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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsPlatner's "Frat Boy" Crap Is Why We Should Elect More Women
Based on the most recent accusation of sexual assault by Platner, years ago, i'm sure there are other stories out there that haven't yet been told. All of which makes me wary of a lot of men who run for office. Generally, candidates have a history that goes back to their college days and their early 20s. All too often, that history has incidents in it that are damning. In most cases, the stories of sexual activities, including assaults and behavior that could be considered to be rape never are revealed. But, when they are, we're shocked.
Why are we shocked? Do we not remember the frat boys from our college days who kept a record of all of the women they had sex with. Notches on the gunstock, more or less? Why do we think that we'd know about such things unless a victim came forward? In most cases nobody tells such stories about their youthful mistakes and errors.
I was a college guy. I saw that stuff happen in real life. I wasn't part of it, but most of the guys I knew would take advantage of any situation that would lead to yet another sexual escapade. Is she drunk? Does she have a crush on me? Can I get into her pants? For many guys, those are the questions they ask. I was never that guy.
I remember a party my two housemates and I had one time. There must have been two dozen people there and many of them overindulged in drinking. At that party, there was one woman, about 20 years hold, who somehow got left behind by her ride. We were cleaning up the place and calling it a night when she appeared out of nowhere. Way too much to drink and barely able to stay upright. I knew her, though.
She was going to have to spend the night at our house and get a ride home in the morning. She was draping her arms over the guys, including me. Anywhere else, she'd have been a target of some guy looking for a quickie. I gently led her over to a couch in the living room, got her sat down and brought over a spare pillow. She laid down on the couch. So, I pulled a blanket out of the closet and covered her up. The next morning, I drove her back to her apartment, and that was that.
That's what you do. You don't have sex with the drunk party-goer. For many men, though, that's not the case. And far too many of them continue to take advantage of people's weaknesses in every possible area. All too often, those are the same people who get themselves into positions of trust or power. Same guys. The rest aren't seeking such positions. It's not in their nature. And the opportunists get away with it, because most victims don't come forward.
Someone said to me at some point, "People who seek power should never be allowed to have power." That's true in politics as well. So, I'm never really surprised when someone calls a candidate out for some behavior from the past. I'm surprised when that doesn't happen, really. It's not a good situation at all, and we find ourselves in that situation way more often than we should.
HappyH
(314 posts)If we let them.
YorkRd
(451 posts)The last main Senate election Democrats had a wondrous woman candidate and she got crushed running well behind Biden
EdmondDantes_
(2,362 posts)And even Republican women tend to be more concerned about things like sexual assault. Look at Joni Ernst who has always fought for better protections and reporting around rape in the military.
HappyH
(314 posts)We have to get women elected first.
CBHagman
(17,584 posts)In 2024, Kamala Harris got 48.34% of the popular vote, the Republican ticket got 49.81%, and all other candidates came to 1.85%.
In 2020, Joe Biden got more than 81 million votes, which came to 51.31% of the popular vote, which may surprise some people. But getting more than 50% of the popular vote has only happened with three candidates in recent years: George W. Bush on his second run for the White House, Barack Obama in both elections, and Joe Biden.
And I know 2016 remains a bitter memory, and rightly so, but Hillary Rodham Clinton got 48.2% of the popular vote to Individual One's 46.2%. The electoral votes were decided based on under 80,000 votes across several states.
There were a lot of factors that went into those elections, including Supreme Court decisions, but the numbers themselves are worth considering. We have to fight for every last ballot at this point.
hlthe2b
(115,416 posts)Just sayin'...
MineralMan
(152,152 posts)hlthe2b
(115,416 posts)is there another Maine female candidate with experience and good policy ideas that could take it to Susan Collins and win?
MineralMan
(152,152 posts)It's more of a conceptual thing. We need more women in elected offices everywhere.
Fortunately, where I live, we have elected many women to Congress and the Senate. I don't live in Maine, and I know none of the candidates there.
hlthe2b
(115,416 posts)Still, the issue at hand?
MineralMan
(152,152 posts)I'm going to have to leave it to them, I'm afraid.
lapucelle
(21,365 posts)FakeNoose
(43,276 posts)She's voted against Chump occasionally, and she has shown a moderate-liberal streak in voting for women's rights, for abortion rights, for LGBTQ rights, and one or two other issues.
I think Chump has been downright rude to her a few times. She may turn out to be not-all-bad for our side, if she succeeds in winning another term. I'd still rather see a Dem win, but who knows if that can happen now?
hlthe2b
(115,416 posts)and if you go back and read/listen to her excuses when asked if voting for Kavanaugh would not end up ending abortion rights, her bulllshit was unbelievable.
Hell, no. She is a detestable excuse for a Senator--regardless of gender. But, the abortion issue is rightfully her biggest individual piece of destruction for which she will always ben responsible. (not that it was the only one, but the worst).
Do you really not realize this?!!
MichMan
(17,753 posts)hlthe2b
(115,416 posts)Go back and read or watch the interviews MSM had with her when it was apparent she was going to cast the vote that would allow Kavanagh to be confirmed despite her protestations that he "would never vote to end abortion rights by overturning Roe v Wade" And even now, she has NOT expressed regret for that vote. Go review the rest of her record.
Advocating for Collins is akin to advocating for R's to continue to hold the damned Senate. WTF is going on here?
Why do you wish to bolster her now and with re: her long term reputation? Good gawd. Do you really not care if we win the Senate?
Walleye
(45,914 posts)MineralMan
(152,152 posts)Yes, there are good men who hold offices. Too many crappy ones, though.
Walleye
(45,914 posts)QueerDuck
(2,389 posts)... we'll opt for the woman (or the one with a traditionally female gendered name).
Amaryllis
(11,595 posts)3catwoman3
(30,358 posts)...and attitudes as you are, MM.
MineralMan
(152,152 posts)thank goodness.
3catwoman3
(30,358 posts)...to have it assumed that I could not control my behavior because of my genitalia/hormones/endocrine system.
I was raised to believe that not only was I responsible for my own sexual behavior, it was also up to me not to let a boy/man become too aroused because erections were so painful if not allowed to proceed to their natural conclusion, so to speak, that it was cruel to create such a situation. Also that the male of the species basically "could not help themselves" from becoming uncontrollably aroused. This lecture was presented many, many times.
To be responsible for someone else's behavior is an unfair burden.
I think my mother was terrified that I would get pregnant out of wedlock. I was a teenager in the middle to late 1960s, when this would have been a social disaster of the worst kind.
MineralMan
(152,152 posts)There was a lot of experimenting with sex going on, but I never risked causing a pregnancy. I had a steady girlfriend, and we found plenty of things we could do safely, so we did those things. No pregnancy scares.
littlemissmartypants
(35,843 posts)There's never been anything good about it.
MineralMan
(152,152 posts)moose65
(3,469 posts)I'm a gay man, so I can "infiltrate" male-only gatherings, and in those I have heard things come out of the mouths of co-workers and friends that I never dreamed I'd ever hear. It's really eye-opening to hear what they have to say when there aren't any "womenfolk" around.
MineralMan
(152,152 posts)I've heard it, too. A lot of it is bullshitting, but some of it's not. Shocking at times.
RetiredParatrooper
(275 posts)Does their gender matter? Stuff like this lends credence to the Fascist Party's 'quotas' talking point.
You didn't take advantage of someone who couldn't consent. Congratulations on doing the right thing. However, you say you knew people who did.
What happened?
BannonsLiver
(21,187 posts)Thats not sanctimonious enough.
Quiet Em
(3,317 posts)Would have been great if we did that in 2016.
Would have been terrific if we did that in 2024.
The best candidates, the overwhelmingly best candidates in those years were not of a certain gender though. hmmmm
MineralMan
(152,152 posts)It's a pity they didn't win. We'd be in a completely different situation right if they had. We should never forget that.
NNadir
(38,936 posts)I raised my sons to be men of this type, and I was such a man in myself, including with the woman who became my wife, until she said "yes."
All of my romances that turned sexual in my youth were consensual and generally long lasting and I never thought of women as "conquests;" nor did I have any respect for "frat boy" types at all.
I knew "notch in the gun" types, and uniformly I rejected them as friends.
There is an issue with our, and many other, cultures with respect to the treatment of women, but we should not claim that only women can understand striving for decency in sexual relationships. There is, afterall, the Orange Pedophile's Madam, Ghislane Maxwell.
There are - and we are all aware - women who voted for the orange intellectually weak and immoral rapist in the White House. There are women in the Senate who support him, Senator Collins being among them. Re-electing her will not raise the status of women; it will perpetuate the opposite trend.
I have considered myself a male feminist since my 20's, having had Millet's "Sexual Politics" and Beauvoir's "The Second Sex" on my reading list at that age. I'm an old man now and never forgot what I learned from those readings: None other than Rita Mae Brown of "Rubyfruit Jungle" fame wrote in her philosophical work "Plain Brown Rapper" that she had a hard time understanding that not all men were enemies and not all women were allies, but she did so.
It is intellectually and morally important to understand Brown's point.
Saying that all women candidates are good and all male candidates are bad is simplistic to the extreme. We have after all, on the Supreme Court, an awful religious bigot who voted to surrender women's rights to their own bodies. Barrett is not a decent person because she is a woman. She's a thug, pure and simple, just like the known rapists on the Supreme Court.
Eleanor, not Franklin, Roosevelt is to my mind, the greatest Democrat ever to have lived, and her husband, arguably the greatest Democratic President ever to have lived seems to have had a problem with fidelity, albeit not with a "frat boy" mentality. In her times, Ms. Roosevelt was the greatest feminist in politics, but we cannot say that her husband's sexual peccadillos - which apparently were quite real, he died in the presence of his lover, not his wife - should have precluded his rise to the Presidency. We cannot call Franklin Roosevelt to have been a feminist in the modern sense, but he was the first US President to appoint a woman to the Cabinet, and if he did not respect his marriage as a husband, he respected his wife for her politics and regarded her as a key partner in developing his policies and politics.
swong19104
(688 posts)Lets have, oh, say 300 consecutive years with women only in all leadership positions. We can exclude Moms For Liberty gals or anyone sporting a Mar-a-Lago face.
bigtree
(94,717 posts)...let's go!
Record Number of Democratic Women Running for U.S. House
A new record has been set for Democratic women running for U.S. House seats, according to the latest data from the Center for American Women and Politics (CAWP), a unit of the Eagleton Institute of Politics at Rutgers University. In the 2026 midterms, 364 Democratic women have filed to run for House seats, beating the previous record of 356, set in 2020. Candidate filing is not yet complete in six states, so this number is likely to rise, and a new record may also be set for the total number of women running for House. Currently, 523 women have filed to run for House seats; the record was set in 2020 at 583. The number of filed Republican women House candidates in 2026 is 159; the record for Republican women House candidates was set in 2022 at 261.
https://cawp.rutgers.edu/news-media/press-releases/record-number-democratic-women-running-us-house
ProfessorGAC
(77,779 posts)...people who actually worked for a living. For someone else that wasn't mom or dad.
Then, no matter the gender, we would have representatives that reflect the people in this country.
Coolgoober
(467 posts)That's the sign I intermittently carry at protests ever since Trumps first term. It also says more people of color, less old white men. More lgbtq+,less old white men. And I'm an old white man. Yes let's vote for qualified people but I've never understood why so many old guys run things. I would just like equal representation. Like younger, brown, black, lgbtq+, women, etc. etc. The list goes on. How can a bunch of majority old white guys know what the rest of need and want. They're out of touch
WSHazel
(973 posts)Politicians that lie to get elected is a fairly gender neutral phenomenon. A bisexual woman that was electable out of a red state seemed like a pretty good target candidate for the Democrats, until she wasn't.
Attacking all men has not served the Democratic Party well in the last 10 years, even with women, so why don't we just take candidates as they are, vet them, and choose the best one? We get in trouble when we go too deep into the symbolic, like the blue collar oyster farmer (I suspect every aspect of his background will turn out to be at least 50% bullshit) rather than figure out what the candidate actually believes in.
We also fell for the MAGA trap of demonizing expertise and experience with Platner. I wouldn't mind a man or woman that started local, was elected to state rep or state senate, and then wanted to graduate to federal office. That person likely represents their constituents well, has a long track record to vet, and knows how to get things done.
Martin68
(28,401 posts)experienced, not because of misbehavior by men who never deserved to be elected in the first place. I have too much respect for women to compare them to a man like Platner.
KS Toronado
(24,316 posts)Lot of people in red Kansas are fed up with Marshall, he doesn't even live in Kansas but Florida.
All my election $$$ is going to her this year.
https://www.christydavisforkansas.com/
DemocracyForever
(410 posts)Thank you for saying what needed to be said.
kimbutgar
(27,765 posts)And Ive saved some women from being raped when I was a young woman myself. One friend was being stocked by a guy and she was pretty drunk I got her away and drove her home even though it was out of my way. Im still friends with her from 40 years ago!
Attilatheblond
(9,531 posts)Do I think too many men who seek power are also, or have been, sexual predators? Yes, indeed! But I know such men also go into jobs where they have some bit of power over women in the workplace. It's not just about political candidates, and no, it's not 'all men' but it is WAY too many of them.
Voters need to wise up and apply more critical thinking rather than knee jerk reactions to candidates who just say what we want to hear. And companies need to stop protecting predatory supervisors. Wouldn't hurt if more judges stopped giving wrist slaps to young males who engaged in SA so their futures would not be harmed.
And parents.... the word PARENT is both a noun and a verb! Raise your young males to know there is accountability for actions and they must respect the rights of others. That includes knowing NO means NO. And it includes protecting the vulnerable, as the young men in the OP, and many others have done.
Seems like a lot of responsibility to put on male shoulders? Yeah, that IS correct. But we also place a lot on girls and women, then, too often don't give them the support we should.
Sexual abuse is a societal problem. We cannot wish it away and turning a blind eye just gives the green light to abusers. Protecting them from consequences, as is being done on an international scale of late, is the road to hell for all of us.
Do I think the patriarchy needs to be overturned? Yep, it is a system where those with some power can get away with murder. Do I favor total female control. Nope. What then? Being honest and not falling into cult-ish behaviors. Use the critical thinking evolution provided for us. Do I see it happening? Maybe, but not soon; it'll take a long learning curve for humans to wise the fuck up and stop acting like wild animals.
But it IS our responsibility to work for peaceful, just, respectful, caring coexistence, in homes, schools, employment, and political structures. Failure means extinction. Sadly, I don't think our species is up to the job. On the other side, I do think evolution is an ongoing process and that puppet master isn't done with us yet. Hope our species survives long enough to allow for all we can be.
In the meantime, set aside personal wish lists, deal with what is, and pay fucking attention to those who want control and those who want enabling improvement.