Trump's Strategy Of Hiring Lawyers Based On Bust Size Not Working As Well As Anticipated

[edbermac]

The Bee is referred to as a conservative Christian news satire site on wiki but I gotta give them credit for this one.


WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump's seemingly bulletproof strategy of choosing lawyers exclusively based on bust size has not worked out nearly as well as anticipated.

Trump was left befuddled this week as the administration suffered a string of legal setbacks despite all of his lawyers having large bra sizes.

"How could she lose, she's so hot," wondered Trump. "It doesn't make any sense. Our lawyer clearly has a much larger bust than their lawyer. It's not even close. It's embarrassing, frankly, the bust comparison. We should have won easily. Maybe the judge is gay, or blind. There's no other way to explain it."

White House aides reportedly tried suggesting to Trump that perhaps he should consider other factors besides bust size when choosing a lawyer. "That is so dumb," responded Trump. "It could be the dumbest idea I've ever heard. Do you think Sydney Sweeney has lost any arguments lately? Have you ever seen a woman with a large bust lose an argument? No, you haven't. It's ridiculous."

At publishing time, Trump had hired a plastic surgeon to help ensure his lawyers didn't lose any more cases.



https://babylonbee.com/news/trumps-strategy-of-hiring-lawyers-based-on-bust-size-not-working-as-well-as-anticipated

[underpants]

1. 😂👍

[rampartd]

2. give it time

he is about to appoint a majority blonde supreme court.

or robert palmer girls in black mini robes?

[PSPS]

3. Robert Palmer

I saw an interview with Robert Palmer talking about the "Simply Irresistible" music video. He said that, when they were preparing for the shooting, a bus drove up and a bunch of "just ordinary everyday girls" got off. They were dressed in normal casual clothes, and went into the dressing trailer. A while later, "they all came out looking like ... that." The impression was that it kind of creeped him out but it was part of his shtick that was popular.

For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Palmer:

[rampartd]

5. kinda creepy

like stepford wives.

what is musk doing with those chips? is that how he turned karoline leavitt into "chatty cathy"

[B.See]

4. Bust size, blond hair, looks...

aka, reverse DEI.

Why do you think Marge was so pssed?

[Jack Valentino]

6. It is ALWAYS better to have an attractive lawyer--- UNLESS----

you give absolutely no consideration to their legal skills,
and they don't actually have any legal skills....


(and from the included photo, only the woman in the middle
approaches what I would consider to be 'adequate'
based upon the presumed 'criteria')




So Trump looked at their boobs, and then his brain froze
(alleging that he HAS any brain left, which admittedly is a hard pull)

[Fichefinder]

7. That does not necessarily mean that the strategy is faulty

Just misapplied.😑

[Kaleva]

8. It was worth a try

[TheBlackAdder]

9. In other words, he hired a bunch of boobs?

[LetMyPeopleVote]

10. It is hard to do satire in today's world

[thebigidea]

11. Oh bullshit. The Onion certainly manages effortlessly compared to the right-wing jerks at "The Babylon Bee"

Our late night hosts and John Oliver manage. All these weird fucks can do is "hilarious" stuff like reducing women to just their breasts. A late night audience would groan in pain at such corny crap.

Conservatives have a hard time being funny. The only ones I ever saw manage it for any length of time are Mike Nelson and Norm Macdonald, who was more of a Canadian conservative-leaning contrarian.