The shit that stays in my head. It was 62 years ago. I was a senior in h.s., weighed about 105 pounds.

[3Hotdogs]

He was a bully and I was his target.

How I hated him.

A couple of years later, he got drafted Or maybe he enlisted. And he got killed in Viet Nam.

I was glad.

And for some reason, he came up in my head today.

He's still dead. And I'm still glad.

[Deuxcents]

1. Whoa 😳 That's a long time to harbor hateful thoughts

“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.” Buddha
Maybe you could love that he gave his life in battle and release all that pent up anger for the New Year? Best wishes

[3Hotdogs]

9. This was the first time I thought about him in years. -- probably 20 or 30 years.

I don't know what made me think of him. So no, he doesn't dwell in my head on a continuing basis. And I am fairly happy with my life as it is now.


The post is about a bit of "free association." I do that on D.U. from time to time. I post about old girlfriends/lovers. My thoughts about growing old and other odd bits of stuff that pop into my head.

I hope these mental meanderings give people things to think about in their own lives.

[3Hotdogs]

10. --- and your second line .....

The war that he gave his life to, was Viet Nam. It didn't do him any good. It didn't do Viet Nam any good and it didn't do the U.S. any good.

His life was wasted.

[getagrip_already]

12. Even within bad wars, there can be good acts

Someone could save a civilian, or save the life of a fellow soldier, or even spare the enemy, who then go on to do great things.

People survived MI Lai, in part because soldiers wouldn't be total assholes and were willing to do the right thing against the grain.

So even in bad wars, individuals can do good things.

[Silent Type]

2. Totally get it. I think high school sucks for most people, even the bullies.

[Codifer]

3. Yup

Plus one

[Skittles]

5. kills me to hear people talk about how tough high school was

I went to three high schools - in England, Iowa and Illinois - try high school with an ever-changing address.....and yes - the same "group" of people were in all of them.

[Ziggysmom]

6. Yup, the name on the outside is different, but inside all high schools are much the same.

I hated them all. I was picked on for being a nerd, and dressing funny. I had a mother who was horrible & forced me to wear clothes that were many years out of style and quite matronly.

[Skittles]

13. as someone who was always the new girl

I wreaked a bit of havoc

example: I saw a skinny kid with acne and glasses sitting alone at a cafeteria table, and at a nearby table I saw a couple of assholes tossing bits of food at him.....so went over and tossed my tray of food, including the drink, at those two assholes......very satisfying

[Ziggysmom]

14. I approve 100%. I used to stick up for the kids being picked on, too. One kid that was brutally

bullied in my Jr High looked like Napoleon Dynamite. Last laugh is on the bullies. The nerd kid is extremely wealthy, and is a successful corporate attorney today. You are right - it feels really good to support the underdog. Feels good to kick some bully ass, too!

[The Magistrate]

4. Raise A Toast To The Justice Of The Universe, Sir

And the best of the coming year to you.

[BlueTsunami2018]

7. This person must have done horrific things to you.

For you to still be reveling in his death sixty years later.

I’m sorry that happened to you.

[3Hotdogs]

11. See my reply to the first respondent.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

8. Do you want to let that feeling go?

Watch "Sing Street". The story is charming and the bully has a back story.

There's a bully in my past too. Decades later, as an attorney he crossed paths with my mother. She mentioned his treatment of me and wanted to take me to lunch. I declined and my mother thought me petty. That was 30 years ago. Maybe today I would be more forgiving.

[Wuddles440]

15. It's probably just a coincidence...

but after contracting Covid last spring (near the 6 month mark of my last booster), some traumatic relationship episodes (primarily involving spousal infidelity) that I had relegated to the dark corners of my subconscious and suppressed for decades, began consuming my thoughts on a regular basis. Not only do I relive the nightmares all over again, but I've begun to remember additional details that in retrospect are even more difficult to resolve. I thought I was generally able to forgive and move on but that's not the case anymore. Weird.

[debm55]

16. Hate is the opposite of love, so I don;t use it. I had a HS that was full of bullies. I was an art nerd. small and very

smart.. It would be easy to come home from that crap to a loving home. Not for me. I came home to a younger brother who called me a Pimple Faced Whore for three years. Not a peep from my parents. I went to college, got engaged and got pregnant. My Mothers response was" see your brother was right, you are a pimple faced whore" I had a miscarriage. Father held a hunting rifle to my head and told me he would blow my brains out. I wish I had the strength that some of you had, I didn't, I don't hate them. but things can and do bother you, terribly. This was just a moment of many occasions in school and home. School is easier to leave then family. I don't like them, let alone love them. I am trying my hardest to let go at 68 I have reached my limit. We are different, with different families and personalities .No one is right or wrong in their approach. And a trigger is just what it means--bring back the tears,the hurt in the heart and pain of a time you thought you were beyond, but you weren't