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Javaman

(65,790 posts)
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 08:57 AM 19 hrs ago

when my mom got dementia, she no longer recognized me.

prior to her slipping into dementia, she and I had this great relationship of cracking each other up. She loved to laugh and crack jokes or make funny snide remarks. She had one hell of a wit.

And she loved music. Most of all Artie Shaw.

but here is the thing with her dementia, she wouldn't know who I was when I would go visit her. She would say, "you look so familiar, I know you from somewhere". It was heartbreaking.

but then, I would crack a joke and she would get it. not only get it, but she would shoot back with a quick retort. and we'd start cracking up and she would remember who I was. It was fascinating to witness.

Anytime I would play her Artie Shaw, she was back in the moment. and although frail, we would dance a very slow and deliberate Lindy.

Why do I bring this all up?

because this is what I think we are seeing with the orange pedo. there are things that trigger him that bring him into the present.

And what are those things? flattery, money, talking about building things; to name a few. Things that bring the demented fuck some sort of familiarity. Memories of "good times". I'm sure there also other things that are too disgusting to mention.

So when the fascists try and point out that he's "still on his game", that "game" is only a fleeting moment. his preening in front of a teleprompter is one of those fleeting moments.

what we are not seeing is what is happening what he vanishes for days.

My mom as she slipped further into dementia, would sometimes become violent, vulgar and downright nasty. And the sweet funny woman, that I once knew and would still bubble to the surface from time to time, slowly started to fade completely away until she was gone.

we are now witness to the orange pedo at one of these stages (it's different with everyone and to the degree). his various mood swings, his now very obvious vulgar out bursts, his moments of seemingly forgetting things are all signs my mom had.

I know for a fact my mom hated the trumps. she would regale me of stories of fred trump and his rat infested "cold water flats" in NY.

I'm glad she didn't have to live through this.

35 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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when my mom got dementia, she no longer recognized me. (Original Post) Javaman 19 hrs ago OP
Same happened to my mom SocialDemocrat61 18 hrs ago #1
Well, dang, sorry you had to experience that SpankMe 17 hrs ago #2
There is quite a bit of research into Alzheimer's and other kinds of dementia. yardwork 16 hrs ago #10
With my mom it was both heartbreaking and fortunate Wednesdays 14 hrs ago #32
Pedo Trump didn't recognize Melania Farmer-Rick 17 hrs ago #3
Maybe that wasn't Melania. yardwork 16 hrs ago #11
i'm trying to find a video/news clip of that-- where he's looking for her and what she said. do you have a link? nt orleans 16 hrs ago #25
This. Wednesdays 14 hrs ago #33
Luke Beasley had it on his show Sunday Farmer-Rick 14 hrs ago #34
This makes complete sense. Trueblue Texan 17 hrs ago #4
Well said. Each of us as individuals feel powerless to do anything KPN 17 hrs ago #7
There's a way. Hope they do it. Joinfortmill 16 hrs ago #27
as per Trump... agingdem 17 hrs ago #5
regarding him "slipping"... Javaman 16 hrs ago #19
I agree but Trump is a whole other species... agingdem 15 hrs ago #29
that reminds me of this quote... Javaman 15 hrs ago #30
I've observed for some time that he only seems fully engaged/animated when talking about... 3catwoman3 17 hrs ago #6
The greatest thing about him is that he will be vilified and detested in death... Moostache 16 hrs ago #17
Alto he would never admit it, there must be some tiny part of him that does know he is a fraud... 3catwoman3 16 hrs ago #20
DURec leftstreet 17 hrs ago #8
Same here with my mom ... OldBoss 17 hrs ago #9
I'm so sorry you're going through this. yardwork 16 hrs ago #14
Clearly you have and I reccommend we all hold on Prairie_Seagull 16 hrs ago #12
Went through the stages with my mother-in-law. StarryNite 16 hrs ago #13
if i remember correctly AllaN01Bear 16 hrs ago #15
John Denver Did Not Have Dementia. And The Song Is Simply About... ColoringFool 16 hrs ago #22
And John Denver was only 53 when he died Wednesdays 15 hrs ago #31
You might be thinking of "I'm Not Gonna Miss You" by Glen Campbell. 3catwoman3 16 hrs ago #23
Same with my dad.. HipChick 16 hrs ago #16
I'm sorry this happened to your mom. area51 16 hrs ago #18
A president w/cognitive vulnerabilities? Who wouldn't love that? Putin? Netanyahu? AnotherMother4Peace 16 hrs ago #21
So sorry about your mom. Dementia is my biggest fear as I get older and so far I'm one of the lucky ones. Vinca 16 hrs ago #24
Mom sounds like I'd like her a lot. Joinfortmill 16 hrs ago #26
as we would say back in NY, she was something else. :) Javaman 15 hrs ago #28
... Faux pas 13 hrs ago #35

SocialDemocrat61

(7,686 posts)
1. Same happened to my mom
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 09:17 AM
18 hrs ago

Last time I saw her at one point she said to me, 'I'm sorry but I forgot your name'. When I told her, she said, 'What a coincidence. I have a son with that name'. She died in 2020 but she was still OK in 16 and it broke her heart when Hillary Clinton lost the election.

SpankMe

(3,724 posts)
2. Well, dang, sorry you had to experience that
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 10:35 AM
17 hrs ago

This level of dementia where they forget their own children is just plain heartbreaking and infuriating.

I would argue that brain-emptying dementia is worse in some cases than cancer. Of all the medical research going on in the world today, I wish there'd be a greater focus on this. It's high time we had a treatment or cure.

yardwork

(69,380 posts)
10. There is quite a bit of research into Alzheimer's and other kinds of dementia.
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:22 AM
16 hrs ago

Of course, since Musk and RFK, Jr. destroyed federal funding there is less money for research.

Wednesdays

(22,679 posts)
32. With my mom it was both heartbreaking and fortunate
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 01:15 PM
14 hrs ago

The last couple of years, she acted as though I were a stranger. At the same time, she stopped remembering all the bad stuff that worried her, angered her, and made her feel guilty. So, the last couple of years of her life were her happiest.

Farmer-Rick

(12,697 posts)
3. Pedo Trump didn't recognize Melania
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 10:40 AM
17 hrs ago

During his Easter speech to the children. She was standing right next to him and he said, "Where is Melania?" He kept repeating, "where is Melania?" and she got this stupid look on her face that said, "See what I have to put up with."

He's going to try to drop a nuke on Iran, unless someone removes him. He's so far gone, that I wouldn't ever let him drive a car let alone run a war.

But hey, the idiots who put him in power are loving it.

orleans

(36,978 posts)
25. i'm trying to find a video/news clip of that-- where he's looking for her and what she said. do you have a link? nt
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:59 AM
16 hrs ago

Trueblue Texan

(4,498 posts)
4. This makes complete sense.
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 10:45 AM
17 hrs ago

If only we could get someone with the power to do something about it to recognize this. But as evil as he is, he is also likely being exploited. I never thought about it like that. We are far beyond an emergency here and no amount of marching in the streets, which I do every chance I get, will stave off the destruction he has in mind for Iran and for which our nation will pay a long and heavy price. Something must be done to stop him NOW. I don’t know what we can do. I’m listening for suggestions.

A side note, thank you for sharing about your mom’s love of the music of Artie Shaw. I love Big Band and American Standards music. I’m a huge fan of Beegie Adair (who is now passed on but whose store remains open online, for fans). I will be exploring more of Artie Shaw’s music.

KPN

(17,395 posts)
7. Well said. Each of us as individuals feel powerless to do anything
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:08 AM
17 hrs ago

that can end this insanity, and we now seem virtually on the precipice. Are there no patriots with the power to actually do something? It’s all just so bizarre! Like Dr. Strangelove except the madman sits at the very top,

agingdem

(8,871 posts)
5. as per Trump...
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:04 AM
17 hrs ago

do you agree he is beyond "slipping into dementia" and has arrived full-stop?...

Trump is profane, nasty, threatening, raging, crude, malicious ,vengeful, perverse, sadistic...no filter, no social graces, no restraint....he's a deviant man-child toddler shrieking "Everything is mine and you can't have it!"

my mother-in-law, a kind gentle loving woman, angrily refused her dementia diagnosis, never admitting she didn't know a giraffe from a cat or the name of her deceased husband of 55 years...but when Trump is confronted with his obvious cognitive decline he boasts of the five tests he supposedly aced..

what I find terrifying is that in his senility he's changed very little in that a once lucid younger Trump is who he is at 80 but with more rage, paranoia and a ferocious need to destroy...

Javaman

(65,790 posts)
19. regarding him "slipping"...
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:47 AM
16 hrs ago

I'm no doctor for sure, but everyone is different.

Diet, exercise and life outlook do play a role but to what degree...>shrug

Javaman

(65,790 posts)
30. that reminds me of this quote...
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 12:18 PM
15 hrs ago

"there goes, one of gods original prototypes, never meant for mass production. Too weird to live, to rare to die"
Hunter S. Thompson.

LOL

3catwoman3

(29,463 posts)
6. I've observed for some time that he only seems fully engaged/animated when talking about...
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:06 AM
17 hrs ago

...his favorite subject - himself, and how awesome, magnificent, accomplished and above reproach he is.

When he has to speak about pretty much anything else, his delivery is flat, dry, and you can tell he's bored out of what's left of his mind.

Thank you for the story of your mom.

Moostache

(11,197 posts)
17. The greatest thing about him is that he will be vilified and detested in death...
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:39 AM
16 hrs ago

He tells himself these stories of greatest this and best in forever that but he KNOWS its bullshit...he KNOWS people widely regard him as a buffoon - except for the bloodless zealot MAGA types that he already despises because they make him 'look bad' (as if he was not 99.99% responsible for the opinion of him others have...)

He is going to die sooner than later and when he does, there will be no mourning or wistful remembrance the PLANET will unite in joyous rapture and the urine will flow freely over his corpse's final repose. When the mad wannabe king is dead, the angels themselves will cry out "Hallelujah!"

3catwoman3

(29,463 posts)
20. Alto he would never admit it, there must be some tiny part of him that does know he is a fraud...
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:48 AM
16 hrs ago

...because he would not be so defensive and vengeful if he weren't. He'd be able to shrug off criticism, let it roll off like the proverbial water off a duck's back, rather than being unable to ignore even the tiniest of slights.

The journalist who described him as "gossamer-skinned" was spot on.

OldBoss

(79 posts)
9. Same here with my mom ...
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:12 AM
17 hrs ago

The sundowning is brutal, fits of rage after dinner including cursing it’s awful. Then she doesn’t remember it in the morning. Forgetfulness and repeating herself is no big deal compared to the sundown and anger. It’s obvious this is happening to the convict too.

yardwork

(69,380 posts)
14. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:25 AM
16 hrs ago

My mom passed away four years ago from dementia. It's very very difficult to be a caregiver for someone with dementia.

Prairie_Seagull

(4,705 posts)
12. Clearly you have and I reccommend we all hold on
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:23 AM
16 hrs ago

to the humor. It may well be what gets us all through. That and a guillotine. (just humor)

StarryNite

(12,132 posts)
13. Went through the stages with my mother-in-law.
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:24 AM
16 hrs ago

The angry, agitated stage was awful although she was always angry during that time. It would come and go until she passed through that stage completely.

Dump appears to be in the moderate stage.

Stages and Symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease

https://curealz.org/the-basics-of-alzheimers-disease/stages-and-symptoms-of-alzheimers-disease/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23014477435&gbraid=0AAAAA_JeNi-ajf6gys91wXJxXv6gzKihG&gclid=CjwKCAjw1tLOBhAMEiwAiPkRHv3jIejn1O_nupzKahehjljCzUWDTP97j-39Gxr3YqwEKm_422F6TRoC3vwQAvD_BwE

AllaN01Bear

(29,570 posts)
15. if i remember correctly
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:26 AM
16 hrs ago

the late singer john denver wrote a song called you wont know me when i am gone when he stated to develop dementia.

ColoringFool

(740 posts)
22. John Denver Did Not Have Dementia. And The Song Is Simply About...
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:53 AM
16 hrs ago

The repeated farewells of the road and in life.

He died piloting an experimental aircraft.

3catwoman3

(29,463 posts)
23. You might be thinking of "I'm Not Gonna Miss You" by Glen Campbell.
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:58 AM
16 hrs ago

It's very poignant. John Denver was only 53 when he died in a plane crash.

Here's the Campbell song -

HipChick

(25,614 posts)
16. Same with my dad..
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:29 AM
16 hrs ago

Even though I braced myself for it, it was heartbreaking when it did start happening...

Vinca

(54,040 posts)
24. So sorry about your mom. Dementia is my biggest fear as I get older and so far I'm one of the lucky ones.
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:59 AM
16 hrs ago

Your insight about Trump's behavior seems to be absolutely correct. If only the people who could remove him from office had that insight.

Joinfortmill

(21,234 posts)
26. Mom sounds like I'd like her a lot.
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 12:01 PM
16 hrs ago

As I age, I find I throw the 'fucks' around a lot more often.

Javaman

(65,790 posts)
28. as we would say back in NY, she was something else. :)
Tue Apr 7, 2026, 12:15 PM
15 hrs ago

she's gone now 16 years. She would have been 102 last month.

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