I had so, so much invested in this race...
For starters this was the first presidential campaign ever that I donated a significant amount of money to... Well, it was at least significant to me.
It brings me back to 2020...A close family friend was one of the first people in Virginia to die from COVID-19, back when there were only like 50 documented cases in the whole country. Back then none of us could understand how a healthy woman like Sandra could go into the hospital with "influenza" and be dead in a week...
I had another family friend I used to visit and run errands for because she was at the end of her life. Brenda would keep me an extra 20 minutes every time just to rant about TFG's latest reality TV clown show bullshit. I kept on telling her that we're going to tell Donnie "You're fired!" in November and we'd never have to put up with him again. Same thing with my 85 year old Aunt Johnnie out in Phoenix...
All three of these women despised TFG because they knew was a dangerous buffoon and they all died before Election Day in 2020. For this country to bring the freakshow circus of white rage back to Washington feels like a betrayal of their memory and the memory of so many others. I just feel like we've let them down somehow over some pure bullshit...
= new reply since forum marked as read
I became so numb to seeing it that only now do I feel like I can grieve for all who were lost. And yes, that grief coincides greatly with anger toward those who let it happen--including the main one I refuse to name.
The most difficult part of accepting what happened a mere nine days ago is how so many could have been blissfully ignorant of what we are now seeing horrifically on the horizon...and trying to tamp down my utter and complete contempt for those who refused to see, to believe, to listen--or simply voted for him anyway for some solitary selfish reason.
I am still at the "put one foot in front of the other" and "turn your mind off except for what needs to be focused on at that very moment and hour and day" stage. I am in no frame of mind to plan as I don't have the option to leave. This is not how I pictured this part of my life and I do not want to hear the usual platitudes. Day by day is about all I can handle.
If you know someone is seriously in trouble trying to cope, please reach out to them. In Colorado (and likely elsewhere), we are already seeing mental health and suicide hotlines overwhelmed and sadly some unfortunate outcomes that could not be prevented.
Take care of yourselves and others. 