The Most Glorious Moments Of Instant Karma

[Bayard]

There's a section of the beach for dogs. All the locals take their dogs there to play, no leads. There's signs designated for it. One time, we took our previous dog down to play. This collie had nothing but absolute love for any human, even more so for kids. She saw a kid, she'd grab the ball, walk up and drop it about 5 foot away and wait patiently with a wagging tail for the throw.
This one particular day, she did just this when she saw a family. We saw her go to them, lay down and wait, we waved and smiled at them saying "You can throw it". Before we even finished the sentence, this dude stood up and full on kicked her in the ribs.
She turned to run but was gasping and crying. He went for a 2nd kick, she dodged and his bare foot went straight into a rock, f****r broke all his toes. F**k tourists honestly.



8 years ago I was very pregnant and crossing a busy street in a crosswalk in Austin. An old SUV zoomed around the corner, accelerated like it was trying to hit me (I guess because I was too slowly waddling across the crosswalk), slammed on their brake about 2 feet from running me over, and leaned on their horn while flicking me off and yelling out the window at me to walk faster. It all happened in about 5 seconds and had me really freaked out, I thought they were going to get out of the car and attack me. Out of nowhere, an undercover police car parked on the street who'd seen the whole thing, turned on their siren and lights, pulled the car over, and absolutely LIT into them. Like totally tore the guy apart. I stood there and listened for a while 😂 I'm still chasing that instant karma high. I have never ever seen as amazing an instant karma as that! I was super freaked out because they'd acted like they'd wanted to kill me. I still can't believe how it turned out because tbh their road rage was so scary.



Was walking back from the pub, not too late at night. It was raining. My friend stopped, lifted his foot above a snail (ready to stomp on it) and said "I f'ing hate snails" and then stomped.. It wasn't a snail, but a dog turd, which sprayed right up his other leg and shoes.


Years ago I was walking past a bar in upstate NY when a couple walks out, the guy goes left and the woman goes right. The guy flipped into a rage, grabs the woman, slaps her across the face and screams at her “I told you to follow me b***h!”. As soon as the words leave his mouth a giant bouncer tackles the guy, sits on his chest and starts repeatedly slapping him across the face and calling him a b***h.
Hows that feel b***h? *SLAP*
Hows that feel b***h? *SLAP*
Over and over until the cops showed up. Thats when I got out of there, not sure what happened after that lol.



One time a guy pulled up next to me in a modified car at a red light. I'm not sure what it's called in English but it was one of those cars that are very close to the ground. As he pulled up next to me he started revving the engine while giving me the finger for some reason. as the light turned green he hit the gas and drove straight into a bump on the road and his entire fender fell off. I just smiled at him while driving past.



Over 20 years ago at Megacon in Orlando Florida, traffic was bad for parking, I let a car squeeze in ahead of me, well apparently this guy had been trying to merge for a while, and next thing I know he pays for my parking. Instant Carma.


A guy cut me in line at the grocery store. I pointed out that I was in line and he just shrugged his shoulders and turned his back to me. The checker on the next line over called for next in line and he ran over there. Then the checker left while he was unloading groceries. I was able to check out and bag my groceries before his checker ever came back.


In high school, a shy girl asked a guy to the prom and he scornfully said no and made his disgust very public. He wasn't exactly the most popular or good looking guy, but he had big ambitions. Right after publicly embarrassing his would-be suitor, he asked a very popular girl to the prom. She made it known, very loudly, that she wanted nothing to do with him. Nasty, but I felt like he deserved it. A few days later, he asked another popular girl to the prom in a very over the top, very public promposal involving multiple expensive flower bouquets. She took one look at the spectacle and walked away without saying anything. I actually don't blame her b/c it was a pretty embarrassing and she didn't want to be involved. That was a good second wave of karma.



I use to work in a 24 hour emergency vet hospital. We were extremely busy one night dealing with stat after stat so the waiting room filled up with cases that were non emergent. One woman, who was there because her dog had an ear infection, kept harassing the receptionists demanding when she would be seen. They tried to explain to her many times that there were more emergent cases that needed to be seen first, which included one dog needing immediate cpr, she did not care. She called us every name under the sun and demanded that because she arrived before everyone she needed to be put in a room next, told her to sit down to see what could be done. Shortly after sitting down she started screaming at the top of her lungs. A family next to her whose Saint Bernard happened to have an extremely large pus filled abscess on his ear decided to shake his head right after she sat down and ruptured his foul smelling abscess allllll over her. She decided right after that her dog could wait to see his regular vet tomorrow and she went home. Everyone in the waiting room and the entire staff told that Saint Bernard how much of a good boy he was.



I was playing volleyball in middle school gym, and I messed up. Marc came up and started berating me, telling me I’m awful and mess everything up and I suck. In the middle of his insults, someone else kicked a volleyball that accidentally smacked him right in the face, knocking out a tooth. He cried like a baby. I got detention for laughing. Worth it.



30 years ago, I paid for one newspaper (from a newspaper coin operated container), but I took two out. As I left, my untucked shirt got stuck in the door. I had to pay to get my shirt back out as I laughed at the justice.



Seeing one of my logo designs in a job candidate’s portfolio during an interview. End of interview.


Old lady with a walker shoved my toddler out the way to get on a tram, then scolded her for being in the way. Two seconds later her walker got jammed between the tram and the pavement, she panicked and shouted for help. I helped her out, but with a loud commentary to toddler about THAT’S why we don’t push in front of people.


On my way to work, almost running late. Pulled up to a 4 way stop the same time as this other dude im the lane perpendicular to me, said dude is to my right so he has the right of way (in this state anyway). So I wait but blinks the high beams to let me know to go first. I start to go, dude guns in right in front or me as im like halfway across the intersection so I slam my brakes and let the dips**t go. I get through the intersection and the cop that was sitting in a driveway with the lights off whips past me and pulls this idiot over. Very satisfying. .


I once saw a guy steal a bag of dog turds, the woman that picked it up put it in one of those little gift bags. She set the bag down on a bench and went over to get a bottle of water from a vending machine. While her back was turned I saw a guy creeping up, looking around to see if anyone was looking at him. When he got a little closer, he snatched up the bag of turds and took off running down the boardwalk. I didn't get to see his face when he opened the bag to check out his big heist or just stuck his hand in to pull out what was in there, but it had to be funny.


There was a long line for drinks at an outdoor bar in Tahoe. I’m next in line when a smug guy just walks straight up to the window, cutting in front of everybody. I confronted him and he said something like “I’ve been here for hours. What are you doing to do?” Right as the bartender came back from running the last person’s card, the guy starts ordering. I look at the bartender and loudly say “he cut in front of the line and seems intoxicated”.
As soon as I said that, another bartender comes over and tells the guy “you’re cut off”. He called the other bartenders over and said “this guy is cut off”. No more drinks for him that night.


I was sitting in my wife's car while she ran into the store for something. I was watching a baseball game on my phone when this hand came through the window and tried to grab my phone. I jerked it away and it fell between the car seats, he started calling me names which insinuated that my first name was Ritz. I don't know where that cop came from, but the phone grabber was quickly on the ground in handcuffs. It turns out that I wasn't the first person he tried to do the grab on, the cop was following him because he was recognized by security cam.


Late 1960's. 50 guys taking a physical for the Navy. When it's my turn to have blood drawn, I turn my head and close my eyes. Big burly guy calls me a wuss. When it's his turn, he watches ostentatiously. Corpsman gets about halfway through, BBG faints dead away.


One time, I was at a busy grocery store, and this guy cut in front of an elderly woman in the checkout line, acting like he didn’t see her. Not even two minutes later, his credit card got declined. The cashier looked at him and said, 'Looks like you’ll have to wait your turn after all.' The old lady gave a little smirk as she got to go first. Instant karma at its finest!


I went to the bank after work one time to deposit some money. Noticed that someone left their debit card in the slot, so I turned it in to the front desk. Went to Chipotle after, got my usual order and they told me to just take it away for free since the register/card system was having issues.



What's your karma story?

[Picaro]

1. Fun read

Thanks for posting.