Spurious News: Trump issues strange new justification for giving him the Nobel Peace Prize!

[jmowreader]

PALM BEACH, FLA (Spurious News Network) -- King Donald Trump's desire for a Nobel Peace Prize is nearly as well-known as his abject stupidity. Today he released what may be the most unusual justification for receiving the prize in its history.

"The Nobel Peace Prize is mine now," wrote Trump on Truth Social. "I stopped a nuclear war in Iran. If they don't give me the Nobel Peace Prize this year seven US Army and two US Marine divisions will invade and occupy Norway until they get their act together and change their minds about the most peace-loving president the world has ever known."

Jørgen Watne Frydnes, chair of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, immediately responded to Trump's post. "The nuclear war you claim to have stopped is the one you were about to start. That doesn't count. The Committee has voted to never award you any Nobel Prize under any circumstance."

In response, Kraft Heinz Foods has suspended sales of ketchup nationwide for the next two weeks. According to a Kraft Heinz spokesperson, "every time Trump gets some bad news there's a nationwide shortage of ketchup. That has to stop."

[Ocelot II]

1. I know you intended this to be satirical, but...

[Goonch]

2. ;-{) WAAH!

[Norrrm]

3. Conservative suckers pay big money for expensive symbolism/ketchup. In the Kerry/Dubya election, the right wingers had

Conservative suckers pay big money for expensive symbolism/ketchup.

In the Kerry/Dubya election, the right wingers had this conservative ketchup so they would be protesting Heinz ketchup, which they thought was enriching Kerry’s wife. She had sold most of her part of Heinz. The conservative ketchup was very expensive and then you had to pay shipping, which was not cheap either. I emailed one of the companies wondering if they had actually bought or leased a factory to make a short-term fad product. They contracted it out to a gourmet ketchup company ---- in California.

The conservative sheeple were buying overpriced ketchup from Liberalfornia to protest something that was not happening.

I wished them well in their endeavors. They found a niche market to make a good buck off the easily led.

Funny thing - Heinz Corp was primarily supporting republicans.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/heinz-sight/

[jmowreader]

4. More than just "supporting Republicans"

Henry John Heinz III was the grandson of the man who founded the Heinz food company. As a Republican, he represented Pennsylvania in the US House for three terms, then served in the Senate for most of three terms. He was VERY popular and a good politician.

Four years after Senator Heinz died in a plane crash, his widow Teresa married John Kerry.