Border Patrol Agent Testifies On DC 'Sandwich Guy': 'I Could Smell The Onions'

[BumRushDaShow]

Source: Huff Post

Nov 4, 2025, 11:50 AM EST | Updated 2 hours ago


The U.S. Border Patrol agent who was struck with a Subway sandwich in Washington, D.C., in August testified on the incident in federal court on Tuesday.

Gregory A. Lairmore, a 23-year veteran of the agency, said he was not injured by the sandwich toss, but said he could feel its impact through the ballistic vest he was wearing. It came apart and “kind of exploded” when it struck his chest, according to Lairmore. “I could smell the onions and mustard,” he said.

Lairmore was called to the stand to testify in the trial of D.C. “Sandwich Guy” Sean Dunn, who’s become something of a local anti-Trump resistance hero. Viral videos showed Dunn hurling the sandwich at Lairmore after calling him and other federal agents “fascists” shortly before the president declared a crime emergency in Washington, D.C.

Jeanine Pirro, the U.S. attorney for D.C., tried to charge Dunn with felony assault of a federal agent, but a grand jury declined to return an indictment. Prosecutors have proceeded with a misdemeanor charge against Dunn. His jury trial started on Tuesday.

Read more: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/dc-sandwich-guy-border-patrol-testifies_n_690a25f4e4b04ad08e189683?origin=home-zone-b-unit

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REFERENCE - https://www.democraticunderground.com/10143558558

It's a full moon folks.


(just took this tonight on my iPhone 17 Pro - all wobbly handheld)

[sheshe2]

1. I saw the moon rising!

Magnificent. Thanks for the pic.

[3825-87867]

8. Don't go 'round tonight...

!

[Pinback]

28. There's a bathroom on the right! (nt)

[Chrysanthemum]

57. Philly?

A local radio station in the eighties had a DJ in the morning who always had a segment called "Misconstrued Lyrics." "There's a bathroom on the right" featured prominently

[Pinback]

59. That sounds like fun

I’m not from Philly, but I’m sure I would have enjoyed that show. My cousin told me shortly after that Creedence album came out that she misheard the lyrics that way, so she independently “invented” that one along with a few million other people.

I remember several years back somebody came out with a book of funny misheard lyrics; the book was titled ‘Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy.

[BumRushDaShow]

10. "Full Beaver" (or "Frost) Moon!

[UpInArms]

2. He recognized the onion smell

because of his armpits

[twodogsbarking]

3. So they are saying they were tear gassed?

[Clouds Passing]

53. Thread Winner!

[0rganism]

4. These people are so weird

[SSJVegeta]

5. Reads like an onion article

Cause thats what this timeline is now

[Klarkashton]

6. Only at this point in the decline of the US would this

Shit ever be brought to a goddamn trial.

[Cirsium]

7. Is this the Onion?

The guy must have had some mustard on that throw.

[BumRushDaShow]

9. Depending on the verdict

he might end up with some ketchup "thrown" too!

[Cirsium]

17. ooooh

I'd relish that.

[BumRushDaShow]

19. Lettuce enjoy THAT show!

[Cirsium]

22. I can't beet that

[BumRushDaShow]

27. Olive ya anyway!

(time for me to go to bed )

[orangecrush]

36. I'll bet that toasted his buns

[BumRushDaShow]

37. Eggsactly!

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

55. I never sausage a thread as this.

Or, not since PinboyThreeNiner

[BumRushDaShow]

56. Hey! I yam what I yam!

[3825-87867]

11. but said he could feel its impact through the ballistic vest he was wearing!

...damn lucky it was a deadly sub he "felt"and not a 762 like some of my friends!
Bone spurs must have been contagious.
Prick!

[SomewhereInTheMiddle]

63. Low-bid, government-issue vest?

With that kind of ballistic resistance, I hope he never faces a real weapon - like a lightly lobbed pebble or an airsoft powered plastic ball.

I can believe the scent statements. But his claim of feeling the impact makes me wonder if his great grandmother slept on a stack of mattresses hiding a legume. A very sensitive guy.

[Diraven]

12. As someone who loves onions

This is making me hungry.

[littlemissmartypants]

13. I heard this reported on the radio on the way home today and I couldn't stop laughing. ...

If it weren't for the fact ICE was the motivation, it would be even funnier.

The moon shot is a winner! ❤️

[2na fisherman]

14. Agent Lairmore Is So Courageous

He's the HERO of the stupid! And I heard that the defendant allegedly threw a can of soda at him too but that case had to be thrown out because everyone knows you can't make a case out of one can.

[Chrysanthemum]

58. HaHa!

Cute joke.

[TheRickles]

15. And he's allergic to onions, so the "explosion" triggered a wave of sneezing and tearing up and nasal stuffiness

That necessitated a visit to his primary care doctor, which led to a prescription for some very powerful medications, and being placed on extended medical leave from work. So he'll be suing for personal injury and damages and PTSD and whatever else there is.

Ridiculous!

[NBachers]

16. I don't think the testimony chives with the lunacy of the charges.

[2MuchNoise]

18. I'm laughing so damn hard I can't catch my breath.

Don't fire until you see the whites of their...Er um until you smell the onions and mustard.

[CaptainTruth]

20. Snowflake.

[Rebl2]

30. Definitely!

[nuxvomica]

21. I hope the defense has a ballistics expert testimony

Or a physicist, to contradict the use of "exploded" when the projectile (a submarine sandwich) actually "disintegrated" on impact. Of course that testimony could be even more hilarious, especially if they do a detailed walk-through like it was the Zapruder film.

[SomewhereInTheMiddle]

64. Rapid involuntary deconstruction to its component parts. Oh, the humanity! nt

[Grokenstein]

23. Strange...all I smell is pork. And bullshit.

The krasnov kombo.

[moniss]

24. They wonder why they are held to such a high level of ridicule from

around the country and around the world.

[sinkingfeeling]

25. Oh, the humanity! He could smell the onions and mustard. Must be the crime of the century.

[progressoid]

26. Good thing he was wearing that ballistic vest!!11!!

[Rebl2]

29. Oh the horror

of the smell of onions and mustard!😱

[PurgedVoter]

31. Don't belittle his PTSD!

To be haunted by the smell of onions and mustard. To be unable to enter a sandwich shop because it triggers your flashbacks. The horror! It never stops. Waking up screaming and knowing that without the bullet proof vest, it might have been a close thing.
And then there is the survivors guilt. Knowing that while you lived, the victims of the Bowling Green massacre never had a chance.

[58Sunliner]

32. Love the moon shot! As for that bp agent, what a victim.🙄

[BumRushDaShow]

34. Imagine if that roll was just a few hours older

It would have been like a torpedo! And it wouldn't have needed to be a "foot long" either!

[58Sunliner]

35. Ha! Nothing more vicious than a hard, day old dinner roll.

[DBoon]

42. or a rubber biscuit

?list=RDzTZFPgCMLRw

[republianmushroom]

38. Hung jury.

[niyad]

39. I thought this WAS The Onion, not he "smelled the onion".

[CanonRay]

40. Well, at least we know his name now.

[fargone]

41. He may have suffered a cold cut on his arm

[EuterpeThelo]

43. Yeah, I cry over onions too

But mainly because (a) they cost so much after they deported everyone that picked them for us, and (b) thinking about the people who can't even afford one without SNAP.

[efhmc]

45. Not an onion lover but they do seem to be part of our food culture. The small ones are easily grown from cut off root

bottoms to sautee and use in soups, etc.

[Randomthought]

44. Acctivated his armpit?

Onion and mustard? Stinky guy .

[DBoon]

51. if this agent bathed once in a while

he might not smell like onion

[efhmc]

46. Thanks for the beautiful picture. (You folks are really having fun with this one.)

[BumRushDaShow]

48. Most welcome - my first attempt at the enhanced zoom on the phone. :D

What's funny is that when the story first broke about this guy, they called the thing a "hoagie", which is what we call them here in Philly (as a regional name for something in a long roll)... But I know Subway basically calls theirs "Subs", which is more common in much of the country. I know in New England, they'll heat them and call them "grinders" (and I think Subway also calls them that if they run them through an oven).

So I guess to solve that problem, they just started calling it "a sandwich" and dubbed him "Sandwich Guy".

[SomewhereInTheMiddle]

65. In the south ...

Last edited Fri Nov 7, 2025, 03:26 AM - Edit history (1)

... I remember people using po' boys and hoagies to describe the long cold cut concoction.

[BumRushDaShow]

66. I have had a few "po' boys" over the years!

mostly shrimp!

[Aristus]

47. What a bunch of spineless wimps. I wish I was the judge on the case.

"And tell me again what the plaintiff did?"

"He done th'ew a sammich at me!..."

"Case dismissed. And get your putrid, yellow-bellied carcass out of my court room, and slither back into whatever swamp you oozed out of."

[ruet]

49. ...

[DrFunkenstein]

50. Dick Cheney Shoots a Guy In The Face...

...This guy throws a sandwich.

[mike_c]

52. OMG he could have died!

I'm surprised the nazi could give testimony with a straight face. "Yes, I feared for my life when I saw a slice of tomato. Really. It was terrifying. "

[Raven123]

54. "Make them smell the onions" will be a great protest sign

[Beacool]

60. You can't make it up....

Wuuaahhh!!!! Your honor, he hit me with a sandwich, I could smell the onions and the mustard!!! Oh, the humanity!!! These weak little goons who are terrorizing people, couldn't handle a sandwich being thrown at them. The whole thing seems like something out of the Onion. Pathetic....

[tonekat]

61. The Silence of The Alliums

"It puts the mustard on it's skin or it gets the hose!"

[Hekate]

62. Did the onion make him cry?

The big bold tough manly man got onion and mustard on his tactical vest?

[tonekat]

67. With apologies to the late Lou Reed

Vicious
You hit me with a sandwich
I'm so glad it's not a Manwich™
Oh, baby, you're so vicious
Vicious
You want me to hit you with a stick
But all I've got's a guitar pick
Heh, baby, you're so vicious

[Chorus]
When I watch you come, baby, I just wanna run, far away
You're not the kind of person 'round I wanna stay
When I see you walking down the street
I step on your hands and I mangle your feet
You're not the kind of person that I want to meet
Oh, babe, you're so vicious
You're just so vicious