Republicans Have Forked Themselves!
In 2016, the GQP (as I call it now) came to a "fork" in the road. They took the right fork, because that's the direction they always go. They followed that road, which kept getting narrower and narrower, until it ended up as a mule track through a dense woodland. Along that road, they found Donald J. Trump, the mule who made that track.
But, Republicans are stubborn, and much like mules themselves. So, they followed the Trump Jackass further down the trail they found themselves on after taking the wrong right track at the fork. They couldn't turn back, out of stubbornness at first, but then because the road behind them was washed out by a storm caused by the Russians, who wanted to block their return to the main road before the fork. Worse, a mysterious disease broke out and started killing them. A helicopter flew over and dropped a cure for the disease, but they rejected it because it said "Courtesy of the Democratic Party" on the packaging.
Now, the Republicans are stuck on the path they followed. They're out of cellphone service range so they can't consult Google Maps to find their way out of the mess they have made for themselves. Lots of them are sick and dying, but they're committed to the poor choice they made at the fork, so they keep walking, following the Jackass who led them down this path. That jackass keeps braying, "I'm right. Only I can save you." And they believe, because they really have no other choice at this point.
The GQP is truly forked.
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Sad thing is, the answers are all around them but they can't see until they take off the blindfolds.
