Ivanka Trump Reportedly Begged Putin to Order Her Dad to Stop Capitol Attack

[erronis]

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/ivanka-trump-reportedly-begged-putin-to-order-her-dad-to-stop-capitol-attack

Ivanka Trump begged Vladimir Putin to command her father to call off the attack on the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, new reports indicate.

According to evidence collected by the House subcommittee investigating the insurrection, when Trump witnessed the rioting on television, she immediately placed a call to the Russian President.

“You’ve got to talk sense to my dad,” Trump reportedly pleaded. “You’re the only one he listens to.”

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“Not Jared?” the Russian leader inquired.

“He thinks Jared’s a joke,” she replied.

According to the report, Putin politely declined her request. “If it got out that I was helping save American democracy, that would make me look bad,” he explained.

Trump reportedly said that she “understood,” and then placed a call to the North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un.

For those that don't understand - this is satire.

[Dorian Gray]

1. Borowitz report satire

but can easily be mistaken for reality.

[erronis]

2. Thanks. I amended it to point to the obvious - for the oblivious.

[Goonch]

3. ;-{)🖖‍

[drray23]

4. Are we sure its satire?

Because I could totally see something like that happening.

[BadgerKid]

6. If it weren't, it's a losing proposition.

Take orders from another leader? A communist leader?!? That’s whom radical RepubliQs support? So to be patriotic for the USA you have to support communism?

Yeah, not a winning play for them.

[catrose]

15. So hard to tell

[TheBlackAdder]

5. Give it a few weeks and we'll find that satire becomes reality.

[Maru Kitteh]

7. I wish we could relegate satire to the lounge, where it belongs.

[Hekate]

9. YES! YES!! YES!!!

Thank you for saying it.

[Hekate]

8. Please put "Borowitz" or "Onion" or whatever in the title

[Celerity]

13. it is in the url

[LoisB]

10. Shoot, it's probably true.

[LoisB]

11. Shoot, it's probably true.

[Takket]

12. yeah, clearly satire.....

now if she had called Kanye West and begged HIM into talking sense into her dad, That would have been believable

[Lucky Luciano]

14. LOL - believable

[BobTheSubgenius]

16. If one didn't read "Borowitz" in the link,

the piece being satire was not a guarantee.

[SeattleVet]

17. When did Borowitz switch over to doing straight news?

[barbtries]

18. I'll admit,

I got pretty far into it before realizing it was satire. I mean we're talking about the trumps FFS

[UTUSN]

19. Hah! - took me 5 secs to peg BOROWITZ - even without Rhiannon or Zorro posting it!

[LetMyPeopleVote]

20. I love good satire

Link to tweet

[Tickle]

21. Lol 😆

Good one ☝️

[Vinca]

22. It's dangerous to put up satire when it's about a Trump. It seems so plausible.

[blogslug]

23. Next time, please put Borowitz in the title

That way one can avoid clicking if one thinks Andy Borowitz's satire is not worth reading.