What In The Hell Was I Doing Wearing Klan Robes at 2AM

[GreatGazoo]

My passions include writing, history and filmmaking but I grew up acting. My mother was an actress when I was born so I wound up acting on stage, in commercials, in print ads and runway modeling clothes. In the last 10 years or so I have focused mostly on writing but that can be lonely and unmotivated. Right after covid, tons of money poured into content production for the streamers -- HBO, Netflix, HULU. I got an agent and she kept me busy doing background acting, aka "Extra"

I play bad guys. Returning to acting, my first gig was "a foul-mouthed Trumper". It was a non-union student film so I could speak.
Then "A millionaire at an investment retreat" in S5E2 of Billions. Then a "Republican Congressman" in S2E9 of "Succession" then a bunch of other gigs. I'm about 12 different (not bad) people in "White House Plumbers"

But the gut check came from the producers of 'The Wire'. My agent told me only "In this role you would be wearing a culturally sensitive costume. Are you okay with that?"

We went back and forth. She tells me the production is based in Philip Roth's 2003 book "The Plot Against America" -- an alternate history where Lindberg is elected instead of FDR and America aligns with Hitler. Great. A worthy and timely project but what's this about "culturally sensitive wardrobe"?

"You would be playing a member of the Ku Klux Klan and you would wear actual, vintage robes and a hood from 1940."

I was stunned into silence, my mind racing. My step-father is Black, many of my ancestors were Jewish. I love everyone so even though the project and the role is worthy and not in any way approving or normalizing the Klan, I have to think about how it will affect the way people see me, especially strangers. People who know me know my heart. But we live in the age of memes and so the worst possible case is someone grabs a shot of me on set or a frame grab from the finished production and I wind up in hundreds of memes, my face + Klan robes + text. I trust the team from The Wire. Trust my agent but I will have no control over how my image might be used afterward. I want to do it because I believe in the project and what it has to say about intolerance but wow.

My agent assures me that I will only be seen on screen with that horrible pointy hood on. I never thought that such a guarantee would be good news. I say "yes".

Then she tells me, "You have to wear 1940s underwear to the fitting." Wait. What IS this scene going to be?!
"They are just very thorough and immersive when they do period. Your clothes stay on but get a cotton tank top and boxers."

I go to the fitting and I am shaking. What the hell have I said yes to?!. The Wardrobe supervisor looks sad as he explains what we are about to do. Over my aforesaid 1940s underwear, we put on a layer of like-new 1940s clothing. Then he has most of the other employees and all the actors leave the building. He brings it out -- the robe, the hood, that stupid little rope belt. I put it on and it hits me even harder than I thought it would. A near panic attack as I imagine what would happen if the fire alarm went off in the next 10 minutes. Eg I have to exit the building dressed as authentically as possible like a terrorist. If I was a vampire or something then people would get it but in this outfit people would be genuinely disturbed. I could get hurt too. I'm not an imaginary monster -- I'm a real one.

He tells me "This a real robe and we called Kentucky to make sure these patches are correct..."
"Kentucky?"
"Yes, Klan headquarters." Yeesh.

They photograph me. Hood on. Hood off. It feels like mugshots and hood off is exactly the picture I did not want taken but they are pros and that picture will never circulate, hopefully.

3 weeks later I go to my call time 3PM. We are going to shoot all night. For the crew, this is day 55 of working 14+ hours per day. Locations, period everything and now there are dozens of Extras, period cars and fire effects. As tough as it gets production wise. The scene is a version of Krystalnacht. I talk to another Extra. Nice guy. He is going to play the owner of the shop we burn. The AD comes over and talks him through the scene. It's horrible.

'This was your father's shop. You thought these people were your neighbors, your community, but they turned on you. Set your family's shop on fire and beat you. You're going to be chained to a police car while it burns.'

My stomach is in knots. How am I going to get into the headspace of the monster I have to play? The shop keeper goes to HMU. Comes back with a fake gash on his forehead that looks absolutely real from 2 feet away! Amazing. Hurts just looking at it. In the context of the scene I did that to him!

The rest of the crew rolls in around sunset. Like a circus. Truck after truck. Out comes all the gear, craft services, the BFLs (Big F'ing Lights), a massive generator on an 18-wheeler. Main street gets shut down. At the last minute they put me and three other guys into the Klan robes. I walk to set and POC in the crew grab me to shoot selfies with! Didn't see that coming. We are doing joke poses -- them wagging their finger at me while I turn both palms up like 'Oops'. Them pretending to strangle me. It eases my nerves a bit. One of the crew admits "I never knew the Klan terrorized Jewish people." Many people don't; that's a big part of why we are making this limited series.

Wardrobe comes and smears ash onto the robes. Then the Prop Master comes over. She's a Black woman. Gives me a lantern. We talk a little then I feel comfortable enough to joke with her -- "Does this outfit make my ass look racist?"

The scene is a Jewish father and son, fleeing NJ, driving through western PA to what they hope will be the safety of a relative's house but there is no escape. This is the series finale. They roll up on this mini Krystalnacht. It has to be all in one shot from the interior of the car, the burning shop, the beaten shop keeper, the father and son reacting. The shop is metal made to look like wooden clapboard and it can only "burn" for about 6 minutes at a time before it will warp and become unusable.

It's game time. I have been putting it off but now I need to get into the headspace of this bastard. I can't really do that nor is that the best technique. What you do for emotion is think deeply of things in your real life. Real emotions in fake context. If the character needs to cry you think about your dog dying. For this I had to think about people I dislike enough to want to hurt them. I hit upon people who bully or cheat the vulnerable. Specifically for me, there was a big guy on the bottom floor of a building I lived in who hired and bullied a series of younger LGBT people. He bullied everyone who wasn't his customer but especially these employees and I always wanted to kick his ass even though he never pulled that crap with me. Bingo.

We work of the choreography and timing with the car. Props takes my lantern. Gives me sawed-off shotgun instead (made of hard rubber and you give it back to them between takes). After two takes the AD comes and says "Okay. Don't walk like a badass. Walk like this is all normal. Like you are going to your neighbors' cook out."

Wow. That makes it more evil. That's why these people win Emmys. I do it that way. Carry the shotgun like it is a loaf of bread. The evil is normal in this character's mind. That's 10x worse. Do about 7 more takes with 20 minutes reset between each one. Soon it is 2AM and I am in the middle of dozens wonderful Black and Jewish people wearing 1940s Klan robes. My life has clearly taken an unexpected detour.

Got that shot. Now we do the shot where a Klan member steps in front of their car and looks in at them, seeing they look Jewish (this is the teaser below). The Director steps to me. "Give me your death stare!" We do about ten takes of stepping in front of the car. It has to line up perfectly. Stepping in front of the car has to look right. Slow but intimidating. The eyes have to read despite the hood so you have to get the head position right. Finally we nailed it and the crew goes wild. Turns out that was last set up of the whole production. A brief wrap party start immediately. People are thanked and cut loose. The most intense and thought provoking work I have done so far. Glad I trusted professionals. Glad that most people can see me as I am and not as who I portray.

It has been years but I still cry when I watch this teaser, including right now. It's not sadness. It is the intensity of emotions that come from merging truth and art and from still wanting better behavior from the worst among us.

[LearnedHand]

1. I am gobsmacked

Wow. I can’t imagine what it must be like to play the very character you spent your life hating. Also, great narrative of your experience. This one will definitely go on my watchlist.

On edit: I really am gobsmacked. This is a beautifully written narrative of the other side of the camera. Thank you for telling this story.

[LearnedHand]

2. Omg is that your death stare in the trailer???

I just watched the trailer and saw that scene with the Klan member staring at the car. Is that you??? It’s priceless!

[GreatGazoo]

3. Thanks - yes

The 'Don't walk like a badass' was earlier in the sequence (and not in that trailer).

Step in front of the car (1:37) was "Okay DO walk like a badass! And glare with all you've got."

[Figarosmom]

4. Great writing and what a dilemma

Having to decide rather to do this part or not. Did you get any semblance of the mindset of those who did (do) wear those robes? It must be awful to hold that much hate.

You've lived an exciting life it seems. Playing different people must be a mind bending thing.

Thanks for the essay. Revealing yourself was hard I'm sure.

[GreatGazoo]

6. "semblance of the mindset" -- not really

The anonymity of the robes and the hiding of your face seems more rooted in fear, even shame, than anything else. There is a kind of desperation in needing to feel better than someone else. Matthew Cooke lays it out well in this video.

Socrates said "The oppressed oppress" and that fits with the dynamics explored in this quick review of how we got to the current mess. The bombastic title put me off but he is using the term 'race bait' to comment on how others have played on that; certainly not excusing it or recommending it. Fair warning this is graphic and emotionally intense:

More hopeful and upbeat, Daryl Davis has become known as "the Klan whisperer". Guts and heart:

[Eko]

5. Wow that was a great series.

Thanks for being a part of that.