in pain and was happy. She wasn't at all happy when she was completely paralyzed below the waist though and I let her go.
mopinko
(71,802 posts)most ppl, early on, dxd w something horrible will say- im not waiting around.
but they soon start to cherish every ok day. they also find out that the family they thought wd b burdened want every minute, too.
i have few regrets. but i do have a few.
Response to republianmushroom (Original post)
Mosby This message was self-deleted by its author.
Lithos
(26,452 posts)I have attended all but 2 in their final moments. Those two died in a situation where it was not expected for them to die.
While they are but a moment in my life, I am their life. It's my responsibility to be there for the hard parts as well as the easy parts. People who do not feel otherwise need to reconsider their relationship with their pets.
mopinko
(71,802 posts)i ended up w my moms little cocker when she went into assisted living. my son got attached to him.
when it was time, as decreed by mom, my son wanted to go. he was about 10. the dog was 17, and very frail. they had a hella time placing the catheter. it was grim.
after spending time as a hospice volunteer, ill b slower to do this than in the past, i think.
the dog my ex ended up w went peacefully last month. he got that last minute rush of energy the day b4 and played some ball.
i have his half bro, 6 mos younger. the day is coming. le sigh.
no points for giving them a good life, if u dont give them a good death.
Wild blueberry
(7,185 posts)Been with all of my dogs and cats at the end. Best was when the vet could come to our house.
Our pets give us so much. They deserve this last grace.
Ocelot II
(120,833 posts)only a few weeks apart, and I couldn't be with them because of the vets' covid rules. It still breaks my heart that they had to leave this world without me and just with strangers in masks. I hope they have forgiven me, wherever they are.
cilla4progress
(25,903 posts)So hard...
We were very fortunate last time, a mobile vet came to our home.
Xavier Breath
(5,011 posts)He was on his favorite pillow, she inserted the needle and he just went to sleep as we stroked his fur. The vet got him prepared and I was honored to carry him out to her van.
mountain grammy
(27,273 posts)I hugged him and said "see you soon" I'm 76. Hope I can go as peacefully as he did.
AloeVera
(1,944 posts)Don't leave your pets to die alone!
I have some bittersweet memories of bending down and looking into their eyes and crying and giving love. Each one looked back, never took their eyes off of me. I swear I saw love and gratitude.
There I go again.
Please STAY with your pets.
ShazzieB
(18,651 posts)I can promise you that those who follow that forum will really appreciate it! 🐕🐈🐩
republianmushroom
(17,630 posts)BWdem4life
(2,463 posts)But it would be selfish to not ease their pain and confusion by euthanizing them, IMO.
Our latest to pass away, Cece, probably didn't even know it was the end. She just fell asleep (drug-induced) after which they did the final injection.
I am glad to have been with her in her final moments.
LetMyPeopleVote
(154,470 posts)Several years ago, I flew my middle child down from law school in Iowa to say goodbye to my beardie. I picked my middle child up at the airport and we drove to the vet's office. It was nice to see my bearded collie close his eyes with his head in my child's lap.
This year I sat with my oldest at the vet's office as he said goodbye to his beardie. The beardie knew that I was there and had me pet him while he had his head in my oldest child's lap. We were there for almost 2 hours before the vet gave the first shot to start the process
These pets are family members and they deserve to be with their loved ones at the end.
Warpy
(113,130 posts)There was a seroes pf cats when I was younger, some put down when they had prevaccine distemper. I knew the kitty was sick and I didn't buy the "we took her to a farm" story.
When it's time, I've never let a furry friend face it alone, even though friends have had cats who did just that, going out into the yard and hiding under a bush for their final exit.
I held HRH while the anesthesia shot took effect, had my hand on her back when the potassium went in. She'd been a friend for 20 years and deserved no less.
no_hypocrisy
(48,782 posts)thing to do was to take her to the cat hospital.
I stayed with her for the first shot and the second shot. I held her. I wanted her to feel me, feel the warmth of my body, feel my arms gently cradling her, talking softly to her, to smell me.
When she went limp, the vet confirmed there was no heartbeat. And the vet let me continue to hold her and talk to her.
And I cried like never before. I surrendered her and walked back to the waiting room. The staff was wonderful and caring. They refused to let me leave (to drive home) until I stopped crying for 15 minutes. One hour later, I was still crying. They gave me limitless tissues.
I'm crying now.
I could live to be a hundred and this moment I had with Alice may have been the most humane thing I'll ever do.
TomSlick
(11,887 posts)I carry them into the vet's and hold them during the procedure. I then bring them home and bury them myself. I try not to break down until the grave is dug.
I owe them that.
milestogo
(17,813 posts)In nature animals never want to be seen as weak and vulnerable, so they will do whatever is needed to protect themselves. For animals in the home, they may still seek out a quiet place.
I had a fifteen year old dog. One weekend he was scratching at the door to the basement. The only time he ever went down there was when he was sick. I think he was going down there to die. So I picked him up and put him on my bed - he died within an hour. I'm glad I got to be with him.
babylonsister
(171,609 posts)I laid down right by her side, stroked her and held her front paws. I felt honored to be there.