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debm55

(35,903 posts)
Sun Sep 22, 2024, 10:41 PM Sep 22

Update I"m FREE, I'm FREE Good night everyone and have a great day tomorrow..I finally got a call from my mother.

Last edited Mon Sep 23, 2024, 08:46 PM - Edit history (3)

yesterday. Call started with "you didn't call about Rich" I asked about the cards ,gifts, or calls from them. Gaslighting started that I said I didn;t want calls. Never said that. Rich sent my sister a balloon basket with a teddy and chocolates. It was my fault that Rich had to pick up my sister in Westmoreland and back to Pittsburgh. Twice a day. It was my fault I was partially blind, It was my fault that my dad loved me better then her. (Even though he aimed a shotgun at my head and told me he would blow my brains out. But debbie he didn't pull the trigger. It was my fault that my grandmother every Saturday would wash me inside and out. she was peculiar.I t was my fault that my brother called me a Pimple Faced Whore and constantly beat me. He was on drugs, no he was drunk, no he was antisocial. It was my fault my sister locked Rich outside my apartment as she hit me over the head with a black MaBell dial phone and tried to strangle me while my mother watched.during a tutoring session. And after getting out of the hospital I still tutored her. I left her to go to college when I knew she needed help. I was and still am unlovable. to them And then she hung up. And then I realized they are mentally ill. always were and were too proud to get it. My mother. words of wisdom were I shit you out , you didn;t shit me out. when I asked for an apology. asked for help for college or my wedding. Posters if you have a mother that loved you , really loved you. be proud and happy. Love her and her kind words of wisdom. This is not to take the OP down in any way. I have learned that the strenght was in me all the time. I needed that call for the kick in the pants to get over blaming myself or thinking what I did was wrong. I love Rich , and my son. It took me awhile to get through the raging but I am free, I am loved and I am strong. Bless you all
I am free. Debbie. PS after the her rage, she hung up on me.
13 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Update I"m FREE, I'm FREE Good night everyone and have a great day tomorrow..I finally got a call from my mother. (Original Post) debm55 Sep 22 OP
my pleasure barbtries Sep 22 #1
Thank you very much, barbtries debm55 Sep 22 #2
enjoy! barbtries Sep 22 #3
Joy. Goodnight. LoisB Sep 23 #4
kick debm55 Sep 23 #5
Now you see. OldBaldy1701E Sep 24 #6
Your family didn't deserve you, Debbie. I'm so glad you are finally free! HeartsCanHope Sep 24 #7
Congratulations 👏💙😁 it feels so good to get past the self blame TommieMommy Sep 24 #8
I am so happy you have worked your way to finally having relief that NONE OF IT IS, WAS YOUR FAULT!!! a kennedy Sep 24 #9
SO PROUD OF YOU! XanaDUer2 Sep 24 #10
Thank you XanaDUer. It was my fault they didn't call, send a fricken card or a gift basket. I am tired of being my fault debm55 Sep 24 #11
Yeah I learned saturday XanaDUer2 Sep 24 #12
I'm so glad you feel free of them arkielib Sep 24 #13

OldBaldy1701E

(6,331 posts)
6. Now you see.
Tue Sep 24, 2024, 06:16 AM
Sep 24

It took me a long time to get over what I finally figured out about my mother. I am still dealing with it decades later.

But I damned sure don't regret going all but no contact. The irony is that she really likes my husband and will converse with him on occasion. So I am kept informed on the home front even as I apologise to him every day for connecting the two.

HeartsCanHope

(735 posts)
7. Your family didn't deserve you, Debbie. I'm so glad you are finally free!
Tue Sep 24, 2024, 06:56 AM
Sep 24

No child or adult deserves to be hurt by their family, EVER. Be happy, my friend! Be happy with your husband, and son--your REAL family. Hugs to all of you!

TommieMommy

(1,096 posts)
8. Congratulations 👏💙😁 it feels so good to get past the self blame
Tue Sep 24, 2024, 08:09 AM
Sep 24

I finally did it too years ago and eliminated my mother from my life. She didn't care that I was sexually attacked and watched my fiance beat me up. Didn't care. Never hugged me or said I love you. I get the free feeling and it's wonderful. Enjoy your new life. Happiness is within. You will be ok. 💙

a kennedy

(32,066 posts)
9. I am so happy you have worked your way to finally having relief that NONE OF IT IS, WAS YOUR FAULT!!!
Tue Sep 24, 2024, 08:41 AM
Sep 24

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

XanaDUer2

(13,829 posts)
10. SO PROUD OF YOU!
Tue Sep 24, 2024, 12:00 PM
Sep 24

I didn't reach out to loved ones today after Saturday. Between not even getting a text saying a relative won't make my bday and the amount of abuse I got Sat when I shared my hurt worth my sister, and it was bad, I'm too done. Gotta stop chasing love and support from relatives.

Fuck them all. Hoping you and Rich move forward in peace. I would say my cousin is not mentally ill. My half sister. Is a psycho. Its a bit freeing.

debm55

(35,903 posts)
11. Thank you XanaDUer. It was my fault they didn't call, send a fricken card or a gift basket. I am tired of being my fault
Tue Sep 24, 2024, 12:20 PM
Sep 24

I"m free. Sometimes for some relatives it's like beating your head against the wall. You're free. Bless you. Love, Debbie.

XanaDUer2

(13,829 posts)
12. Yeah I learned saturday
Tue Sep 24, 2024, 12:26 PM
Sep 24

My sister is not a safe person to share my feelings with. And I'm too much trouble for a cousin who I thought was my best friend. My life is messy.

No, its not you. Its horrible that your husband did all this for your narcissistic selfish family and they don't gas he has CANCER. Holy christ. My cousin skipped my surgery bc she was busy and has a new boss. Then she went to Happy Hour with them.

Just concentrate on you, rich, your son. Stop reaching out. Youll have to stand alone. I was thinking how lucky I am to have a relative within driving distance. What a delusional idiot I am!

arkielib

(353 posts)
13. I'm so glad you feel free of them
Tue Sep 24, 2024, 02:57 PM
Sep 24

and from any guilt related to them. I’m sorry you had to deal with such abuse. Nothing was ever your fault. They are indeed mentally and emotionally ill. And there is nothing you can do to help them or change that. I’m so thankful you have Rich and your son in your life. Stay free of and away from your mother and sister!! You deserve a life free of them!

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