Per a remark I made the other day about "13 reasons jesus was a witch/

[niyad]

socialist", I googled those terms (before coffee!!). The witch links came up quickly. When I googled the socialist one, I thought google was going to have a meltdown. When the page finally came up, there were so many "he was NOT a socialist" links. . .all to various xian groups that sounded like they needed a fainting couch.

Cracked me up.

[marble falls]

1. Jesus was a socialist. And I'm becoming one, too. Much to my utter suprise.

[niyad]

3. I think I have always been a communitarian.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

2. He walked on water. He is lighter than a duck. Case closed. nt

[niyad]

4. Exactly.

[Bettie]

7. EVEN if they did do the nose...and the hat

he was a witch!

[hatrack]

9. Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

15. I stand on the shoulders of googlers.

[hatrack]

18. My liege!!

/revision/latest?cb=20190529231329

[twodogsbarking]

5. Religious people get pissed off easily.

It pisses them off when you say that.

[niyad]

11. I know. It amuses me to do so. I also point out that his story matches all the

previous "anointed ones", including mithra.

[Farmer-Rick]

6. Sooooo, it seems Christians are more concerned

That Jesus Christ was a socialist than if he was a witch.

[niyad]

12. It does seem that way.

[BruceWane]

17. Of course they are.

It is incumbent upon christians to be like Jesus; if Jesus was a socialist, then they would need to be socialists too. And this is a problem 'cause they want to get into heaven, but they want to keep all their stuff.

Witches don't have any doctrine about keeping stuff/greed, so that's OK.

[Wounded Bear]

8. Jesus was a Social Justice Warrior. I don't think he was a pure socialist...

If socialism is designed as a program/society where government owns the means of production, then he wasn't. He probably wasn't a capitalist either since that wasn't really a thing back then.

That is, if he existed, which I doubt.

[niyad]

13. By definition, it refers to the society or the people having control of production,

distribution, etc.

[Deep State Witch]

20. Actually

I think he was a Social Justice Cleric. I don't think he had enough hit points to be a Warrior.

[Iggo]

24. He could heal like a motherfucker, though.

Good to have around.

[PatSeg]

10. Whoa, that is hilarious!

It would be interesting to imagine what kind of person Jesus was in their minds; well maybe not interesting, more like horrifying.

[niyad]

14. Definitely horrifying.

[PatSeg]

28. Guess Jesus can be anything you want him to be

Just ignore all that stuff he supposedly said and taught.

I wonder, have these people ever even read the bible? I'm hardly a biblical scholar, but I know the lessons and words ascribed to him - real basic stuff. So many good Christians have baffled me for years. It is kind of a do-it-yourself religion or Choose Your Own Adventure, because almost anything goes! Just let your imagination and personal preferences be your guide.

The irony is that so many of these people are the ones that biblical Jesus warned his followers about.

[haele]

16. Actually, he was a Socialist Lich.

The way he "rose from the dead" proves it. Not a Zombie, not a Mummy, not a Ghoul, not a Ghost, not a Vampire.

Just saying.

And he definitely was a Socialist; why else would they call whatever Christ said the "red letter"verses in the Bible?

[Bantamfancier]

19. Naw, everybody knows

Jesus was a Capricorn.

Just ask Kris Kristofferson.

[Prairie_Seagull]

21. Wasn't Jesus the son of google.

[bluesbassman]

22. No, the son of Levon.

And he wants to go to Venus.

[sdfernando]

23. Nice Elton John referrence! /NT

Last edited Mon Dec 5, 2022, 02:27 PM - Edit history (1)

[bluesbassman]

25. I just got to see him on the Goodbye Yellowbrick Road tour!

Absolutely fantastic show in San Antonio. They did a two or three minute jam at the end of Levon that produced a thunderous standing ovation from the sold out crowd. Just an amazing show all the way around!

[sdfernando]

27. Lucky you!

Never had the chance to see him live but I hear he always gives an amazing show.

[Celerity]

26. Reagan Youth - Jesus Was a Communist

[Lunabell]

29. There's absolutely zero evidence a this person actually existed.

Romans during this time kept scrupulous records of trials and executions. And none exist. Also, there's no evidence that Herod killed first born babies either. It never happened.