We had to put my little sweatheart down Saturday night.

[AZ8theist]

I failed her.

We rescued her about 10 years ago. Not sure how old she was.
But she was the most sweatest, loving little dog one could ever hope to have.

And I failed her.

She had advanced kidney disease. I took her in about year ago to get dental work, but the blood tests showed she couldn't safely undergo anesthesia. So the vet recommended a kidney supporting diet. She HATED the canned food. So my wife and I cooked her meals for her using ingrediants to help her kidneys over the last year.

I failed her.

I should have taken her to the vet to get her teeth cleaned YEARS ago, but I didn't. I didn't brush her teeth regularly. With a clean mouth, maybe the bacteria would not have been so bad as to destroy her kidneys. Last Saturday night she took a frightening turn for the worse. There was no other option but to take her to the emegency clinic and have her humanly euthanized. I could not stand seeing her in pain.
So now...right now, this big, old, dumb ex-hockey player is crying like a child over my sweat little Peanut:


To all dog and cat owners out there:

PLEASE, PLEASE ,PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR PETS DENTAL HEALTH
It is vitally important and could mean life or death for your beloved pet.

Rest in Peace, Peanut. You are so missed.

[sinkingfeeling]

1. My deepest condolences.

[BlueKota]

2. I am so sorry for your loss.

[AltairIV]

3. My deepest sympathies and condolences.

You did NOT fail her, you rescued her and gave her a loving home for many, many years. Hold on to all those memories, because trust me, as time passes they will bring a smile to your face and warm your heart.

[Zelda_Orchid]

4. Dogs are good people

[Dave says]

22. The best

I grew up a feral child, raised by Labrador retrievers.

[femmedem]

5. Oh AZ8theist, you didn't fail her. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time.

You gave her a decade of love, and each meal you and your wife made for her was love upon love upon love. The odds are small that she would have had such a long and good life if you hadn't rescued her years ago.

I know how much it hurts. Regardless of the reason, losing our beloved pets is hard. But please don't let guilt compound your grief. If Peanut could speak, she'd thank you for a lifetime of care.

[malaise]

6. You did not fail her

You rescued her.
Putting down a pet is way too painful. It still hurts decades later

[FakeNoose]

7. Dear Peanut, cross gently over the Rainbow Bridge

Daddy will see you on another day!

[George McGovern]

8. Crossing The Rainbow Bridge by Stella Violano

[70sEraVet]

10. I LOVE that!!

[Diamond_Dog]

26. Oh WOW. What a beautiful painting! Tears beginning .....

[70sEraVet]

9. I, too, deal with guilt over the death of my last dog.

The old boy was around 18 years old when I had him put down. He was also a rescue. I guess it's easy to feel guilt because they are totally dependent on us for love and care. But you and I both provided an abundance of love and care to these fine, loyal creatures. We did NOT let them down.
Enjoy Peanut's memory, talk about him often. And be easy on yourself.

[lonely bird]

11. Rest gently Peanut

And rest assured Peanut knows you did your best.

We only can have them a short time to remind us to be kind.

[JMCKUSICK]

12. I'm so sorry AZ8theist, please be kind to yourself today.

[mountain grammy]

13. I'm so sorry

Please don’t blame yourself. Let that go. Much love to you ❤️

[Swede]

14. My sympathies to you and your clan.

It's never easy losing a pet. Take care.

[irisblue]

15. I am so so very sorry for your loss.

[LoisB]

16. I am so sorry.

[niyad]

17. Lady of the Beasts, please take your little Peanut gently home in Your

loving arms, and send peace and comfort to her grieving loved ones.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Peanut. There are no words that can truly help ease the grief and pain. But know that you gave her ten years of love and home. Do not be surprised if she comes to visit you.

[gademocrat7]

18. Condolences

On the loss of your beloved Peanut.

[Phoenix61]

19. I'm so sorry for your loss. You did not fail her.

You gave her 10 wonderful, love filled years.

[get the red out]

20. I am so sorry

Pets are our angels. You didn't fail her, older dogs develop health problems quickly. I lost my precious, 15 1/2 year old, Layla in January. I took her to the Vet regularly for arthritis treatments and she was the same diva she had always been. Then I saw her start having seizures, I got her to our Vet quickly and he found a large tumor on her spleen. I feel guilty because looking back there might have been signs of these already beginning to happen, like finding poop on the dog beds and one literally soaked with pee. But I had no idea what that meant or which of my 2 dogs might be responsible. I have to remind myself that I had no idea that could be from Layla having a seizure.

It sounds like your angel was very fortunate to have been in your and your wife's care. You obviously did everything possible to take the best care of her. We can only do what we can do.

[Americanme]

21. Sorry for your loss.

We had a scare a while back with our dog. 2 different vets in 2 different towns told us he had cancer, should be put down. He had lost 30 pounds, was very sad and listless. But, he started eating, gained 40 pounds, has been healthy for over a year. The vet said she can't explain it, but there is no sign of cancer or anything else. He is a big happy dog.

[Botany]

23. You did the right thing you stopped your friend from hurting but that doesn't stop you from feeling the hurt 2.

And it sounds like you gave your dog some extra quality time with his pack.

[StarryNite]

24. What a beautiful girl.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

[FalloutShelter]

25. So sorry for your loss.

Peanut thrived in your love. You gave her a good life and love is never failure.

Sending a big hug, because I have suffered these losses many times. She is always with you.

[kellytore]

27. You did not fail her.

You gave Peanut a loving home and a life she might not have had without you. Thank you for being who you are.

[Diamond_Dog]

28. You gave Peanut a loving home for ten years. That counts for everything.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it is to lose a beloved furry family member.

[Clouds Passing]

29. I'm sorry AZ8theist 😥 Aw Peanut

[virgdem]

30. Deepest condolences on the loss of Peanut.

You loved her. That is all that matters.🌈💔

[kairos12]

31. My profound condolences to you.

Such a beautiful companion.

[democrank]

32. So sorry for your loss, AZ8theist.

You certainly didn’t fail your sweet girl. Think of all those years and all that love you gave her.

Take good care ~

[LetMyPeopleVote]

33. It is hard saying goodbye to a family member

[Bluepinky]

34. So sorry about Peanut. But you didn't fail her.

I understand your feelings, as our family had to put down our beloved family member, Bella, earlier this week. Maybe Bella and Peanut will be friends in the afterlife. Take care, and don’t be too hard on yourself.

[EuterpeThelo]

76. Thank you for saying this, Bluepinky

I came on to say the exact same thing, even down to having to release my own beloved soul cat, Bellatrix, ten days ago. She was the friendliest, most loving cat and I promise you she was there to greet both your Bella and Peanut where they can all play together now without any more pain on the rainbow bridge.

From what I just read, not only did AZ8theist NOT fail Peanut, but he and his wife did everything in their power to cherish Peanut and give her a life filled with love. Caring enough to cook her meals for her!

There are SO many things that vets mention during check ups that, at the time, sound like they're kind of in passing. Years later, when they fall ill, it's easy to go over the pet's record and see things you never noticed before and then guilt yourself and second-guess what you could or should have done differently.

I know there are no words that make this loss bearable, as our pets are the closest we'll ever get to pure, unconditional love. As someone else said, AZ8theist, please be gentle with yourself. Peanut knows how much she was loved and she'd rather have spent her life, however long, with you than anyone else in the universe.

[Bluepinky]

81. I love everything about your response.

As you stated, AZ8theist has not failed Peanut at all, even cooking her meals for her!!

Our animal friends are the closest we’ll get to pure, unconditional love - how true that is.

“Pets are only one part of your life, but to them, you are their whole life”.

[Mme. Defarge]

35. You may not be a "believer"

but Billy Graham once said that he could could not imagine heaven without his dog.

[LaMouffette]

36. My dear AZ8theist, you absolutely, positively did NOT fail your beloved Peanut! First of all, you rescued her! Second,

you and your wife lavished her with love and attention for the rest of her life. Peanut, I am sure, did not want for anything her entire life. You gave her the very best life a pup could ever hope for.

But believe me, I know what you are going through. Our sweet older Yorkie also needed a procedure with anesthesia and the pre-procedure tests were what discovered that she had kidney disease. We tore ourselves up with guilt: We should have done this, we shouldn't have done that. And we are still remorseful over the mistakes we made. But we remind ourselves that we are very much human and humans make mistakes, and sometimes these are mistakes that hurt the ones we love the very most.

From your user name, I see that you are an atheist, and I respect that. I'm an "agnostic leaner." I lean toward believing that our bodies die, but our spirits are indestructible. I also lean toward believing those who have had near-death experiences. To me, these are very compelling and are a great source of comfort, especially after experiencing a loss of a loved one. Here's one I would like to share with you. It's pretty long, but you can go to 6:28 in the video for the part about pets. Like I said, I'm an agnostic. I'm not 100 percent sure there is an afterlife, but I certainly hope so, so that we can all see our loved ones again, both the human kind and the furry kind.

All the very best to you and your wife!

[EuterpeThelo]

77. Love this, LM. Thanks for sharing and I hope it brings some comfort to the OP.

Ever since my husband died, I go to sleep listening to videos about NDEs, psychic mediums and quantum theory about time and other dimensions. I identify as basically a pagan agnostic but have gotten so many signs, I mean UNMISTAKABLE and UNDENIABLE ones for which there is just simply no other explanation, in the past six years that I no longer believe our consciousness and essence dies with our physical form.

FWIW, both of my girl cats, the two kitties I had the longest, have visited since they transitioned - both the one we lost in 2019 at age 20-1/2, and the 18 year-old who was my familiar who just passed on March 8 (she came that SAME NIGHT to both me and my adult daughter).

[Prairie_Seagull]

37. Very sorry for your loss of Peanut.

Also thankful for PSA about dental health in dogs. We lost a dog due to this years ago. At the time, who knew? Not everyone got the memo. You did not fail her.

Peace AZ8theist.

[HeartsCanHope]

38. I am so sorry, AZ8theist. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

I will be thinking of you all.

When you feel ready, I would like you to watch this TED talk by an emergency vet on euthanasia.

Sarah Hoggan DVM talks about the emotional costs of euthanasia.

I found it so helpful when I struggled with the loss and the guilt I felt after letting my last two babies go.

I'm not just talking about making the decision to euthanize.

I'm talking about every decision I made about their care. I wept every day about my failure to see that

they were ill in time to make a difference. A friend sent me this video.

It helped to find that I was not alone in my feelings of guilt and grief.

Thank you for loving Peanut so much. Thank you for giving Peanut the best life ever--a life with

a family that clearly adored her. I hope that you will find peace and your memories of Peanut will always

fill your heart with joy.

[róisín_dubh]

39. Oh no, you didn't fail her...

Please don’t think that. I’m sorry for your loss. She’ll be wagging her tail and waiting for you in the Great Sofa in the Sky. Big hugs.

[ratchiweenie]

40. You did not fail her. You took her in and loved her for years and years. I know you are greiving but don't please stop

beating yourself up. I know how you feel because it happened to me. I let a little dog get overweight without realizing she had heart valve problems. It took me a while to accept that we loved her and how happy her life was. Please be kind to yourself right now.

[PatSeg]

41. Such a sweet face

She looks a lot like our Ender, who is 16 years old now.

Such a great loss.

[MustLoveBeagles]

42. Peanut was beautiful dog 🐕😍

Please don't torture yourself with what if's. For 10 years you gave Peanut love and happiness. That's what matters.

[Grim Chieftain]

43. Dear AZ8theist, You did not fail Peanut

You and your wife did all you could, Trust me, I know. I also have a rescue dog, Dickens, who is twelve and has kidney disease and serious dental issues. Our vet said he needs serious teeth cleaning, but he can't sedate him because of his kidney disease. We give him soft food designed for kidney issues. He doesn't like it so well, so we alternate the beef and chicken food. Once in awhile I put scramble eggs on top of his food. He is the sweetest little fellow.

As loving pet parents, we do what we can. Much of it is out of our control. To make matters worse, our bichon has Cushing's disease. We're trying to brace ourselves for the inevitable of having two dogs who have life threatening issues.

Be strong, friend. Keep the blessed memories, and cherish the time you had with Peanut.

[dawn5651]

44. rest in peace peanut. i am so sorry for the loss of your fur baby az8theist

[KitFox]

45. Oh, AZ8theist, the sorrow and overwhelming loss you are feeling is the sure sign that your Peanut had the best and

loving home and a wonderful life. Remember that every moment of joy she brought into your lives, was equally felt by her. Gentle hugs to you as you deal with this tough loss. 🩷🩷🩷

[Scubamatt]

46. I am so sorry for you

Losing a family member is heart wrenching - wishing you peace, healing and fond memories.

[chowder66]

47. My heart goes out to you.

[CousinIT]

48. Good advice. And same for humans. Dental health affects the rest of the body...

...in dogs, cats, and humans. The bacteria cross the blood-brain barrier, affect the kidneys and other organs, and may be linked to dementia. It takes less than a minute for it to travel throughout the entire body from the mouth. Yech.

My periodontist recommends (for humans) brushing/flossing 4x per day (even with just water for 3 of those instances) to loosen the bacterial biofilm that builds up on the teeth and between the teeth and gums. Got morning breath? Don't grab the mouthwash. Grab the toothbrush - and some water. Brush your tongue, too, then rinse and spit. Bad breath - gone.

Of course, for a pet, maybe that means brushing daily (or using some of that water additive stuff or dental cleaning chews or whatever the vet recommends) and then paying to have their teeth cleaned - yep - expensive. But the alternative is...not good.

[TBF]

49. So sorry for your loss -

I've had a lot of rescue labs over the years and have done the best I can with them. I had one that was recovering from heartworm in his last residence and was supposedly "cured". Our vet's comment is that he was doing well for a while but that the heartworm had most likely damaged his organs which led to his medical issues (although I did try to make homemade for him - lean chicken with pumpkin etc). I will say this country is getting better about rehoming animals and shutting down the notorious "kill" shelters, pet health insurance is a thing now that can be helpful, too, but of course there is only so much we can do. You gave peanut a very happy home and comforts, and they knew they were loved. In the end that's all any of us can really do.

[Lulu KC]

50. We've been there!

I know exactly what you're talking about. I could easily launch into "don't blame yourself" but it's too soon. Sometimes we do our best and it's not good enough. We're humans. It goes with the territory. I send massive amounts of sympathy. Peanut had a beautiful life with you.

[SheltieLover]

51. Deepest condolences

[area51]

52. I'm so sorry.

You didn't fail her; you gave her love & companionship.

[livetohike]

53. I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet Peanut. My sympathy

to you and family. May only the good memories of Peanut comfort you and make you smile. Rest in peace sweet girl .

[Deuxcents]

54. Prayers for your broken heart 💔 Ten years of tender loving care gave Peanut her best life so now she can rest in peace

[cate94]

55. I am so sorry

But I disagree, you did not fail her. You gave her a good life. Key word here is rescue. You rescued her. I know right now the pain is horrible, but please don’t make it worse by blaming yourself.

[leftstreet]

56. Oh no

I'm so sorry

[Figarosmom]

57. RIP Peanut

I'm so sorry. I'm sure you gave Peanut the best life and happiness she could have asked for. Stop punishing yourself with the "should haves" it does nothing but bring more grief. Celebrate the love and happiness you did bring her in her life. Be happy for the time you did have.

[Bumbles]

58. Please do not blame yourself.

There are many things that can cause kidney disease, including genetics. My girl Daphne was just diagnosed with early to mid stage kidney disease. Her sister Audrey died from it a few years ago. We caught Daphne's early and are doing all we can to give her as good a life as possible until it's time for us to let her go.

AZ8theist, you gave her love and a wonderful home. I often say how I wish dogs and cats could live as long at parrots and tortoises, but it's just not meant to be. I'm happy for you that she was in your life as long as she was.

[pat_k]

59. Please be as gentle with yourself as you would be with a friend in your shoes.

I have no idea what, if anything awaits us, but I love the imagery this poem evokes -- a vision of all my good dogs and the warmth of gratitude for the joy they brought to my life.

Of course I could have/should have done better -- walks or care I thought I didn't have time for -- but that pales in comparison to the countless loving moments we shared.

If our canine companions can teach us anything, it's how to just be. They are the epitome of living in the moment. No rumination about past mistakes; no dread about what tomorrow may bring.

Whether I need a reminder of all my good dogs, or just a good cry in times of grief, this is my go to poem. I offer it in the hope you find a little comfort in it at this difficult time, and in the future.

In My Good Death
By Dalia Shevin•October 2010
— For David Shevin, in loving memory

I will find myself waist deep in high summer grass.
The humming shock of the golden light.
And I will hear them before I see them
and know right away who is bounding across
the field to meet me.

All my good dogs will come then,
their wet noses bumping against my palms,
their hot panting, their rough faithful tongues.

Their eyes young and shiny again.
The wiry scruff of their fur,
the unspeakable softness of their bellies,
their velvet ears against my cheeks.

I will bend to them,
my face covered with their kisses,
my hands full of them.

In the grass I will let them knock me down.

[peacebuzzard]

60. so very sorry

this hits hard.
I will take my sweet old Chico for a dental check and plan treatment. so sorry ....

[doubleplusgood]

61. I'm so sorry for your loss

Sincere condolences.

[Skittles]

62. so sorry AZ8theist

Grieve not
nor speak of me with tears
but laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you
I loved you so
’twas Heaven here with you

- Isla Paschal Richardson

[NEOH]

63. I'm So Sorry

I lost my cat, Miss Wampus, a few years ago and it was very hard for me.

It’s very tough lose a pet.

[debm55]

64. I am so sorry, AZ8theist. It wasn't your fault. May the memories of sweet Peanut be a blessing to you.

[stage left]

65. I'm so very sorry

for the loss of your beloved little girl, Peanut. Peanut doesn't blame you. She loves you still. I'm an atheist too, but i believe that something of us remains, our energy perhaps, beyond death. Of us and every living thing.

[redwitch]

66. I'm so sorry!

But please don’t beat yourself up, you gave her a good life and a loving home.

[senseandsensibility]

67. Peanut would not want you to blame yourself and feel guilty

That much I know. Of course you should grieve in your own way, but please don't do that. RIP, Peanut.

[littlemissmartypants]

68. Nothing prepares us for the loss of a loved one. 💧💔

[debsy]

69. I am so sorry for your loss!

I’m sure you were a great parent and peanut loved you as much as you love her.

It is great advice to take care of our non human family members’ dental hygiene. I think the best time to start is when they are very young so they get accustomed to it.

[Raine]

70. You loved her, you didn't fail her

she knew you loved her, that's not failing.

R-I-P Peanut

[Buddyzbuddy]

71. You couldn't possibly have failed her.

Not the person that took her in 10 years ago with the silent promise to take care of her to the best of their ability with the limited knowledge to do so and the person that wrote "But she was the most sweatest, loving little dog one could ever hope to have."

Like most of us who have rescued dogs, unless you're an animal vet, your knowledge is limited by your experiences and advice.
Don't get me started on how many horrendous mistakes I've made with our pet companions but I've learned from each experience that helps each rescued companion that has followed to live a better, happier life. But like you, I carry the guilt of those mistakes and mourned the deep loss of our companions.

I feel great sorrow for the loss you and your family are experiencing.
When the emotional pain has lessened with time, know that Peanut was loved and cared for and knew it. Peanut is the reason you will be better with any future rescues. Thank you for passing on your suggestion. Thank you, Peanut.
Be well, AZ8theist.

[Wicked Blue]

72. I am so sorry for your loss

May your memories of Peanut be a blessing to you

[Abolishinist]

73. This was a big help to me the last time we went through this.

[BigmanPigman]

74. I spent $4,000 on my Chihuahua's teeth

and she still had health issues later in life. In fact I spent thousands on both of my babies. They ended up dying from "old age" and it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!

I would do it again but I am still grieving 6 years later and I can't go through this hell again. Losing a fur baby is the most awful experience I have ever had. I AM very grateful that Spike comes to "visit" me after all these years. In fact she visited me again 2 nights ago. She is waiting for me to go home with her. Your baby is waiting for YOU! That is what happens when you have a very strong bond. I hope you are visited since it is wonderful. I keep a journal by my bed so I force myself to fully wake up and record the experience on a post-it so that when I am fully awake I will remember it better.

I learned that smaller breeds often have tooth problems since their jaw is too small for all their teeth. The doggie dentist I went to was nationally known and worked with animals at zoos, etc. He was a genius and he taught me all about "doggie teeth".

[summer_in_TX]

75. I'm so sorry, AZ8theist. We are still not over missing our little guy, Buddy. He was the best.

He had diabetes, cataracts. Finally his kidneys shut down. We had to put him down then.

Oddly, our last dog before him looked very like your Peanut. Chihuahua ears, fawn colored. Lily was her name. Loved to chase the deer and they seemed confused by her color.

[soldierant]

78. It's normal tp blame yourself in your grief.

The last time I had to euthanize a cat - the last I was strong enough to effectively care for - I was in tears at the vet's office. I won't tell you the exact words he used, because he was very blunt, but it was exactly what I needed to hear, because it translated to something like "The strength of your grief and guilt is directly proportional to how good a pet parent you have been."

And that grief and guilt may never be completely gone - unless and until we meet at the Rainbow Bridge. Because there will be reminders. But I hope you will be able to remember that it's the people who feel the most guilty who are the least guilty - we are just the ones who have the most compassion and love.

[dem4decades]

79. You loved that dog, you didn't fail it. Give yourself a break, losing a dog is tough enough.

[JoseBalow]

80. I'm sorry you're hurting

It's the hardest thing, I know. I hope you feel better.

[Old Crank]

82. Very sad

Stop second guessing yourself.
We just lost our little rescue dog after 14 years.
The move to our new flat didn't help. Mostly blind and deaf he lost contact with dogs he knew and had to find his way around a new house. No way of knowing if he would have lasted longer if we had stayed in the old place.